


Upholding

by sterekristmas



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Blackmail, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dyslexia, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Jan Van Eck's A+ Parenting, Jealous Wylan, Kissing, M/M, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Gambling Addiction, Prince Wylan, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, Shit Parenting, Side Canon Pairings - Freeform, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, canon minor character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterekristmas/pseuds/sterekristmas
Summary: "Jesper still hasn't found him, he planned this through.""Yeah man, and I'm the best. They even call me Sharpshooter.""No one calls you Sharpshooter." Nina says, exasperated.Scandalous pictures of the Prince of Netherlands are taken and there's only one group of people capable of fixing this.





	1. My God, My Country, My Honour

**Author's Note:**

> Someone once said that the first fanfic in a new fandom is always self-indulgent, i think everything i write is self-indulgent, but in this case, the level of self-indulgence is higher than usual - which is the only way i would want this to be.  
> My take on royalty here is very outdated, but that's fiction so.  
> Read the end notes for spoilery warning not only for this chapter, but for the rest of the fanfic in case you're concerned about anything.

Jesper's late. He's always late, but today is even worse because he has an important reunion that he shouldn't be late to. But he is. Very late. And it's not even his fault, it was all because of the hangover.

Not a normal hangover, a mental hangover - he stopped drinking years ago, thank you very much, and he has only relapsed a few times, and not once in this last year, but mental hangovers are still quite frequent. He spent the night before rolling in bed, trying to fall asleep, but not able because of all the thoughts in his mind.

He knew that if he went to a bar and drank his weight in liquid all these thoughts would disappear, and he wanted to. But he couldn't, because then he wouldn't be able to look at himself in the mirror or look at his father ever again. So he did the next best thing, he called his fuckbuddy.

At first, Maddie wasn't that excited because it was the middle of the night, but it had already been some time since they got together, so she ended up accepting that he went to her house. She's fun and they have a nice, stringless thing going on. When he's with her he can forget all the thoughts swirling around in his mind and be in the moment. And finally, after they had sex he could fall asleep.

The next day he woke up hangover. It wasn't even the next day, it was two hours after he had finally fallen asleep when his phone woke him up. He had a headache, - like when he drinks - his eyes were all crusty. He had a terrible breath, had not showered after the events of last night and he was also sore. Things were not looking good. So, of course, he did the most reasonable thing, turned off his phone and went back to sleep.

Two hours later Maddie woke him up and told him she was going to work and if he wanted he could stay there. That's when he remembered the important reunion he had that had started an hour before.

He wanted to blame Kaz - his boss - for being late, after all, he was the one who warned them about the reunion at midnight, when he was already in the middle of a breakdown. But that wasn't Kaz's fault, he knew how the clients they took worked. Emergencies appeared out of nowhere and sometimes they had to be at work immediately, without any kind of warning. If you didn't like it, you could quit.

Kaz had let them know on their group message - because corporate emails were a thing of the past, even if on their group chat Inej and Nina also made plans for their waffle dates (he'd tried going on their waffle dates once before, but they hadn't accepted him, and then he tried making barbeque with the boys a thing, but they didn't care) - that they had an important reunion at seven as soon as he made the plans.

He pauses on his way to work and gets coffee to everyone, in hopes that that will make their moods a little bit sweeter and they will forgive him. (Even though the voice in his mind that he knows is from his therapist, but sounds just like Inej is telling him that the best thing to do would be to not be late again.)

Kaz likes his coffee with an extraordinary amount of sugar - no one would have guessed it by looking at his gloomy self. Jesper likes his with a little bit of milk, but he gets it black - like him - this time and puts an extra shot of espresso in it - which he knows will wake him up now, but will make him insufferable during the rest of the day.

The thoughts that were on his mind yesterday are completely gone now. He knows his therapist would tell him that it's important to confront his feelings, but this is one thing she can't make him do. Instead, he finds all the ways to ignore them that are a little bit more healthy than alcohol. Like sex and work. She says that at some point everything is going to explode if he keeps avoiding it, but what can he say, he does like to live on the edge.

He finally gets to the Barrel and gets into their building, the Slat. And it's true, it's _their_ building - or at least Kaz's building - not everyone knows it, but Kaz owns the whole building. Their place is on the last floor - the whole floor, he remembers the first time that he saw it, two years ago, the big windows and beautiful view of the city, he knew that he would never want to work anywhere else.

He gets into the elevator, hoping that their client is also late and he won't have to hear a long talk from Kaz. When the doors open he immediately sees Nina carrying a bunch of coffees just like him, coming from the kitchen.

She arches her eyebrows when she sees him. "Late again, uh. Kaz is going to kill you."

"I'm not that late." He says, but he doesn't even need to look at the clock to know that he's two hours late.

She eyes the coffees on his hands. "I see everyone is gonna have a little bit of a coffee problem tonight. Okay, get in."

He looks at the room she's pointing to, and that's when he sees that the open door is for their main reunion room, the room that they almost never use, except for very important clients. Like that time the richest man in the world in 2017 came to them asking for help getting rid of the leaked nudes of his daughter - now he's only in sixth place. Because that's what they do, help bury scandals and prevent crises, kind of like superhero work, expect most of the time they're helping the villains.

He looks back at Nina with wide eyes. "Who is this client?"

Nina smirks. "Well, get in and you'll see."

So he does. There are six other people in the room. Kaz is at the head of the table, standing with his cane and pointing at the whiteboard they sometimes use; Inej, their spy, is leaning against the window, looking at the sky outside; Matthias, the last member of their crew and their security, is standing on the other end of the table, arms crossed and ready to intervene at a moments notice, he's next to a guy in a suit that seems to be the bodyguard of their client. But the interesting people are the one sitting down, and Jesper recognizes them immediately. The Crown King and the Prince of Netherlands.

"Nice of you to join us Jesper." Kaz says when he sees him.

For a second he can't move, they've had high clients before, like billionaires, A-list actors and an odd member of the church, but this is their first royalty. Nina pokes him on the back to get him moving, so he sits down on the first chair he sees - the one right in front of the Prince - and puts the coffees on the table.

"I was getting everyone some coffee. Got your favorite Kaz." He gives him a nice smile and he can see the gleam of excitement in Kaz's eyes, Inej rolls her eyes from where she's still standing, she's always harder to bribe.

"Can we keep going, please, I don't have all day to waste." The King Van Eck commands.

"Of course, Your Highness." Kaz says with a tightness in his voice, and Jesper suppresses a smile. "This is Jesper, my best hacker, now that he's here it won't take us long to resolve this problem, I'm sure."

The King looks at him with bored eyes. "If you say so." He says with contempt. "Just remember, I'm paying you a lot of money."

"My weight in gold still wouldn't be a fair trade for the quality of our work." He gives a small nod as if he'd said something pleasantly.

Van Eck sneers. "Very well, then I must be lucky."

Jesper drinks his coffee to stop himself from making any noise. If he knew he would be having coffee with the Royalty he would have come to work early, even while hangover. He can't imagine how much fun it must have been while they waited for the King to show up. Among their group, only Matthias and Inej have any kind of respect for the Royalty - Matthias because he thinks they have the right to power, and Inej because she will respect everyone except rapists and cold-hearted killers.

He thinks that their time is long gone, the Van Ecks don't do anything good, only take their money and use it for parties and to pretend to do good work while behind the scenes exploiting people. If he wasn't a professional he would say no to helping them, but then this way he will be able to know about the scandal.

He looks at the two people in front of him. The Prince of Netherlands is only 19 years old, some kind of nerd math genius, so boring Jesper doubts he even swears. He bets the King is the one in the middle of a scandal. Maybe his young pregnant wife wants a divorce, or the DNA test showed the baby wasn't his, or their four years old kid was kidnapped. He shudders at that thought, as much as he hates royalty, he hopes nothing bad happened to the little princess.

At this moment Kaz gets the coffee from his hand. "Are you listening to me?"

"Uh, sure?" He doesn't even need to look at the King to know he's judging him. "You said something about leaked pictures and me needing to hack an email. I can do it." He shrugs.

Kaz huffs. "The pictures were sent to the email of one of the staff of the King, the security there already looked into it, but they weren't able to find anything."

That's when Kaz putts a computer in front of him and his eyes widen. The message in the email is very simple:

**Pay 5M by midnight, next week, Saturday, or those pictures and more are going to be sent to newspapers all over the world.**

The pictures were the ones that caught his eyes. On it, the Prince of Netherlands was seen in the middle of a sweaty make-out session with a person who couldn't be mistaken for anything but a man.

"Is this in a library?" He chokes out, unable to control his amazement.

"Stop admiring the pictures and tell me how soon do you think you can find out who did it."

The kid in front of him coughs and for the first times Jesper really looks at him, his face is redder than his red hair and he seems to be trying to merge himself with the chair, his eyes stuck on his wrist-watch like it contains the secrets of the universe.

"The email and the bank account were dead ends right?" Kaz nods. "Give me 24 hours."

The King for the first time looks impressed and the boy risks a look at him, looking back down after Jesper winks at him. It's amazing what hidden depths can do to a person, five seconds ago he hadn't even looked twice at the kid, now… he's intrigued.

"You have a certain… Reputation." Van Eck says to Kaz. "And that's why I came here, I want the best discretion possible. Of course, our contract assures this, but don't doubt I won't ruin everything you owe if you betray me, Bekker." Kaz says nothing as the King gets up from his chair and points to the board Jesper hadn't read before. "There's only one viable option here." He turns to his son with a disdain that makes Jesper frown. " _Can_ you understand Wylan?"

The Prince's head flies up and he looks at his father. "Yes, Sir."

On the board there are three things written, each of them in a circle: 'pay', 'come out' and 'find out'. The king crosses the first two.

"I will only pay you after this criminal is in jail, and the pictures and whatever else he has," he pauses to look at Wylan, "have been destroyed. Before this, no money. Any new developments, you come to me immediately."

After saying this, he leaves. His son stays in his chair for two seconds before he gets up and follows him, pausing only to thank them.

"What a nice reunion." Jesper says when he knows it's safe.

"I wish I had never met the King." Matthias sighs, sitting down.

"Did he shatter your illusion of the perfection of royalty?" Nina asks.

Matthias rolls his eyes. "I never thought they were perfect, only that it made sense for them to rule. But the way he treated his son." He shakes his head.

"It wasn't that bad." Jesper starts, but Nina interrupts him.

"You weren't here earlier, but when he got here he made this whole speech on morals and the proper conduct of respectable people and how the Royalty is pretty much the most respectable people that are. He wasn't even saying all this to us, it was to his own son. When he started comparing getting caught kissing another boy to pedophilia though, that's when I left to get coffee, I couldn't hear it anymore."

Jesper eyes the laptop in front of him, the pictures of the Prince pressed against a bookshelf staring at him.

"If it wasn't for the Prince's life on the brink of being ruined, I would vote against helping them." Inej says, but Jesper knows that's not strictly true, short for cruel murderers and rapists they help everyone, this wouldn't be the first bigot they've helped, not even the first one this month and they're only a week in.

He looks at Kaz, expecting to hear him talk about how "money is money", but finds him looking at the board, his eyes fixed. Jesper's eyes cross with Nina's.

"Is this-?" She starts.

"Scheming face." He nods.

Kaz seems to remember they're all in the room and looks back at them. "Well, don't you all have work to do? Jesper, I remember you saying you could find the blackmailer in 24h."

Jesper gets up and gives a salute. "Fear not boss, I was being pessimist saying 24h."

"Like you're ever pessimist." Nina mutters.

"I don't really have a reason to." He smiles at her and then gets the laptop and his coffee and goes to his office. They all have their rooms where they can take their own clients and even spend the night if they have too much work - like today might be.

He sits on his desk and looks at a picture of him, his father and his mother from more than ten years ago. For one second the thoughts that he spent the night trying to get rid of are back. He thinks of their family and then he looks at the scandalous pictures of the Prince in front of him.

Even with all the complications and history between him and his father after his mom died in a shooting, he knows, - at least most days - that his father loves and would do anything for him. Loving too much is the answer to most of his problems (doesn't matter what his therapist says). He can't imagine what would be like to live in an open war with his father.

His father accepted him when he came out as bisexual and accepted him when he admitted that he was an addict. His father was the only constant in his life, he can't help but sympathize with the little prince.

He cracks his knuckles and gets to work. If he can make the Prince's life easier by helping him get rid of these pictures, he will do everything he can.

 

* * *

 

The drive back to the Palace of Geldstraat is one of the most claustrophobics of Wylan's life. His father doesn't say anything as they drive back, but the space between their sits feels like too much and at the same time not enough. He is aware of every bone in his body and every little sound and movement in the car as Bajan drives them back.

It had only been a couple of weeks since he left the palace to go back to his second year at the University of Amsterdam. At first, he was confused when he received the call asking him to go back home, but when he saw the email, he was horrified. The talk - if Jan screaming for one hour while Wylan listened could be considered a talk - that followed, about his posture and reputation, was the beginning of the non-stopping sermons he had to listen to for the past three days.

He pays attention to the landscape as they get farther from Amsterdam and before he knows it, the 30 minutes drive is over and he's home.

He tries to flee, but his father calls him as soon as they enter the palace.

"Wylan, a minute please."

He looks at Bajan, silently asking for help, but the driver shakes his head and head to the kitchen, so he gathers his courage and follows his father to his office.

When he gets in, Van Eck's already sitting at his desk. "Close the door please."

He looks back and his father is looking at him like he's intruding, not like he was the one to call him in.

"Do you see all the trouble _I_ had to get in to get you out of this mess? What do you have to say for yourself?" Before he can think of anything he continues. "Do you even think before doing anything? You're not a _commoner_ , your acts have consequences! Imagine what will happen if these pictures leak, our country might collapse, we might suffer a coup. But of course, you don't care. Everything always has to be about you. You were always trying to get my attention by doing these ridiculous acts. Well, I'm looking at you now, what do you want from me?"

Wylan stares at the wall as he feels his cheeks heat. On the wall, there are three pictures: one of his father and Alys at their wedding, one of him holding his daughter, Lynn, for the first time and one of the three of them from last spring, taken while Wylan was at college. Anyone looking at it wouldn't guess that his father was married before, or that he had a 19 years old son.

"So? Don't you think you're a little too old to still be doing this? When are you finally going to grow up and start acting like the second in line to the throne?"

He finally looks at his father and feels calm enough to manage not to flinch at the look of disgust in his eyes.

"You know, sometimes I think it would be better if you just… disappeared." He says it like it's costing him to utter these words, but he has to do it anyway. "You're too soft, too weak. This world will eat you alive when the time comes. I think you would be happier living somewhere you could be…" He flails his hand around. "As flamboyant as you would like." He pauses and sighs, giving Wylan a pitying look. "Think about it son, it's for your best."

This time he does flinch. He can't remember the last time his father called him son. He stays in place as his father goes back to his work.

"Close the door after you leave." He says and Wylan gets up from his chair and walks out, numb.

Maybe his father is right this time, he can't tell anymore. His father has told him so many lies, but he also tells the truth. It's easier for him to tell them apart when he's living half an hour away, in a place that's only his. It's easier then, to know that he's smart and that it isn't wrong to be gay.

But now, in the middle of this crises, he can't think his father would lie. Above everything, he knows his father always has the interest of the country in his mind, he wouldn't put it in jeopardy.

Before he can think more about it, someone else calls his name.

"Wylan!" He turns and sees Alys coming to him. "Oh, I'm so glad you're finally back, let's take a walk."

She intertwines their arms and starts pulling him towards the back garden. As far as he knows, his father hasn't told her about the pictures of him kissing another man, he doesn't even think she knows he's gay.

"I'm so bored all the time. I can't wait until Lynn is older and we can do big girl things like doing our hair and nails together, it's going to be so much fun! But now she only wants to play and I'm too old - I mean, too mature - to be playing house. You should play with her sometime. I'm not sure why you're back so soon, but she will love it, she loves you. You know she has been obsessing over flutes lately-"

He was right, she doesn't know anything, it's too humiliating to his father to tell her these things. If Wylan can't even tell people from his own family, how can he tell the world? Does he want to spend his life lying about it? But what other choice does he have? Maybe he would be happier away from all this.

But then he thinks of his baby sister. She's only his half-sister, but he's known her for all her life. He carried her when she was only two days old, he even reads to her his favorite books and plays his favorite songs. He doesn't want to leave all this behind. His sister, his memories, his life at college, the friends he made for the first time in his life. But maybe, leaving it all behind is the only way to assure he has a future that he will want to live for.

Alys shakes his arm and he looks at her, noticing they're already at the stable. "Are you even listening to me?" She pouts.

"Of course I am." He feels his cheeks flush and she laughs.

"You teenage boys, don't even have time to listen to the complaints of a pregnant woman." She says with exasperated fondness. "Help me sit down."

He helps her and then goes to where his white mare, Maya, is, to pet her.

"I was telling you about the sex of the baby. It's a boy!" He stops and turns back to Alys.

"A boy?"

"Yes! We are so happy. I mean, I would like if it was a girl again, maybe this time we would get to name it Plumje like I wanted in the first place, but Jan is so excited I can't help but be happy too."

A boy. "When did you find out?"

"Last month. I wanted to tell you immediately, but your father wanted to tell you in person." Her face gets guilty. "Oh, I hope he's not mad at me, he wanted to have some kind of men talk with you." She giggles.

He swallows and turns to his mare. Maybe now his father will finally have the perfect son he always wanted, a son who can read perfectly and speak without mumbling. A son who's not gay and not soft in all the ways his father always hated. Maya neighs and butts her head in his hand until he pets her. If he had tried harder maybe he could have been the man his father wanted him to be.

"I need to go." He tells Alys and leaves without waiting for an answer.

He knows the palace better than anyone else, with how much time he spent exploring when he was a kid. It should feel like home, but instead, it feels like a jail.

In the library, he sees the place his father broke his flute after he couldn't read to him aloud a passage from a book, and the place he was sitting when his father told him his mother had left because of him. In the kitchen he sees himself going back down at night to find something to eat after being told to go to bed before dinner. In the dining room, he can see all the fancy dinners he had to attend and how he embarrassed himself and humiliated his father each time. The music room and his bedroom are tainted by him practicing and studying, thinking that if he was good enough at music and math his father could love him.

He doesn't think he can remember ever being happy here. But that's not true. He was the one that ruined everything to everyone. He sits down on his desk chair and thinks of all the mistakes he made - with his family, in school, in his personal life.

If he had hidden better his preferences, he wouldn't be in the mess he's in now. How could he be so careless as to kiss another man in a public library when he wasn't out yet? Screaming that he's gay at the top of a building would be less dangerous. It was only a question of time before that happened, with him flaunting his preferences around like that.

He should have been more careful. At this moment there's very little he wouldn't give for a chance to go back in time. But living in another city makes him forget all the dangers. Kissing Raphael, his tutor, in the university's library, he felt freer than ever. Of course, he couldn't know that was the action that would throw him back in jail.

He looks down at his wristwatch and brushes it. He might feel like he knows the truth when he's away from his father, he might feel freer, but so far that hasn't gotten him anywhere. He's more stuck than ever. Distance doesn't make him distinguish things, only allows him to delude himself.

At that moment his phone vibrates and he sees four new notifications from a number he doesn't know.

**Tomorrow at 7.**

**The Slat.**

**Come alone.**

**The Dregs.**

He frowns. He doesn't remember telling them his number, but maybe his father had done it. But why did they want him to go alone? Without his father? He doesn't answer anything, but he decides to go. He needs to do everything he can to fix his mistake. He doesn't want to ruin anyone else's life like he knows his tutor will be ruined if anyone ever finds out about this.

He looks back to the message and he wonders who sent it. Was it their leader, Kaz? Or that silent girl, perhaps the strong guy, or, he blushes at the thought, the late guy.

Jesper, he thinks, was his name, came late and immediately broke the tension of the meeting, letting Wylan breath for the first time in the two hours of being humiliated in front of strangers. He sat right in front of him and for a moment Wylan forgot where he was and he caught himself admiring the perfect shape of his lips and his long fingers as he distributed coffee to everyone.

He was so casual about the whole thing, for the first time Wylan felt embarrassed for being caught kissing someone in a public place, and not the shame and humiliation for dishonoring his country. For a second it didn't seem to matter that the person he was kissing was a boy and not a girl.

And then his father put him back in his place.

He puts his phone on the table and goes to sit on his bed. Thinking about that boy makes his mind clear again. Other people can see it too, that there's nothing wrong with what he did. He knows he shouldn't have done it in the library, especially when he's a public person, but it still wasn't a crime.

"Father lies." He says aloud. And then repeats it a couple more times for good measure. This time, he won't let his father win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilery warnings: I mean, if you read the book the violence here is tame, almost non-existent, but there are some slapping and broken nose, plus some physical violence by a parent. None of it in this chapter though.
> 
> Phew. It's been years since I last published anything, I have a tendency of writing stories and never getting to the editing part, but this is done so, enjoy!
> 
> If you like this story you can reblog [this post](http://my-honeydukes.tumblr.com/post/175458801198/upholding-by-sterekristmas-jesper-still-hasnt) on tumblr
> 
> Next: The investigation starts!


	2. Peace and Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The investigation starts!

On the next day, Wylan wakes up early and leaves before anyone else is up. He gets back to Amsterdam and wanders around the city, the sun not even out. When it's half past six, he decides to go to the Barrel to see if it's open yet.

The building is impressive. When he came yesterday he didn't pay much attention, but it's a sleek skyscraper with a nice view of the city. He gets in the elevator and pushes the last number. The time it takes to get there is enough for him to doubt himself. He isn't so sure anymore he should be here without his father, but the doors open inside the office and he can't go back without feeling dumb.

He steps a foot in the Slat just as someone is coming out of the kitchen carrying a mug. Only in briefs. Jesper shouts when he sees him.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I thought it was open!" He turns around as he feels his cheeks heat.

"Mother Mary and Jesus, you scared me." And then he starts laughing. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I was walking around and decided to see if it was already open, but I can go back-"

"Oh, no need. You're only 20 minutes early. Kaz is gonna have an orgasm when he sees you, he loves punctuality. You can turn back."

He does. Jesper is smirking at him, now wearing a robe. "Do you all live here?" He asks.

"Only when we have an emergency."

He feels himself pale when he remembers why he's here. "Did you find out who did it already?"

"Not yet, but I'm close. The little fucker knows how to protect himself more than I thought he would." He smirks. "Can I swear in front of the Royalty or does it offend your sensibility?"

"I swear too." He mumbles.

"Well them Your Royal Princeness, can I offer you anything? Maybe take your…" He scrunches his nose. "Satchel?"

"No, I'm fine." He says, holding his satchel closer to his body, but then he eyes the mug in Jesper's hand. "Is that coffee?"

"Oh yes, here in the Slat we have a high selection of beverages for your preference. Coffee, tea, energetic drinks, even chocolate milk. The last one Nina's choice."

"Tea would be nice."

Jesper gives him a bow. "Coming right up."

He follows him into the kitchen. Is bigger then he imagined and from the state of it, a feast was eaten recently. Bottles, containers, plates, and glasses are all over the place. Jesper gets some of the coffee machine's boiling water and puts in a mug for him with black tea; when he turns around he seems surprised to see him.

"You need a bell around you. It must be those Princeling light feet."

For some reason, he feels himself blush as he accepts the mug. "Thank you." He murmurs.

"Anytime." Jesper says, quiet for a change, his eyes on him.

They go back to the living room and the quiet woman, Inej, he thinks, is stretching. She blanches when she sees him.

"You're already here." She pauses and then gives a little bow. "Your Highness."

He feels his face heat again. "There's no need for that. You can call me Wylan."

Inej doesn't seem sure, but then the other members of the Dregs arrive from another room that he didn't go in yesterday.

"Good, you're already here." Kaz says, he seems pleased and Wylan risks a glance at Jesper to find him already looking at him, grinning. "Jesper, how much longer do you think it will take to find the blackmailer?"

"Maybe three more hours?"

"Oh, I don't need to be pessimistic." The curvy girl he thinks is called Nina says in what he thinks is a Jesper imitation.

"Shut it, Zenik." Jesper rebates.

Kaz rolls his eyes. "Okay, let's get this over with. Prince Wylan, follow me."

"You can call me Wylan." He says as they go through yet another door, he can see at least five other doors and he wonders what's in each one of those.

Kaz turns around and studies him. "Don't mind me if I do then."

They're in a room that only has one small table and two chairs facing each other. It feels like an interrogation room.

"Sit, please." Kaz says as he sits in one of the chairs. The rest of the group linger around, facing him.

He doesn't want to sit down, but he feels like he doesn't have much of a choice, so he does. He wants to gnaw at his nail, but he knows from numerous talks from his father, that's a good way of showing how uncomfortable and weak he is, so instead, he holds both of his hands.

"What exactly do you want to talk to me about and why did I need to come alone?"

"You asked him to come alone?" Nina inquires.

"We need some answers and this conversation can't be interrupted." Kaz watches him. "So, you didn't even bring a bodyguard? Or is he outside?"

He shrugs. "I don't really have a bodyguard. Unless I need to, like at events and travels." He sees the surprise in some of the others faces, but Kaz's keeps unperturbed.

"Okay, so who knows about your… kissing preferences?"

His heart thrums in his chest, this is what he was expecting. "Only my father and the people I've kissed. And Kuwei."

"The prince of China?" Jesper asks.

"Yeah, we're sort of friends."

"What about your step-mother?" Kaz keeps going.

"She doesn't know."

"And the palace employees?"

He frowns. "Maybe some of those, but I wouldn't know who. You should ask my father, he probably has a list of everyone who knows so he can bribe them." He mumbles.

Kaz arches his eyebrow. "All right, I will. Now, besides the person in the picture, who else have you kissed."

He feels himself getting red. "Maybe five other people."

"Maybe?"

"For sure."

"Okay, I need the names of everyone and all the information you can give me of them."

"I don't think any of them was responsible." He defends. "It was probably a random person."

"That library _is_ known for the good spots to make out with people." Jesper says.

Kaz ignores them. "The blackmailer implied that he had more, do you have any idea what else he could have?"

"No."

"Did you do anything else public that day?"

"No!"

"Than it's possible that he was following you, and wasn't a casual bystander. Jesper still hasn't found him, he planned this through."

"Yeah man, and I'm the best. They even call me Sharpshooter."

"No one calls you Sharpshooter." Nina says, exasperated.

"I still don't think it was anyone I know." He says to Kaz.

"Good thing thinking is not your job, then." He then gets up. "Inej, I need you. Nina and Jesper, continue questioning him."

Jesper and Nina fight for the free chair and Jesper wins, he turns back to Nina with a big smile. "Better luck next time."

"Everything is a competition to you."

"You know me so well." Jesper says. "Well now Your Princeness, prepare to have your soul cracked right open by us."

Nina sees his apprehension. "Don't worry, we'll only ask what we need to solve this."

But he's not ready for more questions yet, he's not ready to talk about his romantic and sexual life and discuss all his personal relationships and if he thinks any of them would betray him. So he talks first.

"Did you ever help a member of the royalty before?"

"No, you're our first. We should take a picture with you and put it on a wall or something." Jesper answers.

"Yes, because the clients will love for everyone to know they have been here." Nina rolls her eyes.

"And what do each of you do exactly?"

"Inej and I are the secret keepers." Nina says. "We can be in places no one else can and find things no one does."

"I'm the hacker." Jesper wiggles his fingers. "Kaz is the one with the ideas."

"And Matthias there." Nina points at him. "Is the security. He's always protecting us." She sends him a kiss, he rolls his eyes, but Wylan can see his lips turning up a little bit.

"Do you need a place so big for this?"

"You live in a castle." Jesper says.

"Palace." He mumbles.

"Well, this our own palace. We have three main reunion rooms." He shows around the room. "And each of us has our offices."

"Of course there's the kitchen." Nina continues.

"And the bathroom."

"The TV room."

"The pool room."

"The sex room."

"The interrogation room."

"Isn't this the interrogation room?" He asks before he can stop himself.

Jesper nods. "Look at you getting all perceptive."

He blushes. "So what was the biggest scandal that you ever solved?"

Nina and Jesper look at each other. "That kidnapping maybe?"

"Or that sex tape." Jesper nods.

"Oh, that sex tape case was so fun!"

"You guys are horrible." Matthias shakes his head.

"You only say this because you weren't a member at the time or you would have thought so too." Jesper shoots back.

"You do know that he's trying to stall right?" Matthias asks.

"Of course not." Jesper says at the same time Nina says. "Obviously."

Jesper looks at him. "Oh, you little sneaky bastard."

"I'm actually curious about this." He rushes to say.

"And I'm curious about who's the person you're kissing in those pictures." Jesper asks.

He sighs. "My Tutor."

"And does he know about this?" Nina wonders.

"No."

"And is he… your boyfriend?" Jesper suggests.

"No, just-" His face already feels hot. "A friend."

"Ah, friends with benefits then." Jesper nods.

"Jesper!" Matthias grits out. "You can't suggest our Prince has a friend with benefit."

"But it's what it is! Unless he's actually your boyfriend?" Nina pushes Jesper out of the chair and sits in before he can.

"Ignore him. So, for how long have you two known each other?"

"I met him in my first semester. We've been hooking up since then." He says to the table, fighting through his urge to flee.

"What about Prince Kuwei?" Nina asks.

"I told him when we were 15 maybe? He wouldn't tell anyone."

"Alright hot stuff, time to start talking about your very first kiss." Jesper starts, resting his arm on the table while kneeling on the floor and looking at him.

 

His stomach rumbling finally buys him a break from all the questions. They all go to the kitchen were Nina gets them waffles. He's feeling scrubbed raw, no one else in the world knows more about him and his sex life now than these people. It makes him feel robbed of something. His right to choose who to tell things or even the opportunity to do so.

And then there's also Jesper, it seemed like his goal was to make Wylan blush as much as possible. He was always saying the most inappropriate stuff, winking and smiling, like they were long-lost friends. He wasn't sure why Jesper was doing it. Was this the way he was, or did he have an agenda? Did he think Wylan was an easy catch? He shakes his head, now he sounds paranoid like his father.

He looks over at were Jesper and Nina are staging the moment they told the French president their wife was having an affair, he tries to pay attention, but then Kaz comes into the room.

"Is the case over?" He asks.

"No, we-" Nina starts

"Then why are you all joking? Go back to work."

They all get up to leave and Wylan starts to follow them when Kaz stops him.

"I need to speak with you."

"Kaz, we need him for questioning." Jesper says.

"He can find you later. Find another way to be useful." Jesper rolls his eyes and leaves the room.

Kaz studies him again.

"What?" He asks.

"Your father knows you're here?"

"No." He doesn't know what makes him keep speaking, but he can't stop himself. "We don't tell each other everything we do."

"So did he just found out about your kissing habits?"

"I'm gay." He says and he feels his eyes widen, he never said it aloud like this. Of course, it was implied when he had sex with other men, but even then he always avoided labels. "You don't need to keep skirting around the word." Kaz says nothing, but the frown in his mouth seems less present. "And he already knew. He saw me kissing a boy when I was 16." That he wasn't happy about it was a fact, they all heard his father's words yesterday.

"I hear you're having a brother." Kaz changes the subject and Wylan frowns.

"How did you hear it? I was only told yesterday."

"Really?" Now Kaz seems interested. "A little spider told me. I didn't know it was a secret."

"A surprise." He denies, but it feels like a lie.

Kaz hums. "Alright then, you can go find the others."

He doesn't need to be told twice. He doesn't know what Kaz meant by that talk, but he feels weird. He feels… lighter.

He gets in the room and Jesper is sitting in his chair, drumming his fingers on the table while Nina sits in front of him, Matthias nowhere in sight.

"Princeling!" Jesper smiles at him. "I thought you didn't want to come back to intrusive questions."

"And miss your jokes?" He rebates.

"True, I should win a title for that."

"Yes." Nina agrees, mock-serious. "Or a medal: You Tried."

"Or, Did You Even Try?" Wylan teases back.

"Or the medal: Jesper Fahey Is So Good He Should Be A King."

Wylan laughs. This feels nice. Bantering with Nina and flirting with Jesper. It doesn't feel like working or trying to save his reputation, it feels like making friends.

 

* * *

  
Jesper is so close he can feel it. His fingers fly across the computer and he doesn't even think he's blinking. His heart pounds faster and he feels like laughing. He loves his job. The trilling and excitement of solving a problem are things he doesn't feel anywhere else. Is the enlightenment of being good at something, of feeling useful.

When Kaz found him deep in debts he thought he had hit rock bottom, - of course, he would find out that he could always dig himself a little deeper - so he promised himself he would never play a game of cards again. That didn't immediately happen, and a big reason why was because he was sad. He thought he would never find anything that could make him as happy as gambling. So every time something went wrong in his life, he found an excuse to go back to the cards, after all, he was good at it.

Only now he can see that he was never that good at cards. The 100.000 debts he accumulated should have been a clue, the pathological lying should have been a clue. But only being good at something like he is at hacking made him see that he was shit at blackjack all along.

Wylan had left half an hour ago, back to whatever prince duties one has. Thinking about him makes Jesper smile, the Prince was a lot more fun than he thought he would be. He has to give credit to someone whose romantic life consists mostly of members of the nobility.

So he's torn. He wants to do his job, but he would also like more time with the princeling. He knows it's unlikely he will ever see him again after this is over, and that's a shame because he would love to see what else Wylan is hiding inside his head.

For some reason, it also feels like Kaz would like to spend some time with Wylan. In situations like these, they would be reporting to Van Eck, not Wylan. The person that pays them is the one that matters, not the one involved in it, even if they're the victim. Kaz must know something that he's not sharing. As always he likes to keep secrets until he can't anymore, only Inej, his girlfriend, knows whatever he's planning.

He's thinking about taking a break to get some coffee when he finally finds it. He hacked into the computer of the Prince's Tutor and he sees in it a folder full of pictures of them, like the ones in the library, and even a video.

"Son of a bitch." He says aloud.

The Tutor was the more obvious suspect, but Jesper wanted to believe Wylan was right in his blind trust of the man.

He gets his laptop and goes find Kaz. He's in their library, reading a book while Inej is searching for another at their shelf.

"What happened?" Inej asks when she sees him, and he knows his face must look grim.

"I found the pictures."

"Who-?" Inej asks.

"The Tutor."

Kaz's eyes flash. "Only the pictures of the library?"

"No. Of other days too and-" He gulps. "A video."

Inej freezes from where she's taking a book out of a shelf. He knows she has some history that involves sex, but he doesn't know the details.

"Did you watch it?" Kaz asks.

"Of course not!" He states.

"Why not? You need to."

"I can't betray Wylan's trust like this."

"You didn't betray his trust Jesper, that Tutor did. We need to know exactly what is in this video so we can prepare ourselves."

"Then you can watch it."

Kaz gets up. "I'm telling you to watch it. Matthias!" He says loudly and Matthias comes in. "We have somewhere to go. I want to know everything the Tutor has by the time we come back, I meant it Jes." And then he leaves, a confused Matthias following.

"Should I do it?" He doesn't know if he's asking himself or Inej.

"There's a lot of things we shouldn't do in this job, but we do them anyway. It's a choice we made and we have to live with it." Inej answers. "I'm gonna leave you alone." She closes the door as she leaves.

So he puts the laptop on a table and goes back to work. At first, he looks at other folders and places the Tutor could have something else hidden, but it quickly seems clear that everything he has is only in one place, so he goes back to the folder and looks at the pictures. He takes notice of how many different days they are from and where were the pictures taken, and if someone else needed to be there.

When he can't stall anymore, he starts the video. He doesn't need to wait much longer to see that it's exactly what he thought it was, a sex tape. He makes the video as small as possible so he can pay attention to what he needs, without really watching it. He knows that doesn't make it better, but he has always been good at ignoring his conscience. This is still a job after all and he knows how to do his job.

 

He can't sit still. Jesper's been pacing around the room for one hour, waiting for Kaz and Matthias to come back, and so far, nothing. Usually, after a job is done, he feels like his energies are spent and he can finally relax, but now he feels jittery and dangerous like he could do something reckless. He should stay at his father's house after work, or at the Slat. He doesn't think he can trust himself tonight.

The elevator makes a sound and he lifts his head up to see Kaz and Matthias dragging a man who's tied and unconscious. In the man's head, there's a bruise he knows matches Kaz's cane perfectly.

"What's he doing here?" Nina inquires.

"He didn't want to collaborate, so we brought him in for a little vacation." Kaz says and he leaves Matthias to carry him, who's apparently making sure the Tutor hits his head on every wall. "He was hiding at his mother's house, which was a dumb move. It would be a lot harder to bring him here from the busy school campus than from his mother's house."

"Did you find anything at his house?" He asks Kaz.

"We got his computer, camera and some other things in the car."

"Than we're calling Van Eck?" Nina wonders.

"No. We make him talk, and only them we tell Van Eck. For now, stash him in the spare room."

The spare room is actually a cell. It doesn't have windows or any weapons in it. They have only used it twice.

"This is going to be fun." He says as he helps Matthias bring the man to his future room, he's going to love making him feel at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story you can reblog [this post](http://my-honeydukes.tumblr.com/post/175458801198/upholding-by-sterekristmas-jesper-still-hasnt) on tumblr
> 
> Next: Kaz schemes.


	3. Whither the Fates Carry Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaz schemes

The next day, Jesper wakes up with screaming. He feels half-dead as he gets up to see where the noise is coming from. He finds out it's from the room where they stashed the Tutor.

Jesper ended up sleeping at the Slat last night, curious to see if the Tutor would end up speaking, but no luck. They tried to make him, but he didn't open his mouth, only told them he would call the police as soon as he could, - shutting up when they reminded him of the illegal videos he had made. They let him sleep without food to see if that would make him more open to dialogue and also stopped visiting him so he builds up tension and panic in his mind without they having to do anything.

In all the chaos of the day he only noticed when he went to bed that he had seen very little of Inej last night, he supposes she's trying to find something they can use as leverage. That's usually her job, spying on other people, seeing and hearing things that no one else does. He just doesn't know why it's necessary in this situation.

"What's going on?" He mumbles at the door of the Tutor's room.

Kaz and Matthias are trying to gag the man, who's trashing around, putting up a good fight, but finally, they manage it, Kaz gagging him and Matthias tying his hands behind his back.

"You could have kept your arms free if you hadn't tried to scream." Matthias shakes his head, disappointed.

"Are we questioning him again?" Jesper asks.

"No, we just don't want him making any noise when Wylan comes here." At that moment they hear the 'ding' from the elevator door opening. "Right on time." Kaz says, pleased.

"I thought we weren't telling the princeling."

"We're telling Wylan, we're not telling Van Eck." Kaz says and leaves the room. Jesper stops himself from pointing out that doesn't make any sense and follows him.

Wylan is sitting on the couch with Nina and Inej, he's carrying the same satchel as yesterday and that makes him look adorable, like a schoolboy. He looks up when they come in.

"Did you find out who did it?" He asks wearily.

Kaz studies Wylan for a second and then nods. Jesper sees the princeling holding his satchel tighter.

"Who was it?"

"Raphael." Kaz announces.

"What?" Wylan asks blankly.

"Jesper hacked into his computer and found those pictures and more."

"But- maybe someone hacked him and stole the pictures!" Wylan defends.

Kaz arches his eyebrow. "So you were aware that he was taking pictures of the two of you."

"I mean- no, but-"

"And you were aware of the sex tape he made."

"Sex-" Wylan paled so much Jesper got concerned.

"Yes, a video of the two of you having sex. So you were aware of that." Kaz says cruelly, they don't need to be a genius to know Wylan had no idea about any of this.

"Kaz-" Inej warns, but at that moment Wylan springs out of his seat. Jesper thinks he's going to leave, but he goes to the trash can and throws up. He winces in sympathy and Nina gets up and brings a towel to Wylan, who thanks her and sits down right there on the floor next to the trash can, his back to the wall and his hands holding his knees close to his chest.

"But are you sure of it? Just because he was…"

"A perv." Nina suggests.

"A maggot." Inej adds.

"And a son of a bitch." Jesper completes.

"Right. That still doesn't mean he did it."

This time Jesper is the one to roll his eyes. "I found the email. And on his apartment, he had already bought plane tickets while he hid in his mother's house. He did it."

Wylan touches his wristwatch absent-mindedly. "So what now? Why did you call me here alone again? It would have been better to call my father, he will want to throw Ra-Raphael in jail."

Kaz gets up from where he had sat in an armchair. "Jesper, why don't you help Wylan clean up and we will meet again in the reunion room?" He suggests and doesn't wait for an answer before leaving them.

Jesper frowns, but goes along with it, calling Wylan to follow him to his office.

"I have a spare toothbrush in my bathroom, you can use it. Do you need a change of clothes?"

Wylan pinkens. "No, thank you." He pauses. "So… did you watch it?"

Jesper doesn't need to ask what, he gets his phone from his pocket, checks the hour and then puts it back in. "Yes." He waits for the anger, but it doesn't come.

"Who else-?"

"Just me." He rushes to say. "I was trying to make sure it was really what we thought it was, but I understand you must be upset. If you want to throw me in jail and behead me, I won't oppose, although my father might be a little sad."

Wylan gives a weak laugh. "I'm not upset. It was my fault after all."

"Your fault..." Jesper echoes.

"Yes!" Wylan looks at him, his knuckles white from where they're pressing against his watch. "It was all my fault. I should have been more careful, maybe search the place for cameras. Definitely not kiss people in public places. God, I'm such a moron. Everyone knew he was the first suspect and I've been defending him. I've been worried sick about what might happen to him if this all blew up, asking my father to warn him. Father probably knew he was the one to do it, he was so against telling him-"

"I'm sorry, but that's bullshit." Jesper interrupts him. "None of this was your fault. Kissing people and trusting people are not crimes. Not in this country at least." He was the one exasperated with Wylan for trusting people blindly yesterday, but seeing the princeling blaming himself, he wants to make him feel better.

Wylan doesn't even seem to have heard him. "I'm the Prince. I have a dutty with my family and my country, I can't go around making stupid decisions. Everything I do have consequences." He states it like he's reading from a script, and Jesper can bet that he heard those same words from his father over and over.

He walks the short distance to Wylan and touches his shoulder. The boy startles.

"It wasn't your fault that a son of a bitch betrayed your trust and blackmailed you. There's no way anyone can twist this to make it your fault. It's very simple."

Wylan frowns and then nods. Jesper knows he isn't convinced, but hopefully what he said will stay somewhere in his brain in case he ever needs it.

"Do you want to see it?" He asks.

Wylan shakes his head. "I don't think so. Is it- what the place where it happens looks like?"

"It's a bedroom. Double bed, white walls." Wylan's face is blank. "There's a moon painted on the wall."

Wylan nods. "It's his place. We always went to my place except for this one time. I guess I know why now." He confides.

Jesper is so mad he wants to go into the room where the Tutor is and punch him in the face. But that would give his position away and Kaz doesn't seem to want Wylan to know it yet. There will be time for that later.

"I didn't really watch it." He tells him. "Just enough to be sure what it was."

"I don't wanna think about it. If someone had to watch it, I'm glad it was you."

Jesper sighs but decides to leave it at it. The boy can't see how wrong it is when his trust is betrayed by his friend, he won't see when it's broken by a stranger. "Go brush your teeth so we can go see what Kaz wants."

Everyone is expecting them when they get into the reunion room - this time is their most used one, smaller and less intimidating, all of them already sitting down, drinking and eating. Kaz gives him a meaningful look as they enter and he shrugs in response. When they sit down, Kaz starts.

"So, Wylan, you asked what now. Now, we kidnap you."

Wylan doesn't even startle, - he seems beyond his wits by now - only blinks. "What?"

Kaz explains. "We're going to keep stalling - I hear you're staying back at the palace?" Wylan nods. "Then you're going to tell your father you're going to be staying at your college apartment - which is not gonna be the case, you'll stay somewhere your father won't think to look - and then when we're close to the deadline we're going to tell your father you have been kidnapped by the blackmailer."

Wylan frowns. "Why?"

"You said you have been with the Tutor for more than a year, right?"

"Yes." Wylan mumbles.

"I need time to explore some options."

"You think he wasn't responsible for the blackmail?" Wylan asks hopefully.

"No, he did it. But I think he had someone else helping him, and we need to catch this person."

"Why not just ask him if someone was with him?" Wylan wonders.

Kaz shrugs. "He might not tell the truth. I don't like to rely on the words of criminals."

Wylan sighs, he looks from Kaz to Jesper and then back to Kaz. "Alright."

Jesper feels his eyebrows rise. He didn't think that would work, Kaz explanation doesn't make much sense.

"You can stay at my father's house princeling." He hears himself say instead.

Wylan blushes, but Kaz is the one to answer. "Good idea. There's no way Van Eck walks through that part of the city. Now everyone, go back to your work."

Jesper starts to go back to his office and he sees Wylan trailing after him.

"Why did you accept it?" He asks Wylan when they're alone.

He shrugs. "I don't know, I trust Kaz."

Jesper laughs. "You trust Kaz?"

"You work for him! You don't think I should trust him?"

Jesper pauses. "You can always trust Kaz to keep a deal, but you need to be very careful with your terms. Kaz could have been a lawyer in another life." He eyes Wylan. "Do you want to stay at my father's house? The offer stands, but you don't have to accept because of Kaz."

Wylan turns around to face his desk, but Jesper can see his ears going red.

"I would love to."

Jesper smiles. "Alright then. We can get some of your things and then we can go there."  


 

* * *

 

When night comes, he and Jesper say goodbye to the other members of the dregs and they walk to Wylan's apartment - which is not that far away.

"Do you really don't need a body-guard?" Jesper asks. "Don't people recognize you? It could be dangerous."

He shrugs. "When I go somewhere new people always stare, but after a while, they get used to it. Having no bodyguards makes me feel like I'm just another person, I can even forget I'm a prince and have duties, it's better in many ways then when I'm back home, surrounded by people always acting like I'm royalty, which a bodyguard would do." He only had a bodyguard until he was about 8, after that his father said he didn't see the need anymore.

"If I was the prince, I would have someone with me at all times. Carrying my things, buying me things, even carrying me."

"That's a good way to make the employees hate you." He comments.

"Well, then you fire them and hire another set."

He shakes his head. "That's horrible."

"Where's the fun in being a prince then?"

Wylan thinks about it. "I don't have to worry about money. You can travel to all those different places. And we always receive clothes for free."

Jesper shakes his head. "You have all this money and people still send things for free. But anyway, any celebrity has those things. What's something that only royalty has?"

He thinks of all the appearances and dinners and meetings he had to go to in his life. "The work." He declares.

Jesper laughs. "You could name a city after you, that would be cool."

"Who would want to name a city after me? Maybe a street."

Jesper smiles at him. "All in due time princeling. I know you're destined for greatness."

Wylan blushes. They keep talking the rest of the way, Jesper asking more questions about him and he trying to answer as honestly as he can. When they get in his apartment, Jesper looks around.

"So you live alone here?" He asks and Wylan nods, making Jesper whistle. "Another advantage, living alone in a nice apartment only on your second year at university." He shakes his head. "I came to the city to study when I was 14 and I lived in a crappy apartment with three other boys, it was traumatizing."

Wylan doesn't think his apartment is that fancy, - is more of a loft, with a big space and only another room for the bathroom - but something tells him to not say anything.

"Do you want to eat anything?" He asks the other boy.

"Sure." Jesper sits on the kitchen counter. "You know, you should have a cook working here, that would be nice."

"There's hardly space for that." He answers. He opens his refrigerator and opens some leftover food, but it's all stale. "We're gonna have to call for food."

"Let's get some pizza then. I'm paying because I want to be able to say I bought food for the Prince of Netherlands."

Wylan sits on the couch and turns on TV, opening netflix. "What do you want to watch?" He asks Jesper after the boy he finishes the call.

"Don't princes have access to a secret netflix of shows before their release?"

"No."

"What about watching The Crown?" Jesper wiggles his eyebrows, but Wylan only gives him a flat look. "Fine, have you watched Stranger Things?"

"No."

"Me neither, let's do it then. Nina has been telling to watch it for ages."

Jesper is someone who can't watch something quietly, he keeps a running commentary on everything that happens on the screen and by the time the food gets there he's already talking about adopting the kids. With their bellies full and feeling relaxed, they don't feel like packing Wylan's things and going to Jesper's dad's house at this hour.

"We can spend the night here." Jesper says as he walks around his bedroom area, looking at his things.

He feels self-conscious as Jesper looks at his drawings.

"You're really good." He says.

"I had a lot of tutors." He says, depreciatingly.

"You play the flute?" He asks, picking up his flute.

"A little."

"How did I never know this. All those hidden talents." Jesper shakes his head.

"None of that matters, it's only a hobby."

"My hobby was playing cards until I lost all my money, so I say, keep it up."

Jesper is now in front of his bookshelf. He only has one that he has started recently buying books for, but it still makes him nervous, seeing Jesper looking so casually at something that caused him so much pain.

"Big of a reader, eh?"

Wylan feels his heart beating faster, this is another thing he hides from people. Apart from his father and his school, no one else knows, but he feels like telling Jesper now. He doesn't know what it is about these people that manage to get past all his barriers - maybe is the way they seem not judgemental - and make him tell them his darkest secrets.

"Not really." He starts. "No until recently at least." Jesper keeps looking at his books. "I'm- I'm dyslexic."

"Really?" Jesper turns to him. "And you still read all those books?"

Wylan tells his heart to calm down. "My whole childhood I could barely read a line, there was so much pressure-" He doesn't say from his father, but from the look on Jesper's face he doesn't think he needs to. "I used to memorize the books my parents would read to me." He picks up the copy of 'Goodnight Moon' that his mom used to read to him. "And then I would pretend I was reading to them. I still do it today, I'm terrible at reading things aloud, so I read the books I memorized to my sister."

Jesper looks impressed. "Is there anything you can't do?"

Wylan blushes, but smiles. "You're going to have to find that out."

Jesper arches his eyebrows. "Then we're gonna have to keep seeing each other until I do."

He picks up his copy of 'Twilight'. "This was the first long book I finished by myself. I kind of stole it from the library."

"Oh!" Jesper vocalizes. "Thievery! That's gonna make a fine headline tomorrow. First page all over the world. 'Prince Wylan of Netherlands steals a copy of Twilight from the local library."

"Do you need to say the name of the book in the headline?"

"Of course, reading this book is part of the crime."

"Anyway, I had to read some things for school, and I couldn't find the audiobook, I was so frustrated I picked up the first book I saw - which was Twilight - and threw it on the wall. When I went to pick it up later I just- I started reading it. Everything that I ever tried to read before felt like work, but this - no one wanted me to read it, so I suddenly could. I was really slow at first, even now I'm not fast, but at least I can read."

Jesper is smiling proudly at him and he feels good, lighter. He never told anyone of the progress he's made, not even his father, because he knows his father will ask him to read something aloud and he will get nervous and not be able to read anything and he doesn't want his progress taken away from him. For now, it's only his - his and Jesper's.

"C'mon, let's make some tea before bed." Jesper goes to his kitchen, feeling at home.

Now is his time to sit at the counter and watch as Jesper opens his cabinets, searching for the mugs.

"What do you think it's Kaz's- Kaz's plan." Wylan yawns. He hasn't been sleeping well for these pasts few nights, he feels like he could fall on the bed and only wake up after 12 hours.

Jesper turns to him and then back to the teapot. "I thought you trusted him."

"I do. Kind of. That doesn't mean I don't think he's planning something." He gnaws at his nail. "He said he needed more time, I wonder what for." They already know who did it, does Kaz have another suspect in mind? "Maybe he's looking for dirt on Raphael. He did say he didn't like to trust on the words of criminals. Although, dirtier than filming a-" He thinks the word 'nonconsensual' but it feels harsh. "A sex tape?

Jesper hums. "You can never tell what's going on Kaz's mind. Not even Inej can most days, and they're dating."

Wylan startles. "They're dating? Really? It doesn't look so."

Jesper laughs. "They're very professional, but believe me, they're dating."

"I thought something was going on between Nina and Matthias."

"Oh, there is. They're also dating. Although they're still in that disgusting phase where they sneak around all the time to make out."

Wylan feels his cheeks heat. "So you work with two other couples?"

Jesper turns to him and pours the boiling water in the mugs. "That's right. That leaves all the clients to me." He winks at Wylan, who swallows a mouthful of tea to hide his face, forgetting how hot it is and burning his tongue. Jesper laughs at him as he coughs.

"So." Jesper says after a while. "What are going to be the sleeping arrangements?"

"Hm." He blows at his tea. "There's the couch, but it's really hard, I wouldn't recommend."

"I do have a bad back." Jesper nods. "Spending all your time bent over the computer will do this to you." He wiggles his eyebrows.

Wylan coughs, he doesn't know how Jesper manages to make everything an innuendo. "Right. So we could always share the bed. It's a king bed anyway." He shrugs, totally casual.

"How very bold of you Princeling. I'm not sure my father will want me sleeping in the same bed with a man before even one date."

He keeps staring at the tea, pretending the warm in his cheeks comes from the heat. "You can always sleep on the floor, I hear is good for your back."

"Oh well, what my father doesn't know can't hurt him, right?" Wylan chances a look at him and Jesper winks his way.

"You're ridiculous." He mumbles.

After, they change clothes and settle in bed - Jesper ridiculous in pajamas too small for him. Wylan stares at the ceiling, taking in the absurdity of the situation. He can feel Jesper looking at him from where he's sprawled on his side, occupying more than his half of the bed.

After Jesper turns around a third time, he finally turns to him. "Will you stop."

"It's too early." Jesper says. "I can't sleep."

"It's almost midnight."

Jesper stares at him. "So."

He sighs. "Okay, go watch TV or something, then."

"But it's going to bother you, there are no walls here."

"You're bothering me now." Jesper touches his heart, pretending to be hurt.

"Princeling, how dare you. There's only one way to make up for that."

"What?" He asks wearily.

"We can play a game."

"No." He usually goes to bed earlier than this, and Jesper playing games is dangerous, it will probably make him electric instead of making him fall asleep.

"Just a strip game."

"No!"

"Okay, then-"

He covers Jesper's mouth with his hand. "You close your eyes and try to sleep, and I'll tell a story."

Jesper's eyes glimmers and he holds his wrist, pulling his hand away from his mouth. "One of the ones you memorized?"

"Sure." He starts with Goodnight Moon, but that's not enough to make Jesper fall asleep. So he keeps telling every story he knows and Jesper stays quiet, observing him. On his third story he realizes Jesper is still holding his wrist, but his eyes are starting to drop, so he doesn't move, not wanting to risk waking him back up, just keeps talking. He talks until his throat starts to hurt, keeps talking even after Jesper eyes fall shut, and until he can't keep his eyes open anymore and falls into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only after I finished writing this I realized they did Netflix and Chill. Literally. #relationshipgoals  
> Also, the chapters after this get a tad longer so... be excited?
> 
> If you like this story you can reblog [this post](http://my-honeydukes.tumblr.com/post/175458801198/upholding-by-sterekristmas-jesper-still-hasnt) on tumblr
> 
> Next: Wylan finds out what home can mean.


	4. By Caution and Consistency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wylan finds out what home can mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sick last week and that's why I didn't post a chapter, I wanna say I'm gonna be less busy now but no promises

Jesper wakes up hot. For a moment, he thinks he slept at Maddie's house again, but then he remembers what happened the day before with Wylan and work.

Before opening his eyes, he feels his surroundings. His nose is buried in a pillow, he can feel hair longer than his buzzcut sticking to his face, there's also the sound of soft breathing, and his legs are intertwined with someone else's under the covers.

He opens one eye and sees Wylan's face inches from his. His eyes are scrunched up and he seems to be saying something under his breath, for a few seconds Jesper just watches him, willing his sleepiness to go away.

He's so comfortable and warm he doesn't want to leave this bed ever. He doesn't remember the last time he slept so well, even though it's earlier than he normally wakes up.

He turns around - stretching carefully so to not wake Wylan up - and gets his phone on the bedside table. It's already 8 in the morning. When he turns back to Wylan he's squinting at him.

"Good morning princeling." He murmurs. The morning feels so soft, that speaking any louder could break it.

"-orning." Wylan answers, then he closes his eyes again and burrows himself further under the covers. "What did you do to me? I don't remember the last time I slept this much." He says, his voice muffled.

"I was going to ask the same thing. I don't remember the last time I slept a whole night. Not even woke up once." He moves his leg up and down Wylan's and, from the little bit of the boy's forehead that's not under the covers, he can see how much that makes him blush.

"I don't even remember falling asleep." Jesper says.

Wylan's eyes poke out from under the covers. "After the fifth story, you finally started snoring."

"Me? Snoring? That's just a bad lie." Wylan's eyes crinkle mischievously. Jesper knows he doesn't snore. He recorded himself once. "Your voice is magical princeling, I'm gonna have to record your voice so I can listen to it before bed every night. Or I'll just keep you instead."

Wylan turns around and gets up from the bed, his back to Jesper. "Let's have breakfast."

"Let's have it in bed!" He suggests.

Wylan looks back at him. "You're not going to get up unless I bring you food are you?"

"Nope." He smirks.

"Alright." Wylan rolls his eyes.

Jesper stretches until he hears his back crack and then he sets himself comfortably on the bed, watching as Wylan goes on with his morning routine.

The Prince spends some time in the bathroom and then he comes back and waters his plants. He drinks two cups of water - more than Jesper does his whole day - and only then he starts cooking. Before long the whole house smells like eggs and toast.

Wylan brings the food to him on the bed, almost letting it fall once, his face red by the time he reaches him. "Sorry, it's not much, a lot of my fresh food went bad."

"Oh, I don't mind. Most days I eat cereals or a banana. On the best days, toast and coffee, on the worst, just the coffee." He starts eating immediately. "This is delicious." He says with his mouth full.

Wylan reddens. "Is just eggs."

"I didn't even think the Prince knew what an oven looked like."

"I'm not pampered." He mumbles. "I always cook my food."

"Breakfast is not food."

Wylan looks at him indignantly. "I can cook food."

Jesper smirks, he loves making the princeling defensive. "Right." He teases.

"I'm serious."

"I'm gonna have to pay to see that."

"You will." Wylan's eyes gleam.

Jesper gets the toast from the Prince's plate and eats a bite of it before Wylan can slap his hand away. "There's toast on your plate." The boy complains.

"Yours is better."

"No, it's-" Wylan sighs and then he uses his spoon to eat Jesper's eggs.

"Awn, c'mon, I'm bigger than you, I need those eggs."

"Well, I'm still growing."

Jesper snorts. "Sorry to break it to you princeling, but no, you're not."

"You don't know that. I'm not 21 yet."

Jesper eyes him. "Maybe you could still grow half an inch."

"Both my mom and dad are tall people." He says and then he frowns.

"Maybe you didn't sleep as much as you needed as a child." He suggests, taking another bite of Wylan's toast, but this time, the boy doesn't even seem to notice it.

"I never had breakfast in bed before." Wylan says to his plate.

"Really? You never called service in your castle-"

"Palace."

"And asked for breakfast to be served on the bed?"

Wylan turns his food around. "My dad always liked everyone to eat food together, on the table, 'catching up'." He makes actual air quotations. "I guess I got used to it."

Jesper shakes his head. "You have a lot to learn, then, princeling."

Wylan hums thoughtfully and then gets up. "I'm gonna get my things so we can go." He turns to Jesper. "Do you really want me to stay at your father's house? If you don't, it's okay."

"Of course I want you to, that's my duty as your servant." Wylan frowns. "C'mon princeling, I like having you around, you're fun. And I still have a lot to teach you. Plus, my father will love to have you around."

"Okay, then." Wylan gives him a shy smile and then goes to pack.

He only gets a few changes of clothes and puts them in a suitcase. Then he gets his satchel and puts in it some small things like a pad, some pencils, and his flute; and then he turns to Jesper, who's only now getting out of bed.

Jesper changes into the same clothes from last night and turns to Wylan. "Let's go then." He texts Kaz, telling him he won't be going to work today and then he follows Wylan out of the door. "We should get a car, my dad's house is not in such a noble place so we would have to walk a little."

Living in a city like Amsterdam Jesper doesn't even own a car, his work is close enough to his house that he can go by feet, and when he needs to go to his father's house he gets his bike.

He hears the message alert on his phone and he unlocks it to see that Kaz answered him. He frowns at the message.

"What's wrong?" Wylan asks.

"Nothing." He says as he puts the phone back in his pocket. "I just texted Kaz to say I wasn't going to work today."

"You don't need to do that!" Wylan rushes to say and Jesper turns to see his flustered face.

"I know that, but I still wanted to. Anyway, Kaz didn't care. He has a way with words… If he wanted to threaten me into going back to work he would do it." He laughs at Wylan's shocked face. "It's all fun. Kaz is all bark, no bite. Well, mostly, at least." Kaz has never bitten him, but he remembers the days after Inej joined them, there were very feel people left unscathed then.

His father's house is very traditional. Three floors, tall and red, Jesper was the one that bought it for him after he almost ruined his father's life. His father moved closer to him and started a market.

They get there in less than 10 minutes and Jesper pays the uber before Wylan has the chance, not accepting his money after, and instead, going to ring the doorbell. He then gets in front of Wylan, hiding him behind his back as they wait. His father comes soon after and when he sees him, he opens a smile. "Jes! I didn't know you were coming. You should've told me, I was just about to go to work."

"Da, I have someone here with me, but I need you to be calm."

His father tries to look behind his back. "What's going on Jes, who is with you? Did you get in trouble again?"

Jesper sighs. "Always thinking the worst of me." He says, even though it's not true, his father always believes in him.

"What is it? Is it a girlfriend? A boyfriend?"

Jesper smirks. "Close." And then he steps aside and lets his father lay eyes upon Wylan.

His father's eyes bulge comically and he seems incapable of saying anything, while Wylan looks embarrassed - if from Colm's reaction or Jesper's comment, he doesn't know - and waves.

"Hi, Mr. Fahey." He says awkwardly.

And then Jesper's father bows. "Your- Your Highness!" He straightens up and turns to Jesper, pulling him inside the house. "Why do you have the Prince with you? What have you done this time, Jesper?" He whispers.

Jesper winces and frees his arm from his father. "Aren't you going to ask the Prince to come in? That's rude, da."

His father reddens. "Of course." He turns back to Wylan. "Your Majesty, you can come in."

Wylan is even redder than Colm and Jesper has to hold his laugh. "You can call me Wylan." He mumbles.

"Oh, no, I can't do that."

"Please da, just call the princeling Wy-" His father turns to him immediately.

"Jesper! You can't say things like this. That's not how I raised you. Calling the Prince 'princeling'."

"I don't mind." Wylan rushes to say. "And I insist on you just calling me Wylan."

His father still doesn't seem excited, but he nods. "Can I offer you anything?" He says as he leads them to the couch on the living room.

"No, thank you, we just had breakfast."

His father turns back to him at this. "And what are the two of you doing together?"

"It's work." That's all he needs to say, his father knows how his work is. "Wylan needs a place to stay and I offered your house."

Colm purses his lips. "This is not going to get me in trouble is it?"

"No." Wylan says before he can. "I promise this is not going to get you in any kind of trouble."

His father looks back at Jesper, but it's in Wylan's eyes that he seems to find the comfort he needs.

"Alright. Are you going to stay here too, Jes?"

"Of course." He goes back to smiling. "I even took the day off work, I'm going to be babysitting the prince."

"Jesper…" His father sighs, resigned.

"I don't need babysitting." Wylan says with almost a pout.

"Don't worry, this is going to be fun."

"Jesper, promise me you're not going to get… the Prince in any trouble."

"Don't worry da. He's only going to be here for a week, hardly enough time to get into trouble."

"I know you, son. You once got in trouble in a church."

"Well, that minister was asking for it."

His father shakes his head, but this time he looks fond. "I have to go to work now, please, behave, Jes. Prince." He gives Wylan a small bow and leaves before the boy can chasten him for it.

"Your father's nice." Wylan says softly.

Jesper feels unsettled with this comment, he takes his phone from his pocket and looks at the time. "Yes, Colm Fahey is a decent man. Now, princeling, we have the whole day to ourselves, what do you want to do?" At the blank look on Wylan's face, he elaborates. "What do you normally do on your day off? Go clubbing, watch a movie, have dinner with other members of the royalty?"

"I like to stay at home."

Jesper winces. "That can't happen here. Come." He takes Wylan's hand and pulls him to the back door, where they keep their bikes. "Let's take a stroll around the neighborhood."

Wylan inspects the bikes. "I can't do it."

"Oh, come on. With a helmet on, no one will even know you're the prince."

"No…" Wylan's face pinkens. "I can't ride a bike. I've never learned."

"What? You never learned?"

Wylan seems to hear the excitement in his voice because his head snaps up to him. "And I don't want to learn. I like keeping my feet on the ground."

"You just have to consider the tires your new feet."

"No, I- I tried learning it when I was a kid, but I would always fall and then my dad got impatient… I'm no good!"

"Lucky for you, I'm a very patient person."

"No you're not, you're always fidging. Let's go clubbing instead."

Jesper laughs. "It's not even 12 o'clock. Look, the weather is nice, perfect for learning how to ride a bike-"

"It's kind of cold."

"And the streets here are calm, no cars around."

"I would rather-"

"Everyone needs to learn how to ride a bike once in their lives."

Wylan sighs. "You're not gonna leave me alone are you?"

"You know me, I do enjoy some riding."

Wylan coughs and turns to the bikes. "You promise not to let go until I say so?" Jesper can see the back of his neck going completely red, he wonders how much of his body the blush can reach.

"Of course." He answers.

"All right then." They get the bikes and start walking towards the street. "I have a horse, back at home." Wylan says.

"So you do know how to ride something." He can't help himself, it's too delightful riling Wylan up.

"Her name is Maya." He powers through his blush. "She was my mom's horse."

He wants to ask what happened to his mom, but he doesn't think they're there yet, so he lets Wylan say what he feels comfortable sharing.

"I don't even know why I kept her, I think…"

"It makes you feel closer to her." He finishes and Wylan turns to him and nod.

They all remember the scandal when the King and Queen of Netherlands separated. It was a month of nonstop speculation, Jesper was only nine, but he still remembers it. And then Marya disappeared, the official statement was that she wanted to live a normal life, but she still saw Wylan constantly and they were all at peace. But from the look on Wylan's face, he doesn't know if that's exactly the truth.

He stops at an open enough space and rests his bike against another house. "Okay, first I will teach you, and then we can take a stroll around. The sky is the limit."

Teaching Wylan ends up being not an easy task, he's too scared and every time Jesper lets him go, he ends up falling, but with time he starts being more stable, only shaking a little bit.

"Alright, you only need to learn how to do curves now and you're set."

"I'm all bruised." Wylan moans as he gets down from the bike and sits on the street.

Jesper sits next to him and moves a sweaty curl from Wylan's eyes at the same time his stomach churns. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." Wylan whines and then he rests his face on Jesper's shoulder. "But I don't have the energy to get up."

He laughs and gets up, extending his hand to Wylan. "C'mon little prince, we can go see my father at work and eat something there."

They put the bikes back in the house and then go find Colm. His market's not that far away and next to it there's a cafe where they can relax and eat something. Wylan ends up being more fun to be around than Jesper expected. His dry, slightly depreciating, sense of humor and unusual remarks are fun. He knows so many things Jesper doesn't - astronomy, music, art, math, literature - and he's excited and questioning. Jesper finds himself entranced by their conversations, instead of annoyed as he normally would be by someone he thinks is pretentious. There's something completely genuine about the way Wylan sees the world.

"So, NASA found out that this planet is the most similar to earth they have found so far and the closest!" He tells him. "In 50 years we might be able to go there. Isn't this crazy? All the possibilities…"

"I didn't know you knew so much about science." He says, half surprised, half impressed.

"I don't know much, I just like to read about it. Who doesn't like space?" With Jesper's silence, he goes on. "New forms life, new places explore. What's there not to like?"

"You believe in aliens?" He says, skeptically.

Wylan sighs. "Not in green aliens who want to kill us all. But in other living creatures in the universe, hell yeah. You can't really think we're alone."

"Right." He still doesn't buy it. "Anyway, I thought you were a math genius."

"We need a lot of math to go to space." Wylan eyes his iced tea. "I always preferred numbers over words, with my problem an all… I could be good enough on the other subjects with some help, but it was always too stressing, so I never liked it."

Jesper nods in understanding. "I also like numbers. The ones on money and cards but…" He smiles at Wylan.

"You never considered going to college?"

"Nah, not for me. I barely finished high school. I quit for a while, got into a bit of trouble, not looking forward to going back. But I did always like the UvA campus."

"It's a beautiful place." Wylan agrees.

They spend the rest of the day walking around the streets of Amsterdam. Some people recognize the Prince, but no one bothers them. Jesper thinks that Kaz will be mad that he's parading the Prince around instead of hiding him, so they go back to the house to watch a movie on Netflix instead.

When his father finally comes back home, Jesper is sprawled on the couch, his feet on Wylan's lap. His father takes a look at the popcorn on the floor and the drinks on the table and Jesper immediately gets up and start cleaning things, Wylan, following his gaze, starts doing the same.

"Jesper!" His father admonishes.

"I'm already cleaning up, da!"

"I'm not talking about that. Why are you letting the Prince clean your mess?"

Wylan looks embarrassed. "This mess is also mine, I wanna help."

Colm shakes his head and takes the drinks from his hand. "No, you're a guest here."

"He has people cleaning up after him everywhere, da, cleaning things up is his idea of a vacation." He says, even though he knows it's not true. He saw Wylan's apartment.

"Doesn't matter, Jesper." His father sighs and takes the trash to the kitchen. "I'm gonna start on dinner." He calls out and Wylan gets up.

"I'll help."

"Oh, no-" His father starts, but Jesper interrupts.

"Let him, da. He says he can cook, but I don't believe him. I want to see it with my own two eyes." He follows them to the kitchen. "So, what are we having today, Chef Wylan."

Wylan blushes and looks at Colm. "What were you going to do, sir?"

His father looks surprised with the 'sir', but says. "I was going to make a Mediterranean soup." Jesper's heart skips, his mom's favorite. "Jesper used to make me when he was a kid."

"So _you_ can cook." Wylan smiles at him.

He laughs. "I would always burn the soup."

His father gives him a fond look. "Only in the beginning, but then you got better. We both did." He doesn't say anything more, how they had to learn how to cook because his mom had died and how his mom's favorite soup was the only thing he knew how to cook at first so they ate it so much they got sick of it. They never talk about these things.

They're better at cooking now than they were before, but they're still not experts, so Wylan ends up dominating the kitchen, telling them what to do, and teaching Jesper how to cut the vegetables exactly how he wants him to.

Before long, the meal is ready and they're sat at the table. His father is the first one to taste it, Wylan looking nervous.

"It's- It's perfect." He says, amazed, his eyes shining.

Jesper tastes it and he feels it too. It tastes just like his mom's soup. He has to blink a couple of times before he can turn his head to Wylan's expectant gaze and give him a smile. "This is delicious, princeling. You really can do anything."

Wylan frowns at him. "Thank you." He says. "It's the least I could do." He turns back to Colm. "Thank you again, Mr. Fahey, for accepting me here. I don't know how much longer it will take, but I hope not to become a bother."

Jesper's father seems out of it still. "No, son, this is perfect. You can stay as long as you want."

"We will go to the barrel tomorrow to see if Kaz has found something else. The deadline is on Saturday after all, it can't take much longer." He says vaguely so his father won't understand, but Wylan nods.

His father gives Wylan the spare bedroom and after watching an episode of Star Trek - Wylan's suggestion - on the TV with them, the Prince goes to bed.

His father turns to him after a while. "I hope you know what you're doing Jesper. You're a man now, you have made your mistakes, but you have also made your best to fix your errors, I don't want to see you in trouble anymore."

It feels like his father knows something he doesn't, something that from the beating of his heart he doesn't want to think about. But they were always very good at ignoring those things.

"Don't worry da, I know what I'm doing." He lies.

 

The next day, Jesper wakes up to the smell of pancakes. He goes downstairs to find Wylan and his father cooking and talking. He stops and spends some time waking up against the door, watching them interact.

His father seems to have gotten over his initial formality and now calls Wylan, 'son', which seems to make the princeling happy every time it happens. He thinks of the first day he saw Wylan - less than a week ago - and how muted he seemed close to his own father. He definitely prefers him like this.

"Oh, Jes!" His father finally sees him. "I was just going to wake you up."

"The smell of food woke me." He gets closer to them.

"Are you coming back here today?" His father asks them.

Wylan looks at him, and Jesper says. "I think so... We're just going to check how things are at the Slat, but I don't think Wylan should bring his suitcase with him in case he needs to stay here longer." Wylan doesn't say anything, but he seems satisfied at the prospect.

They have breakfast together and then - after some convincing from him and his father - Wylan agrees to use the bike to go to the barrel and they leave together.

Jesper comes again a little later than he _should_ be. But after constantly coming in at that time, that's what they've come to expect - and even rely on - he coming in one hour later, every time. Unless Kaz sends them a message telling them to be there at a certain time, they're expected at work at their normal hours. The only way Jesper can ever be early is if he sleeps at work.

When they get in the Slat, everyone is sitting at the reception, like they're expecting them.

"Miss me?" He smiles when he sees them.

"What are you doing here?" Kaz demands.

Jesper blinks. "I work here?"

"Not you. Wylan." Kaz rolls his eyes.

Wylan looks embarrassed. "Um, we came to see if there's any news."

"I don't think this is a good time." Inej starts.

"Maybe he can hide in one of the rooms?" Nina says.

"Which one? We're a little short on rooms to hide people." Matthias snorts.

"What's going on?" Jesper asks.

Everyone looks at Kaz and he sighs. "Van Eck is coming."

"My father?" Wylan's eyes widen.

"Yes. And it would be better if he doesn't find his son is here when we're about to break to him that the same son's been kidnapped."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jesper asks.

Kaz arches his eyebrows. "Tell you not to bring to work, unsolicited, a boy who I told you to hide? Gee, I don't know how I forgot to."

Jesper exhales, angry, but before he can say anything, they hear the ding of the elevator.

"Quick, hide." Nina pulls him and Wylan to the corridor and pushes them on the first room - the fancy reunion room. "Keep him here." She says to Jesper and then closes the door in their faces.

Wylan looks at Jesper, panicked. "This is going so fast, right?"

"Yeah." Jesper frowns. "But I guess since the deadline is tomorrow…"

"But nothing is going to happen, right? He can't send the pictures now that we know who he is."

"Um, but if he has a partner… maybe he also has the pictures."

"And the video." Wylan says, looking pale.

"And maybe your father would think it's weird nothing is happening. Maybe he would just pay the price to not risk the pictures leaking, so Kaz has to do something soon."

Wylan laughs, hollow. "Yeah, maybe." He pauses and looks at the door. "Do you think we can eavesdrop?"

Jesper smirks. "Of course." He opens the door a little and they can hear the voices from the other room.

"Enough of this nonsense." They hear Van Eck's voice. "I'm a busy person. Why did you call me here, did you find who did it?"

"Where's your son, sir?" Kaz's voice, now.

"What's this got to do with anything?" A pause. "He's back at school."

"Really?" Kaz says. "Because I got information that your son was kidnapped yesterday."

"What?" Van Ecks seems surprised.

"We think the blackmailer kidnapped him since we didn't respond sooner."

The room stays in silence for a moment and Jesper and Wylan look at each other.

"Kidnapped. Why would they do that? Are you sure he's not… doing something else? Wylan can be… dramatic. I bet he's just hiding somewhere."

"After we received the information we went to look for him at the university, but we couldn't find him. No one knows where he is." Inej's voice.

"Well." Another pause. "What do you want me to do? Have he contacted you, the kidnapper?"

"Not yet." Kaz says.

"Then how do you know it's the same person as the blackmailer?"

"Your Highness, I wouldn't be the best at my job if I didn't have informants. And I didn't keep them secret."

"Have you found who is the blackmailer, yet, then?"

"Not yet, but we're close." Kaz answers.

"I thought you said 24 hours. Where's that boy anyway, late again?"

"Jesper is busy." Jesper can hear the predatory smile on Kaz's face. "Anyway, I suggest you pay the blackmailer, this will be the easier and cleaner way to end this if he now has your son."

Wylan touches Jesper's arm, but when Jesper turns to him, his eyes are focused on the door.

"I'm not sure about that. Paying blackmailers is a sign of weakness. Besides, I'm not sure I believe he was kidnapped, especially not by whoever sent the pictures." They can hear a noise like Van Eck is getting up to leave. "Find out who sent the pictures like I'm paying you to - a lot of money, may I remind you - and if this kidnapping business is real I want more information before doing anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do."

They hear the elevator door opening and then silence. Jesper closes the door quietly and turns to Wylan, who let go of his arm and sat down on the closest chair, his eyes fixed on the table.

Jesper feels an anger he hasn't felt in a very long time. They have a lot of work that makes him disgusted and angry, but to survive in a place like this you can't be moved by every story, you need to detach yourself. Spending a whole day with Wylan, getting to know him, made this personal in a way it hasn't been since his first few works.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly.

"I'm fine." Wylan answers, without looking at him.

He doesn't think he can do anything for him now. "I'm going to go outside, stay here." He closes the door after him, he's not even sure Wylan heard him, but he needs to go to the others before they decide to come to Wylan. If the boy needs time, he will make sure he gets it. He said he would try to make Wylan's life easier, and apparently, his job is just getting started.

  

 

* * *

 

Wylan can see Jesper watching him the rest of the day, but he ignores him. He minds his own business and the others seem to follow his lead, leaving him alone.

Every once in a while they ask him something that might help them figure out who could be Raphael's partner, but he doesn't know much to be of real help. He and Raphael knew each other for a year, but they didn't know each other that well. Of course, he has known his father his whole life and he still doesn't know much about him.

His mind feels like it's going to split, he has so many thoughts in it. Jesper did a good job at distracting him yesterday, too good even, because now he doesn't know where to start unraveling his feelings.

He still doesn't feel like he has come to terms with what Raphael did. Should he blame himself or should he hate Raphael now? He doesn't think he hates him, but it doesn't seem fair to blame himself for kissing someone a little carelessly when nothing would've happened if he hadn't leaked the pictures himself. Betrayed his trust, as Jesper said.

Or maybe someone would eventually take pictures of him kissing a boy, in which case he only rushed things.

But then, does any of this matter? He still betrayed his trust. Someone else leaking the pictures wouldn't hurt as much as Raphael doing it.

So he and Raphael and both guilty, but maybe he can get off with only community service while his Tutor is looking at 15 years in jail.

And then there's his father. He always thought that his father was hard on him because deep inside he loved him, that he would protect him if he had to. But now he isn't so sure. What type of person hears about his son's possible kidnapping and doesn't give a _fuck_?

One of the first memories he has is from when he was 4 years old. It was his birthday and he'd had a big party, it was already night and after his mother put him to bed, his father asked for some time alone with him. Van Eck got in bed with him and read to him until he fell asleep. The next day he woke up with his father still in bed with him and he never felt as loved and protected his whole life, he knew he could sleep peacefully because his father would take care of him.

But then his parents broke up and that was his fault for ruining their family. At least that's what his father says, he doesn't know how he did it. He can't remember much of that time, he only remembers his parents being happy.

He has his mom's hair and for so long he hated it, it was because of it that his father could never look at his face the same way again. Wylan thought he reminded his father too much of her.

He sees how the King is with Lynn, his half-sister, he loves her. He's capable of loving her and Alys, is Wylan that he has a problem with and that can't be anyone's fault but his own.

Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to accept it. He tried so hard to make his father proud. He managed to have grades good enough even when he couldn't read anything, and he excelled in science even when he didn't like it. Everything to try to make up for all his defects. He has the best grades of his year at university and he can play the flute and draw. But none of that was ever enough.

He wonders when his father gave up hope on him completely. Was it when his mother left because of him, or when he looked so much like her? Maybe when he was diagnosed with dyslexia, or when he couldn't read even after they tried to teach him over and over and over again? Mostly he thinks it was when his father caught him kissing another boy.

Still, none of those things he could help, so why couldn't his father forgive him anyway?

"Hey." He looks up from where he's looking at his watch and Jesper is watching him.

Again with those careful eyes, like Wylan is going to bolt if he's too brusk. But he can't blame him, he does feel like bolting. If he only had somewhere to go.

"Let's go home." Jesper says.

Home. He nods, even though he doesn't know where home is anymore.

He doesn't notice where they're going as he follows Jesper, his thoughts getting more confused with each passing moment. When Jesper stops not long after, he looks up to see they're not at Colm's house. He gets off the bike and follows Jesper inside the building without saying anything.

"I thought it would be better not to go to my father's place so he doesn't ask any questions. I already texted him saying we're going to be staying at my place, so don't worry." Jesper says when they get inside the apartment. "This way we can talk if you want to. Or we can stay in silence too, I don't mind."

He almost snorts at this. He can see how unsettled Jesper is at the thought. The boy hates silence.

"Okay, you can sit here." Jesper directs him to the couch. "And I'm going to make us some food. Is not going to be as good as the food you made, but it won't make you sick - probably." Jesper smiles at him, but he says nothing in return. If he tries to smile he feels like he's going to throw up instead.

He's so tired. He wants to fall asleep and not wake up ever again. The noise of Jesper moving around the kitchen somehow comforts him and he closes his eyes for a while. Before long, Jesper is touching his arm and giving him a plate of meatballs and pasta.

"This is my favorite comfort food, - besides my mom's chicken soup - but that takes too long to make." He sits in an armchair, his legs dropped over one of the arms and his plate on his lap.

At Jesper tentative look he tastes a little and it's good. Jesper is not as bad as a cook as he made it out to be. "This is good." He nods.

"Of course." Jesper says dismissively, but he can see how relieved he is. "This is my specialty."

Jesper talks nonstop during dinner, he seems to take Wylan's silence as reason to keep talking without even waiting for his answer. The food and Jesper's voice make him warm inside and out, and for a while, he forgets what he was even worried about.

After they finish eating and Jesper leaves him alone to wash the plates (not accepting his help), everything that happened starts coming back. Jesper comes back and sits down next to him on the couch, saying something about Netflix, he doesn't even hear him.

"Where would you go if you wanted to disappear?" He asks, more to himself than Jesper.

He sees the boy looking at him. "Um, I came here. Alright, I came here to study, but I got lost in the city. Nothing like a big city to make you lose yourself."

"Maybe I'll go to Beijing then."

Jesper laughs. "People would miss you too much."

"Who?" He snorts.

"I don't know, everyone? You're the fucking prince of this country."

He huffs. "Give them a couple of years and they'll forget all about me. I have two siblings that will make for perfect little princes and princess."

Jesper arches his eyebrow. "I've never heard this much anger from you. Keep going, I like it."

He shakes his head. "I- I love my sister. I can't say much for my brother since he hasn't been born yet, but I know I'll love him too." Thinking of his sister grounds him again. How could he leave and let her here? But maybe she would be happier away from him?

"I know you love your sister. We all saw the pictures of her 2nd birthday, you two in the ball pit. It melted even Kaz's heart."

He feels himself blush. "I just think- don't you think I should just run away? Leave all this behind and start somewhere else? I didn't ask to be royalty."

"Now, princeling, we're too early on our relationship for you to be implying we elope."

His cheeks feel even hotter. "I'm being serious."

Jesper closes off. "Are you? Because I think you're being ridiculous. Running away from your problems isn't going to make them disappear." He makes a face at this but keeps going. "This is your life and your family, are you going to let a blackmailer rob you of your life?"

"You know that's not a problem. My father would prefer if I disappeared." This is the first time he shared his fears aloud, a small part of him hopes Jesper will tell him he's crazy and of course, his father doesn't want that, but the boy frowns instead.

"He told you that." He states.

He swallows. "No, of course not." He lies, but Jesper seems to catch something in his voice because his eyes flash. "I've just been thinking about it. I'm dyslexic… and _gay_. This is not what this country needs. Or I give up this part of my life, or I risk our sovereignty. I don't want to humiliate the whole country!"

Jesper's face gets angry. "You're smarter than this. Do you think you're the first member of the royalty - any royalty - to ever be gay? You're not even the first one born in this century. The country will survive you."

"But the people-"

"What about the people? They will get over it. And if they don't, are you telling me you're thinking of leaving your family behind for people that don't even care about you?" Jesper eyes soften. "Look, I'm not saying you have to come out or not, this is your choice and only yours. We're doing everything we can to protect your choice and we will do it anytime you need it again. But you can't approach being gay as a punishment, it will eat you alive. You have a lot of good qualities that the royalty needs right now, that the people need. Right now you're a mess, which is understandable, but when you need to make a choice, you have to think of only yourself, the rest of it will come into place."

Wylan frowns, can he do it, can he only think of himself? Maybe Jesper's right, his father can resolve whatever conflict he has in his hands, he doesn't need to worry about the country.

Taking that off the equation doesn't make it simple, he still has a lot to consider, but right now he doesn't want to leave. There's so much he wants to teach Lynn still, and he hasn't even met his brother yet.

"Thank you." He says softly.

Jesper sighs in relief. "Tomorrow we should do something new."

"What?"

Jesper turns to him, looking excited. "Tell me something you always wanted to do, but couldn't."

There's so much… "I don't know."

"C'mon. A place you always wanted to go, like Thailand. Or an adventure you always wanted to do, like go bung jumping."

He swallows. "I've already seen Thailand, but-. Well, my- my mom loved boats. She used to tell me when I was older we would travel around the world in one." Of course, she disappeared instead and never got in touch with him again, but he can't think of that without wondering again what's wrong with him.

Jesper's eyes widen in surprise. "Okay, I can do that. Not traveling around the world because I have work on Monday, but we can spend the weekend sailing. Inej has a houseboat, I'm sure she will love to share."

He feels himself getting a little excited too. "Would you really do that?"

"Of course. I love an adventure." He winks and Wylan blushes.

He's not ready to let go yet, there's a lot he wants to see of this place before he can move on. He hasn't even finished his major. When that's done, maybe he will reevaluate if he wants to keep trying to be the prince his father always wanted him to be. But for now, not his father or Raphael will make him run from this city with his tail between his legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story you can reblog [this post](http://my-honeydukes.tumblr.com/post/175458801198/upholding-by-sterekristmas-jesper-still-hasnt) on tumblr
> 
> Next: Wylan and Jesper play the longest game of truth or dare.


	5. Of the Islands, the Most Beautiful and Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wylan and Jesper play the longest game of truth or dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sick for two weeks (still am actually) but I still tried editing this chapter but ao3 stopped working all three times until I learned my lesson but by now I'm already sick of these words so I kind of skimmed through this chapter, so if you see any mistake please tell me.  
> Also, the rating went down. Now, have this extra long chapter!

Jesper wakes up before Wylan again. This time, the princeling is curled towards him, holding Jesper's arm like he's a teddy bear, his red curly hair sprawled over the pillow.

So, the thing is, Jesper has another room in his house. It's a simple room, but it has a bed - his father used to sleep there before Jesper bought him his own house - which isn't that impressive when he's the reason his father was homeless in the first place. He could have told Wylan about it, but he didn't. He's only trying to be sensible, he hasn't cleaned that room in ages, who knows what could be found there. It's definitely not prince-safe.

So instead, he acted like there was only one room in the house and they would have to sleep together. And it's not like they haven't done that before - they did it two days ago - Wylan didn't seem to care then, so he feels good about it.

And to be honest is not like he outright lied. Since his addiction, he's been trying not to lie anymore if he can avoid it, but omitting things it's still a go - again, his therapist's opinion on it is just one of the many possible choices he can make.

He doesn't intend to go back to sleep, but he's so comfortable and warm that he thinks he does anyway and when he opens his eyes again Wylan is awake and staring at him.

He smirks at the boy. "Watching me sleep, princeling?"

Wylan blushes. "I just woke up." He seems to have let go of Jesper's arm and he wonders if he did it while still sleeping or after he woke up. They spend a couple of minutes just watching each other until their blinks become shorter and their eyes are more awake. "What are you going to tell Kaz?"

"Um, nothing?"

"Don't you have work today?"

"Not today." He pauses. They are technically in the middle of a job so he would be expected to go to work. "Well, I'll tell him I have plans."

"Don't they need you?" Wylan asks, serious.

He's sure he could be useful if he went to work, but he already found out who did it. Now that they have the computer of the Tutor, Kaz knows enough to monitor it for signs of a partner.

He smiles. "Don't worry muffin. They can do the job."

"Muffin?" Wylan squeaks.

"Yeah, cause in the mornings you look so sweet, I could eat you."

Wylan doesn't hide like he thought he would at this, instead, he looks at him intensely. "So, where we're going, then?"

He tries to understand the look on Wylan's face. Challenge, maybe? Or is it a promise? Jesper swallows and tries to remember what he just asked. "It's a surprise, of course." His voice comes out quieter than he expected.

"Should I pack for a day at the beach?" Wylan teases.

"On this weather? No, I don't think so. You only need to bring your lovely self."

They stay in bed for longer than they should and only when Wylan gets up to start on his morning routine Jesper gets his phone to text Kaz.

 

**not going today**

**have an appointment**

**keep me posted on things**

**I'm not paying you to go on vacations, Jesper.**

**well, whats the schedule for today**

**If you come to work you will know.**

**im serious kaz**

**do wylan need to be there**

**?**

**No, you can do whatever you're planning on doing with him.**

 

Of course Inej told Kaz what he was planning on doing. He had to tell her since he asked for her houseboat and even though he didn't ask her to keep it secret he was hoping she wouldn't tell Kaz. Now he can see how stupid that was, no way she was missing a chance to tease him.

 

**Van Eck received an email today threatening him and giving him until next week to send the money before he receives a finger of his son in the mail.**

**isnt this risky kaz**

**I don't know what you're talking about.**

**Take care of your business and I take care of mine.**

**Just be careful.**

 

He knows there's no point in keeping going, so he puts his phone back on the bedside table. Whatever Kaz was planning, he knew the details better than him, and if he needed time for it to work and was giving Jesper time with Wylan, he was going to make the best out of it.

"Be careful… He's the one that needs to be careful." He mumbles to his phone.

"Did you say anything?" Wylan asks from the kitchen where he's making them some food.

"I asked if you need help." He says and gets up to go help him.

 

"Wow. This boat is nice." Wylan says, his eyes shining when they get to Inej's houseboat.

"No need to pretend princeling, we all saw you that new year's eve having a party at a yacht three times this size."

Wylan gets red. "I forget you know more about me than I know about you."

He shrugs and gets inside the houseboat, carrying his bike, that he insisted to Wylan they had to bring. "Not anything that matters, just stuff we see on TV."

"Still, you should tell me stuff about you."

He assesses Wylan. "You can ask me a question every hour and if I don't want to answer, um, I have a punishment or something."

"Like truth or dare?"

"Sure. Except only I am answering the questions."

"You can ask me questions, too." Wylan says. They're now inside the living room, downstairs, and it's tiny but comfortable. It has a TV in front of a couch and next to it a square dining table.

"Nah, you need to catch up first. And don't worry, I'll answer all questions, I have nothing to hide." He's mostly being sincere. He already told Wylan a little about his addictions, there's nothing he's more ashamed of than that.

"Okay." Wylan looks at him. "Can I ask one now?"

"Shoot."

"Um, how old are you?"

Jesper laughs. "Are you serious, this is your first question?"

"No, you're right, I want to change it. What I really want to know is the day you were born. This way I can know your sign too."

"You shouldn't be able to change questions, I'm gonna allow it this time, but next time it's gonna have a punishment. Like me asking you a question."

"I already told you, you can ask me questions."

"But what's the fun in that?" He winks at Wylan. "And I was born on November 29 of 1999."

"So you're… a Sagittarius?"

"That I am."

Wylan accesses him and then nods. "I can see it." He then looks around the room. "So, does Inej live here?"

"Are you asking if Inej is living in the streets right now so we can have a trip through the canals of Netherlands? No, she doesn't live here." He opens the door to their left side where the main suit is. In it, there's a queen bed and a small bathroom.

"She could be sleeping at Kaz's place." Wylan mumbles.

He ignores him. "Her parents work in a circus, so she bought this with a lot of her saved money - maybe even all of it, these things are expensive - so she could go see them whenever she wanted. She loves the sea."

In the bedroom, they can see the view outside and Wylan watches at it, his face thoughtful.

"So this is my room, of course, let me show your room now." Jesper announces and Wylan makes an indignant noise but follows him out of the room.

They pass the living room again and the kitchen, and then they're in a smaller room with two single beds.

"Fit for the royalty." He gives a bow.

Wylan makes a face at him and goes look at the bathroom. "Whatever." He says. "At least I get the bigger bathroom."

"My intention all along."

"So, where we're going? And do you even know how to drive this?"

Jesper leads them back upstairs. "The first thing is still a surprise, and the second, of course I do, I'm gifted at every type of drive."

 

The drive is peaceful, he teaches Wylan how to drive when they're away from everything that he could crash into, but the princeling doesn't seem that much interested even though he's a quick learner. He seems much more interested in Jesper and every hour he still asks him a question.

"What's your favorite color?" "Blue."

"What's your favorite type of music?" "I'm a true eclectic, but right now I'm listening to a lot of Dua Lipa."

And before they notice they're on their first destination. It's a peaceful little town surrounded by lakes and sand islands, it's a perfect place to visit during summer, but it's still relaxing and enjoyable now.

"I'm starving." He says to Wylan after he docks the boat.

"Is there anything in the freezer?"

"Um, water?"

"Jesper!"

"What, why do we need food? We're going to eat at a restaurant."

"What if the boat stopped working, we would have stayed here without any kind of food."

"We would've fished. I'm pretty sure there's a fishing rod here somewhere." He pinches Wylan's cheeks. "Let's go, there's a world waiting for us outside."

They get their bikes and start strolling around the city. This city has a lot more canals than Amsterdam and the air is so fresh, he thinks if it was summer he would suggest they have a picnic. Finally, they find a place that looks nice and decide to stop there to eat.

"After this, we need to go to a market to buy some things so we don't die of hunger in case of an emergency."

Jesper shakes his head. "We're only on a boat for two days. You're such a princeling."

Wylan frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I call you that all the time."

"Yeah, but you never say it like this, like it's an offense."

"Well, you're pampered. This is what I mean. You probably had gold baby wipes when you were a baby." He knows Wylan's relationship with his father is complicated, but that doesn't change the fact he was pampered his whole life.

Wylan's face closes up and he looks down. "What happened to your mom?"

"What?" This was not what he was expecting.

"Your mom. You only talk about your father, I want to know what happened to her." He says a little impatiently.

"Is this one of your questions?" He frowns.

"Yes." Wylan nods.

He gets his phone and looks at the time, and yep. Another hour has passed.

"Are you not going to answer?" And then he says, quieter. "Everyone knows what happened to my mom-"

"Do we?"

"Yes, you do. I just thought…" He trails off. "You don't have to answer, I'm so-"

"My mom died." He says. "She was shot. It was an accident."

"I'm sorry." Wylan says softly.

"Yeah. She was amazing. She thought me how to cook. And she always told me to be brave and true to myself."

Wylan looks down again. "She sounds nice." He says nothing to that. "How old were you?"

He doesn't point out that he's already asked his question, this isn't the game anymore. "Only seven. Most of the time I don't know if the memories I have of her are actual memories or stories I heard from my father. Maybe even stories I made up from the pictures I have of us."

Wylan nods. "I know. I- I know." It's all he says.

After eating, they get their bikes again and go see the rest of the town. There's not much to see, it's a small town, but they still take silly pictures of themselves and of the view. There are a few people outside and if any of them recognize the Prince, no one says anything or do anything about it.

Wylan doesn't ask any more questions, and finally, they find a market and buy some things they can eat in case their boat stops working. When they go back to the boat, the sun is already setting.

"We should get going." He says after they put everything away.

"Back home?" Wylan asks, and Jesper notes the sad tilt in his mouth.

"No, to our next destination. We should get there today so we have the whole day tomorrow to explore before we need to go back."

"Ok." Wylan nods.

He thinks Wylan is going to stay downstairs watching TV while he drives, but he stays with him on the driving cabin, quiet.

"How did you start working with Kaz?" He asks sometime later when it's only them and the stars.

"Is this another one of your questions?" Wylan nods and Jesper has to bite his lip to keep from smiling. "Like I told you, I came to Amsterdam when I was an innocent 14 years old boy-" Wylan snorts and he fully smiles. "We had a farm in an even smaller town in Limburg than the one we just visited, so I got a little excited when I saw such a big city. Before I knew it, I was deep in debts and had dropped out of school. I don't know why Kaz was interested in me, but apparently, he heard about a boy who was receiving death threats if he didn't pay what he owned and he couldn't allow that injustice." He smiles. "That's not how he tells it, but it's still how it looked. He says I had a reputation for being good at hacking computers, but truth is, he saved my life."

Wylan seems surprised at this. "So he _is_ good."

He laughs. "Like I said, he will fulfill any deal you make with him. He paid my debts and in exchange, I worked for him. I already paid my debts to him two times over, I stay because I like working there. It might not look like it, but those are all good people."

"I know." Wylan says confidently.

He sighs. The princeling still trusts too easily, but what can he do about that?

 

They're getting to their next destination when Wylan speaks again. "What about the others, how did they find Kaz?"

"Prostitution, murder, kidnapping, extortion…" Wylan's eyes widen. "You can choose. We don't speak about our pasts. I was the first one Kaz recruited and I still only know bits and pieces. None of it matters anymore, we got our second chance."

"Second chance." Wylan repeats. "That seems nice."

"You can join us after this is over."

Wylan smiles. "Maybe I will."

But they both know it will never happen. You can't have a second chance when you're a prince, no one will ever forget Wylan's face and his mistakes.

"So, what do you want your punishment to be?" Wylan says.

"What?"

He smirks. "You didn't answer my question. I think we agreed that would cause a punishment."

"Oh. Right." He had completely forgotten about that. He frowns. "But that question wasn't even about me."

"Trying to get away from the punishment? Alright, then." Wylan smiles. "I'll ask something else."

He rolls his eyes. He doesn't know how the princeling can be modest about being the fucking prince, but give him some power in a truth or dare game and he's suddenly too full of himself. "I'll take the punishment." He says.

Wylan beams so brightly, Jesper thinks it's already worth it. At least until he hears the dare. "I want you to take a dive in the water."

He looks outside. It's cold. In a few weeks, the same waters they're in right now are going to be frozen.

"Are you serious?"

"If you don't want…" Wylan shrugs, looking smug.

"No, I'll do it." Doing-things-he-shouldn't it's his middle name after all.

He stops the boat and they go outside. He closes his eyes and smells the air, it's so silent he doesn't even feel the need to fidget. The boat keeps swaying from one side to the other and the noise of the water makes him want to sleep right there outside.

"If you want to gi-" Wylan starts, but he doesn't hear the rest because he jumps in the water. With clothes and everything.

It's freezing about as much as he expected, the sun wasn't that warm, to begin with, and all its work warming the water is already gone by now. He opens his eyes and for a second he can't tell which way is up because it's so dark, but he swims anyway and he breaks through the water, facing away from the boat, panting.

"Thank fuck." He hears behind him and turns to see Wylan taking off his shoes. "I thought you had drowned."

"Good thing you bought all that extra food in case of an emergency." He says and his teeth chatter.

"Get out of the water."

He doesn't complain and swims in Wylan's direction, who helps him get aboard. He curls up on the floor, trying not think about how cold he is, and then he hears Wylan's footsteps going away and coming back a little later. A towel drops on him, and Wylan sits down next to him, pressing his hand to the towel to warm it up, his eyes looking wide.

"I thought you had drowned, you took so long to come back up."

"I didn't take that long." He says. He feels loose-limbed, like he just had some wine, except he's freezing instead of warm. He stops thinking about drinking.

"You did. I was going to get you if you took a second longer."

"And you were going to take your shoes off first?" He tries to laugh, but his teeth keep getting in the way.

Wylan blushes and Jesper reaches his hand to his cheek before he can stop himself, it's as warm as it looked. The boy flinches a little but doesn't try to get away from the cold.

"I didn't want the shoes to get in my way."

"Were you going to take your clothes off too, because I can go back in the water."

"Shut up," Wylan says and he can feel his cheeks getting even warmer, it's an amazing thing to be able to witness. "You're so stupid. I was joking, I didn't really think you were going to go in."

"Then you don't know me at all."

"I thought we had already established that." Wylan gets the hand in his cheek in both of his and lies down next to him, Jesper inches closer to him trying to warm up in the body heat and Wylan lets him, intertwining their legs. "We can really see the starts from here." Wylan murmurs.

"Um, it's beautiful." He says, eyes fixed on Wylan.

Wylan blushes again but doesn't turn to look at him. "I was thinking about my mom before, while you were driving. She really left. What you know is as much as I know. The newspapers said we still saw each other, but that's not true, she just disappeared. Like I wasn't enough of a reason for her to stay after she and my father separated."

Jesper squeezes the hand that's clutched on his.

Wylan goes on. "For so long I thought it was my fault, my father- well, I thought I wasn't what she wanted. But now I'm remembering that's not true. I remembered she and my father fighting all the time before she disappeared. That wasn't solely my fault. I don't remember she ever fighting with me." He frowns. "My father was the one that started… not being that nice. I guess she was unhappy and I can't judge her for it, she wanted to find happiness and I was going to be a memory of all the bad times she spent in the palace."

Jesper reaches his free hand to smooth the crinkle between Wylan's eyebrows. "That's such bullshit and you know it. I didn't meet the Queen, but she was responsible for you, she couldn't leave you alone with that…"

"You can say it."

"That son of a bitch. She shouldn't have left you with him without any explanation. Having you blame yourself all those years…" He shakes his head.

"I used to hide in the palace after she left, so my father couldn't find me. She was reading The Chronicles of Narnia to me before so I would try all the wardrobes in the house, trying to find the secret passage. I thought maybe my mom was there and that was why my father said it was my fault she had left."

Jesper smiles sadly. "Little Wylan hiding away in wardrobes."

"Yeah." Wylan finally turns to him, his eyes are wet, but he's not crying. "For so long I've been trying to find the happiness I once had in that palace, but now I remember that I was never really happy. Maybe when I was a newborn, but even then I will never know."

They stay looking at each other and then Wylan yawns and blushes after.

"C'mon, princeling, time for bed." He gets up and pulls Wylan to him.

"We should find somewhere to dock."

"We're almost there, you can go to bed and I'll drive the rest of the way." He turns the boat back on.

"No, I'll wait for you." Wylan sits back in the chair.

When they dock, Wylan is asleep, his head nodding off. Jesper smiles fondly and wakes him up. "C'mon, sunshine. Or do you want me to carry you?"

Wylan slaps his hand away from his cheek but gets up. "Where are we?"

"Tomorrow you can see."

He tries to move Wylan to the suit, but he seems at least awake enough to go to the other room. "That's _your_ room." He mumbles.

Jesper sighs, directs him to one of the twin beds and tucks him in, Wylan holds his shirt when he's leaving and pulls him closer, his eyes still closed.

"-ight." He gives him a kiss that misses his mouth by only a couple of inches.

Jesper stays in the middle of the room, watching as the Prince's chest rises and falls. He really looks like a prince like this, one that you could find in a fairy tale, taking a nap before going to save the princess. Or maybe he will save another prince this time.

He sighs and changes out of his wet clothes. He's not feeling drunk like before, but he's feeling warm inside, even though his fingers are cold. Jumping in freezing water is nothing compared to lying next to Wylan on the floor, watching the stars, counting his freckles.

He lies on the bed across from Wylan, not even considering going to the main room. Before he falls asleep, he remembers what Kaz said to him earlier - it feels like it was another day - be careful. From the churn in his stomach, he knows that he definitely isn't being careful.  


 

* * *

Wylan wakes up feeling rested. This hasn't happened for some time. These past few days he's been sleeping more than normal, but he still wakes up feeling tired.

He stretches under the covers, content, and turns to the side, expecting to see an empty bed, but instead, finds Jesper sprawled over the covers of the twin bed. The bed is clearly too small for him because one of his legs is falling to the side, his head is also under the pillow somehow and he's turned to the wall, away from Wylan.

He feels himself blush as he watches Jesper. He can only do it for a few more seconds before feeling like a creep and getting up. He can't believe Jesper slept in the same room as him. They had a perfectly good queen bed and no one slept on it.

He goes to the main room and takes a shower there so he doesn't wake Jesper up, then goes upstairs and takes a look at the view. He immediately recognizes where they are, Utrecht. He's been here a couple of times before, but usually with his father, so he doesn't have fond memories of it.

He's glad he's here now with Jesper so he can make new memories. Half of him wants to bring the boy with him to all the places his father tainted, but another part of him wants to make memories in places he's never been before and will never come back again, so he can keep Jesper there forever.

He sighs and goes downstairs to make them breakfast as he waits for Jesper to wake up. When Jesper finally gets up, he's already sitting at the table, reading.

"Morning princeling," Jesper says as he passes by him, tossing Wylan's hair. "What are you reading?" Wylan turns the cover of the book to him. "Charles Dickens. Do you think of yourself as Oliver Twist?"

"I'm not an orphan." He says.

Jesper sits down next to him, their tights touching." Um, that you're not. So, what do we have to eat today?"

"Eggs, toast and some fruits." He feels nervous somehow. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby," Jesper says, putting everything that fits on his plate until he has a mountain of food, he turns to Wylan. "I figure you slept well?"

"Yes." He pauses. "I saw you slept in the same room as me."

Jesper laughs, but Wylan thinks he sees a little red on his cheeks. "I was so tired, I just sat there and knocked down. Didn't even notice where I was until today."

"Right." He smiles at Jesper, feeling all his worries disappear.

"Oh, shut up." Jesper says when he sees his smile and shakes Wylan's hair again. Wylan squirms away from him, feeling his smile grow.

"I saw where we are." He says finally.

"I figured you would recognize here." Jesper nods.

"Yep. Came here before. We're in another province."

"Good stating of facts princeling, I see your education is paying off."

Now his cheeks are starting to hurt, he feels so stupidly happy. "I almost went to college here."

"Were you going to study math, too?"

"No, I applied to chemistry. A big pro was the distance, is about half an hour further from my father's palace than the University of Amsterdam, but in the end, my love for math won. I don't even like chemistry that much, I applied because I thought my father would like it."

Jesper says nothing for a while. "I'm glad you're doing what you like."

"I'm not sure I am." He sighs. "I'm doing math because it makes sense you know, it's not like letters. I see numbers in a spiral, it's so easy to understand things. It's fun."

"Wait. You see numbers in a spiral?"

He feels his cheeks heat. "Yeah, no big deal. Lot's of people do. I think. Point is, I always held on to math because it was easy, but what I really love is music. And art."

"The lowest number is at the bottom of the spiral or at the top?"

"Jesper!" He laughs.

"I'm sorry. But, does it matter what you choose to do? I mean, in the end, aren't you going to become the king? Shouldn't you be doing economics or something?"

He frowns. "That's what my father would like me to do, I guess."

"No, wait." Jesper touches his hand. "I'm just saying if you want to take the throne, it doesn't matter what you do, but you can leave this all behind, in which case I support you becoming a famous flutist. You're like super-gifted, I bet you're a brilliant flutist."

"Do you think I could leave everything behind? Should I do that?"

Jesper exhales. "I don't know. Only you can decide that." He squeezes Wylan's hand. "Your hands are so soft." He says after a while, looking down at their hands. "I feel bad even touching it, my hands are so calloused."

He makes to pull his hand away, but Wylan grasps his tighter. "I never worked in my life, so." He can feel himself getting red even to the neck. "Your hands are nice. You have… long fingers." He focuses on their hands, he can't look at Jesper's face.

He feels like a schoolboy on their first date. It's ridiculous, it's like he never dated anyone before.

"So, what are we going to do today?" He lets go of Jesper's hand and focuses back on his book, even though he can't see a single word, and it's not because of his dyslexia.

"Oh, you know…" Jesper's voice is weird and he glances at him to see that he's watching him, a strange gleam in his eyes. "Walk around, eat, visit some places."

"Sounds fun." There's nothing Jesper could suggest he wouldn't think it's fun.

When they finish breakfast, they get their bikes and go outside. The sun is out, but it's barely warming their skins, but riding around the city warms them enough before long.

"This city is so nice at night." Jesper screams at him.

"Uh?" He screams back, Jesper repeats louder and he laughs. "I heard you the first time."

"You sneaky bastard." Jesper laughs too. "It's a shame we can't stay here longer."

He almost says they can always come back another time, but he swallows it. He doesn't know if they're going to come here again, he doesn't even know if he's going to see Jesper after this is resolved. Sometimes he forgets why he got to know Jesper, and he feels like he's a boy going on a - maybe romantic - road trip with a friend. He feels normal, like never before.

Jesper doesn't look at him like he's something special - at least not because he was born in the royalty. He admires the things about Wylan that he always felt silly feeling proud of because his father never cared about. For his father, being born royalty is all that matters, and Wylan ruined that by being so incompetent. But here, with Jesper, he can be himself.

They stop at a fancy restaurant and Wylan has to insist to pay for them because Jesper wants to do it.

"Seriously, you did all this, and you paid yesterday." He says. "The least I can do is pay today, let me do this."

"Gee, alright. You can be such a baby." But he says it fondly.

The day seems to run away from them. Wylan feels his heart beat faster like if he lets this day end, everything will be over. But pleading to the sky doesn't make the sun stop getting higher and higher, and finally starts descending as the sky gets darker.

"Let's go, I have a surprise," Jesper says to him when they finish eating. "I'm not sure you've ever been there before, it's a kind of famous place, but I thought it seemed like a place you would enjoy, so." He seems nervous, so Wylan reaches out and squeezes his hand. He doesn't let go after and he feels giddy and scared at the same time as they walk to their bikes.

This whole time he felt people looking at him, but no one took pictures, people usually don't, that's why he sometimes forgets himself and kisses boys in public. But now he's aware of it. Even if the one time he was caught it was the person he was kissing that took the pictures, he can't stop himself from being paranoid. Walking around holding another boy's hand might make people think about taking a picture.

It would for sure end whatever Kaz is planning if his father saw pictures of him walking freely holding another boy's hand. It would also put him a foot out of the closet, which they all know his father doesn't want to.

Jesper starts glaring at anyone that looks their way and Wylan tries doing it too, imagining Kaz's face, and he thinks it works well enough, at least no one starts laughing at him.

With Jesper's easy smile and crinkling eyes, no one would think of him as intimidating, but seeing him glare at people, he realizes just how tall Jesper is. He definitely could knock some people out if he wanted to.

Jesper finally stops in front of a building and he looks around to see they're at a hair salon. He touches his curls self-consciously.

"What are we doing here?"

"We came to buy you a wig." Jesper goes to a shelf where there's a lot of wigs and picks one up with short curly black hair and puts it next to his face. "I think this color brings up your eyes." He winks at him.

"You think this is necessary?"

"Princeling, you saw everyone looking at you. I don't want Kaz to kill me."

"Right." He feels upset over it like he was floating this whole time, and Jesper just brought him back to earth.

Jesper reaches to one of his curls and twirls it around his finger. "But I prefer your natural hair color any day."

He swallows.

"Hello, how can I help you?" A man comes up to them, appearing to be around their age.

"We want to buy this wig here." Jesper answers.

"Is it for you?" He asks, taking the wig from Jesper's hands and putting it on his head. "I think it would look good on you. Your face is so nice. Very angular. And those eyes are going to pop up in this wig."

Wylan coughs and the guy turns to him, widening his eyes when he recognizes him.

"The wig is for me actually." He rips it out from the guy's hand.

"No, of course, um, Prince Wylan."

"Your Royal Highness." He states.

"Of course, Your Royal Highness. You can get it for free, it's our, um, contribution."

"Thank you." He turns to leave but then comes back. "I would rather pay, actually."

After some time and some many hugs and handshakes, - but no pictures - he manages to pay and leave with the wig already on his head, Jesper following him without speaking a word.

"What?" He says after they walk in silence for a few minutes, both of them leading their bikes.

"Nothing, Your Royal Highness." Jesper says, and then he starts laughing.

Wylan rolls his eyes. "Very funny."

"Yes, it was. When you took the wig away from him, I thought he was gonna pee on the floor."

"I wasn't that scary." He says, feeling a little embarrassed now.

"No, you were more. You had some kind of authority I never saw before. I thought you were going to behead that guy."

"We don't behead people anymore." He mumbles.

Jesper laughs again and puts his arm around him. "You're too funny, princeling."

He likes surprising Jesper, making him laugh. But more than anything, he wants to make him breathless.

"We're here." Jesper says and he totally forgot they were going somewhere.

He looks up and his eyes widen when he sees where they are.

"The Speelklok museum!" He says excitedly.

"So, you've already been here. I thought it was a possibility, we can go somewhere else instead." Jesper says quickly.

"No." He shakes his head and reaches for Jesper's arm to stop him from stepping away from him. "I always wanted to, but my father always thought it was a silly museum."

"It is a silly museum, but those are the best ones," Jesper says, smiling again. "C'mon."

They spend two hours walking around the museum, looking at all the different musical instruments. This time, no one turns to look at them twice, not even when he holds Jesper's hand, or Jesper throws his arms around him. No one cares. He feels free like he hasn't been in a long time.

When they leave the museum the sun is almost setting and they need to go back to the boat. They sit on a bench and watch the canal water, sitting so close to each other, Wylan can feel the heat from Jesper's tight against his, and his arm brushing his every time he moves.

They're breathing in sync and Wylan never wants to leave this moment.

"What happens in Utrecht, stays in Utrecht?" He hears himself say.

"I guess so." Jesper turns to him, but Wylan suddenly feels nervous and he keeps his eyes locked on his watch. Only thirty more minutes before they need to leave.

He turns to Jesper and he sees that he's looking down at his mouth. He looks down at Jesper's own lips and he notices how perfectly shaped they are. He wants to do it, he wants to kiss Jesper, wants to feel those lips against his and those fingers touching his skin, his hair, and everything at once. But he can't do it.

He gets up.

"We should go."

Jesper gets up and smiles at him. "If we leave now we should be back home by ten." It always amazes him how fast Jesper can bounce back. He always has a smile ready. It makes him sad to think this is a skill he needed to survive in the world.

He doesn't want to leave things like this, he wants Jesper to understand something that he isn't even sure what it is. But he can't think of anything to say or do, so he just walks back with Jesper.

The drive back is a lot more silent. He sits next to Jesper, reading a book, and they don't talk much. At some point, he suggests driving a little to let Jesper relax, and he agrees.

It's always so easy to be around each other, Jesper teases him and he surprises him in return. But he feels like he missed an opportunity that he might not get back.

It takes them longer than expected because of all the unnecessary breaks they make, one of them always finding a reason to stop, so when they finally get back to Amsterdam, Wylan suggests they sleep in the boat, and Jesper agrees immediately.

They go about the routine they've already established and when they go to sleep, this time they both go to the main room without discussing anything. Wylan squeezes closer to Jesper than maybe he needs to, but no one is around to see. Until they get out of the boat, they're still on their vacation.

"Good night, princeling." Jesper says, and he keeps turned towards Wylan, a challenge in his eyes.

"Night." He says and closes his eyes. He feels like he failed.

He falls asleep before he can hear the evening of Jesper's breath.  


 

* * *

Jesper wakes up late to work. Again. It shouldn't be a surprise by now, especially after he spent the whole night yesterday rolling around in bed, looking at Wylan and trying not to look at Wylan. The bed is now empty, just like yesterday. He rolls to Wylan's side and buries his face in the boy's pillow. It smells like Wylan's shampoo. A fruity smell.

He turns on his back and stares at the ceiling. He needs to get up and go to work, talk with Kaz and see what happened while they were away. He hears noise in the other room and finally gets up, Wylan is cleaning the table, but he looks up when he sees him and for some reason, he blushes.

"Hi." He says quietly. "Did I wake you?"

"No, was already awake."

"Good." They stare at each other, he doesn't know why their interactions keep going from awkward to the most natural thing he's ever done. "There's breakfast."

"Thank you." He sits down and sees that there's fresh french bread on the table, it smells delicious now that he's paying attention. "Did you go out?"

"Yeah, got some things. Figured we can take them back to your father's house."

"Did you use your credit card?"

"No, I still have money. I know I shouldn't use the credit card."

He shrugs. He knows by now that Wylan's not stupid.

"So, am I going to the Slat with you?"

"I guess I should ask Kaz first, so he doesn't chew us out again."

"I wonder if anything happened." Wylan seems nervous.

"Don't worry, if it had, I'm sure Kaz would have said something. Or Nina at least."

He gets his phone and sends Kaz a message, asking if Wylan can go with him to work. After telling him he should already be at work and that he doesn't pay him to stay at home cuddling, Kaz tells him to bring Wylan with him.

He shows the last part of the message to Wylan. "Okay, then I'm going to finish packing and we can leave."

There's not much to pack, since they only spent two days in the boat, Jesper's things are the ones more all over the place, but in half an hour they're ready to leave. They leave the bikes in the boat - Jesper can come back and get it later - Wylan wears the wig again, and then they get a car to the Slat.

When they get to the Slat only Nina is visible, sitting at a desk eating waffles while she reads some papers, she looks up when the elevator's door open and smiles when she sees them.

"Jesper! I thought you had left us, it's been so long since I saw you. Nice hair Prince." She says to Wylan, and the boy takes the wig off, looking self-conscious.

Jesper gets closer to her. "It's hardly been this long Nina darling, you know I can't stay away from you too long."

Nina shakes her head, smirking. "I won't share my waffles with you."

"I don't need to, I already ate freshly baked french bread this morning, courtesy of the little prince." He didn't intend to say that, it just left his mouth, he looks to Wylan to see the boy blushing a little.

"Awn. Aren't you two cute."

"Shut it Zenik, where's Kaz?"

"He said he's working, you should start doing that too - his words, not mine - and he will see you later."

He rolls his eyes. "Kaz Brekker, always being dramatic about his meetings."

"You can hardly call people dramatic."

"And what authority do you have on that matter? You won the most dramatic person award before I even knew it existed." He looks at Wylan and he seems lost, looking from him to Nina, and back. "Where's Matthias?" He asks.

"On the safest room." Nina says, giving him a look. Right, that means the room where they're keeping the Tutor.

"I'm gonna speak to him, Wylan, stay here." Wylan opens his mouth to speak, but Nina pulls him down to a chair next to her, offering him some waffles.

He passes Kaz's office door - which is locked - he wonders if Inej's there with him, or if she's doing something else. In cases like this, she would probably be looking for dirt on the Tutor that would get him to start talking if he hasn't yet.

He tries the door to their interrogation room and it's locked, which makes sense, they always keep it locked, even when there's someone already inside. A few seconds later Matthias opens the door, his face not showing any reaction at seeing him.

"You're back." He states.

"Wylan's here." He says quietly and Matthias nods and lets him in, closing the door after him.

The Tutor doesn't look visibly hurt, but he has big bags under his eyes and he looks thinner than before.

"Has he said anything yet?" He asks.

Matthias stares straight ahead, he's a little scary when he's like this, in the middle of a job, he closes off all his emotions. "Not yet, he keeps insisting he did it all by himself."

"And what do you think?"

He shrugs. "He's promised to give any copy he has of the pictures and he's collaborated a little so far, helped us find a hard drive he kept, but he says there are more pictures, but he will only give them away when he's free."

Jesper shakes his head at the Tutor. "That won't work with Kaz, dude. Here's what you need to do to survive this. Agree with everything Kaz suggests, and then hope Kaz don't kill you anyway." The scum flinches at this.

"I- I don't have anything else to tell you. Please let me go, my mom will be worried."

"Oh, don't worry," Jesper says. "You're on a university trip right now and you're keeping your mom informed of everything." That's true, this was part of his job. He analyzed the Tutor's conversations and saw who was most likely to miss him and then planned some messages to be sent so no one would notice anything weird.

The asshole whimpers now.

"Why don't you think a little bit more." Matthias says to him. The Tutor tries to speak again, but Matthias shoves a dirty sock on his mouth.

Jesper leaves the room and Matthias follows him, locking the door again after. Nina is now sitting on the table, talking with Wylan.

"So that was how I ended up in jail the second time."

"I can't believe I'm missing your story time." Jesper pouts at Nina, who rolls her eyes.

"Don't ruin my moment, I'm impressing a member of the royalty right now."

Wylan nods dumbly. "She's been in and out of jail since she was 15." He says to him and Matthias like they haven't heard her stories a million times.

"She hasn't been in jail for two years now, so I think she's losing her touch." Jesper comments.

"I'm not losing my touch." Nina says at the same time Matthias says. "Thank God she's losing her touch."

"Awn Matty, I thought you loved my rebel side." Nina touches her heart, mock hurt.

"I love that you always fought for what you thought was right, but I never want to see you in jail again. That place is horrible."

The mood gets heavier at this and in a blink, Nina crosses the room to Matthias and pulls him to another room with her, closing the door behind them.

Wylan's nose pinkens a little. "Well, now I know a little about Nina, and maybe Matthias too?" He frowns. "Only Kaz and Inej left."

Jesper thinks of their weekend and he feels a chill going through his body, he gets closer to Wylan. "You can actually google Inej - and Nina too for that matter - and you will find some things about her. She wouldn't mind me telling you that, she's actually proud of it, but of course, that's not everything. I don't know everything."

Wylan looks puzzled, but they hear a knock behind them as Kaz appear behind them, so he doesn't say anything else.

"Jesper. Wylan." Kaz grits out. "It's good to have you here." He says to the later. "I have something to ask you." For a second he doesn't say anything.

Jesper wonders if Kaz saw a TED talk on that at some point - how to intimidate and make someone tell you everything you want. No. He probably wrote that TED talk.

"While you've been away on your little… romantic getaway." Jesper refuses to feel embarrassed, he doesn't even dare to look at Wylan. "We had another meeting with Van Eck. This time, the King received an email asking for money - 50 million this time - paid by next Saturday so he could have his son and the pictures back. He seemed to believe it, but he still wasn't sure it was the same person. Until he received more pictures from this person, of course. His reaction has been… really interesting. He said he needs to think about it before making any commitment."

Kaz pauses to look at Wylan, who seems to have lost his voice, and then at Jesper, who can't take his eyes off Wylan.

"So, we have two options here. The first one, you could disappear."

"What?" Wylan squeaks.

"We could forge your death and you could live somewhere else for the rest of your life. We could even say your father paid the money, but they killed you anyway."

"But Raphael would go to jail then."

Kaz's eyes gleam. "The second option, and I'm ignoring several smaller unimportant other options here, would be to look into your father."

Jesper's hand goes to Wylan's shoulder. He knew where this was going, he saw the pattern, but he still hoped Kaz wouldn't suggest it.

Wylan seems to have lost his voice again. Kaz walks around the room. "It's interesting that your father didn't seem concerned about your kidnapping, he didn't even think it was real. And then, when he found out it was real, he still didn't think it was the Tutor's fault, - of course, he doesn't know yet the Tutor is the one involved in all this - but he still didn't think it was the same person. Even now, when he got the confirmation, he still didn't seem sure."

"Maybe-" Wylan's voice cracks. "Maybe he just doesn't care about me."

"No, I don't think it's just that. He seemed more nervous now than ever before. Before this, he seemed angry, but never worried. It's like this is getting out of his control."

"So you think- you think he's Raphael's partner."

Kaz turns to Wylan, tilting his head to the side. "Maybe. I need more information."

"And you need my permission for that?" Wylan sounds doubtful. _Jesper_ is doubtful.

"You're my client. He's your father. It's your choice."

Wylan shakes his head, his curls touching Jesper's arm, he's so close to him now, like he can protect him from any of this just by being close.

"Why am I your client? My father is the one paying you. You should be telling him you found out about his plan, and suggest him a better way to… do whatever it is he's trying to do."

Kaz seems annoyed now. "It doesn't matter why I'm doing this. If you want me to go to your father, I will do it then."

"No," Wylan says. "I- if my father is involved in any of this, if he tried to out me, and humiliated me for being caught kissing another boy when it was his plan all the time, then I want to know. He didn't even care when I was kidnapped." He says as an afterthought. "Thank you, Kaz."

Kaz rolls his eyes, but Jesper can see he looks pleased like he knew this would happen. Jesper looks from him to Wylan, frowning.

"You did it on purpose." He points at Kaz. "You wanted Wylan to be here when you told his father he was kidnapped so he would hear him being horrible about it." He takes a step closer to Kaz, feeling angry.

Kaz doesn't even try to lie, his eyes stay focused on Wylan. "I did what I had to do."

"That was a horrible thing to do, and Wylan was just now thanking you for it."

Kaz turns to him now, annoyed again. "Sheltering him from the world isn't actually going to protect him. You know how we do things here Jesper." He looks at the end of the corridor, where they know the Tutor is. "You never had a problem with it before, don't start now."

Jesper considers punching him in the face - Kaz seems to be bracing himself for it. He doesn't know when to stop messing with people, but you shouldn't mess with people's families. But Kaz _is_ right, he does know how things are done here. He's done his fair share of horrible things.

"I don't like being manipulated," Wylan says, and they both startle and look at him, who's now standing next to them. Of course, like everything he says, it sounds genuine. "But I still think I needed to hear my father saying that or I wouldn't want to believe he was ever involved in this, I probably would've just told him everything you told me otherwise. Now I need to know the truth. Only then I will be able to decide what I want to do with my life; if I want to disappear or not."

Kaz nods. "Inej." He calls out and she comes out of his room. "We have work to do." Jesper doesn't doubt even for a second that Kaz was already working on it. "Jesper, you can stay here and work for a change. Someone tried to contact the Tutor a couple of times, but we couldn't find out who it was. Do that."

He just nods at Kaz. He still doesn't feel like being nice to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway I love Nina and Kaz - he's just /trying/
> 
> Next: Kaz uncovers some secrets...


	6. If God Be With Us Who Can Be Against Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaz uncovers some secrets...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters I think.

Jesper wakes up with his phone buzzing, he gets it from where he put it on the bedside table and sees Kaz's name flashing on the screen.

 

**Everyone at work at 8h.**

**We're going on a little field trip.**

**I found something interesting about Van Eck.**

**Jesper, bring Wylan with you and make him wear that wig again.**

 

He groans and looks at the time, he has one hour to get ready and be there. He wants to go back to sleep, but now that he's awake he can hear music coming from downstairs. It sounds like a flute. Curiosity makes him get up and go downstairs, only wearing his briefs, to check it out.

He wonders what Kaz found. Yesterday Jesper worked until almost midnight, but he wasn't able to find who was trying to contact the Tutor. Vigilance on the Tutor and his mom's house also didn't show any weird movement, so anything Kaz found must have come from Inej and whatever she had been doing the whole day.

When he gets downstairs he sees Wylan standing in front of Colm - who's sitting on the couch - playing the flute to him. His father seems delighted, his eyes crinkling like Jesper hasn't seen since- in years.

Any thought on his mind vanishes immediately. Wylan plays with so much emotion. He never thought particularly much about flutes. They seemed like boring instruments, he was more of a percussion person, drums especially. But Wylan can go from a calming song to a happy song in a flash. He seems so light and relaxed as he plays, Jesper can see that this is truly what he loves to do. He was born for that.

His father claps when Wylan plays a particularly happy song, and the boy shakes his head, looking down, his ears red. When he looks up he sees Jesper standing there and his whole body turns red.

"Je-Jesper." He splutters.

His father turns his head around, his eyes soft, but they harden when he sees him. "Put some clothes on, son, honestly, we have the prince here with us."

That's when Jesper remembers he's still only wearing his briefs. That explains why Wylan got so red. He feels a little embarrassed, but instead of showing that or going to put some clothes on, he takes a step closer to Wylan - who takes one back, almost stumbling over a pillow on the floor.

"That was nice princeling, why wasn't I invited to this private concert?"

"If you woke up early you would have been." His father gets up and starts pushing him out of the door. "Now go be presentable."

He obeys him and quickly gets dressed, running downstairs when he's done. His father and Wylan are now having breakfast - the leftover french bread from yesterday. Wylan keeps his eyes focused on his tea, his ears reddening the only sign he's aware of Jesper.

"Did you receive a message from Kaz?" He asks Wylan, casually. Wylan doesn't seem to notice he's speaking to him, so he repeats the question, saying his name this time.

"Oh, I don't know." The boy gets his phone from his pocket and then turns to Colm. "Excuse me, Mr. Fahey."

"No problem, son." His father says.

"You never say 'no problem' when I use my phone at the table."

"You're always with your phone at the table, and you never ask my permission." His father answers, he can see that he's suppressing an eye roll.

"I see you already have a new favorite, da."

Now his father smiles. "I'm sure you don't mind sharing him a little."

He feels his ears getting warm. He wonders if blushing is contagious and that's why he's been doing it so much lately.

"So Kaz already found something," Wylan says and he turns to him. "That was quick." The prince frowns.

Jesper snorts.

"What?" Wylan asks him, his eyes big.

Jesper opens his mouth to say a lie, but instead, the truth comes out. "I bet Kaz spent the weekend getting dirt on your father. He only asked for your permission for show, he already had everything he wanted." He looks at his father to see his reaction to this, but he doesn't show anything on his face. His father would be a better poker player than Jesper ever was. He will be sure to mention that to his therapist, she will love to see him recognizing how bad he was at any card game.

"You think that?" Wylan asks. "No, don't need to answer, you're right, of course."

"Are you upset?" He asks him, quiet.

"It doesn't matter."

Jesper wants to say that it does matter. It was another person manipulating him and that's not right. But that's Kaz. Jesper's used to it. He looks at his father and then looks back at his plate. He says nothing more.

He helps Wylan put on the black wig after breakfast and he's sad to see his ruddy gold hair disappear, but he does look nice with black hair too. He fears he would think Wylan looks nice even bald.

"You would like nice even bald." He hears himself say to try to cheer Wylan up a little.

"I don't know, I don't have such a nice face like you do. _You_ look nice without any hair." He looks down at Wylan, surprised. The princeling is bitting his lip, staring him right in the eyes. "Your face is perfectly symmetrical, some studies say that that's what makes people attractive."

For once in his life, he doesn't have words. No one has ever complimented him so boldly and with so much sincerity. There's definitely flirting in Wylan's tone, but mostly, it seems like he had to say those words because they're true to him.

His phone buzzes again in his pocket and he blinks, his hands are still on Wylan's head, adjusting the wig.

"Can you get that for me? It's probably Kaz, telling me off for being late. You can tell him that putting a wig is not as easy as it seems."

When Wylan goes to reach for his front pocket, that's when he realizes where he will be touching him. He feels aware of every hair on his body. When Wylan doesn't say anything he looks down to see that his face is frozen looking at the screen.

"Is not Kaz?" He asks. Who could it be?

Wylan cleans his throat. "It's your girlfriend." He puts the phone back in Jesper's pocket and gets up. "I can finish this, you can go answer her."

Jesper lets him go and reaches for his phone, frowning.

 

**Are you busy tonight?**

**I thought we could meet ;)**

 

It's from Maddie. He tells her he's going on a work trip and he doesn't know when he will come back and then turns to Wylan, who's looking at himself on the mirror, focusing on his wig like his life depends on it.

"You really look good with black hair." He tries.

"You already said that." Wylan says grumpily.

"Well, it's true. And that wasn't my girlfriend." He doesn't say anything else.

It's clear that he has something with her, but they're not dating. He's also not dating Wylan. If he was dating Maddie, he wonders if what he did with Wylan would be considered cheating. Nina would know, he might ask her later. He and Wylan didn't kiss or anything, but it still felt more intimate than a lot of his one night stands.

He touches a fake curl on Wylan's head. He looks a little bit less grumpy, but still not his normal self. Jesper wants to kiss his pouting lips so much he has to bite his lips to restrain himself.

"C'mon sunshine, let's find out once and for all what Kaz's planning."

Wylan's eyes roam his face and he nods. "Let's end this."

His heart squeezes at this, but he follows him outside. He got the bikes yesterday, and now they use them to go to the Slat. They will have to leave them there while they're on the trip, but he doesn't think his father will miss them.

When he gets in the office everyone seems to be waiting for them.

"Finally Your Majesty came. And you too Wylan." Nina says.

Wylan sneakers and Kaz rolls his eyes. "Let me fill you both in quickly, the car is already waiting for us. We looked into Van Eck's bank accounts and we found out that he sends money every month to another account. He's been doing that for more than 10 years. Anything comes to mind, Wylan?"

The boy shakes head. "No, I can't think of anywhere he might be sending that money."

Kaz nods. "So we're going there to investigate."

Jesper frowns. Kaz wouldn't be bringing them all to somewhere he isn't even sure is going to be of any use when they could be here working on something else. Usually, he would send Inej or just go with Matthias.

"Kaz-" He starts, but Kaz cuts him.

"Let's go, we don't have time to spare."

He sighs and follows them out. At least he will be there if Wylan needs him or he just needs to punch Kaz in the face for hurting anyone.  


 

* * *

Wylan doesn't know what he's doing. He's following Kaz to another city where they might find something about his father. Kaz has apparently been planning this for a while and he's scared of what he might find. What could his father be hiding?

This city they're going is as far away from Amsterdam as they can go without leaving the Netherlands, it takes them three hours to get there. Yesterday he was seeing new places with Jesper and having fun, now he feels like he's going to throw up at any second. He sits next to Jesper on the car and at some point, he ends up holding Jesper hands, if it's to stop Jesper from fidging or to comfort himself he doesn't know.

The city is beautiful but he barely even notices it. Kaz leads them through the path like he knows exactly where they're going. He wonders if Kaz knows what they're going to find.

He walks faster to catch up to Kaz who's ahead of the group even with a cane. "Have you come here before?" He asks him when he can.

"In this city?" Kaz says. "Sure."

"But do you know what we're going to find?"

Kaz looks at him. "Yes."

He stops and Kaz stops too. "What is it? What has my father done?"

"Does it matter if I tell you now? In a few minutes, you will see for yourself."

"But you said- you lied! I deserve to know."

Kaz makes a gesture with his hand and he notices the others taking a step back. "I agree with you, that's why you're going to find out for yourself. Now, let's go."

Kaz keeps walking without looking back and Jesper runs up to meet him.

"Everything alright?" He asks.

"I don't know if I want to see this."

"If you want to go back, we will. Screw Kaz's schemes."

He looks up and sees that Kaz is still walking ahead, maybe a little slower than before, like he's sure Wylan is going to catch up to him.

He wants to accept Jesper's offer and ran away. His eyes still on Kaz, he reaches out and catches Jesper's hand. "No, I need to know." He starts walking again, pulling Jesper with him.

They finally stop at a house with brick walls, identical to the other ones around it, nothing special, nothing that points out that this might change his life. He feels his hands shake and Jesper squeezes his hand. Kaz knocks on the door and after some time a woman opens it.

It doesn't take him even a second to recognize her. She still has the same hair - although with some white hairs that she didn't have before - and the elegance and posture of a queen.

His mother.

"Hello." She says, looking at Kaz. "What can I help you with?"

Everyone else is far away enough that she isn't even looking at them, probably thinks that they're just hanging out outside.

"Marya Hendricks? I came to talk to you."

Her eyes widen. "How did you find me? Who are you?" She looks around him and her eyes pass through Inej, Matthias, Jesper, and finally, they find his. Her hands fly to her mouth and he thinks he sees her eyes water, but that's ridiculous. She left him, she knows where he lives, she could have come to him any moment. "What-"

"Can we come in Miss Hendricks? We have a lot to talk and I'm sure you don't want to discuss this in the middle of the street." Kaz interrupts her.

She nods and let them in, numb. Nina, Inej, and Matthias go in first, Jesper seems to want to wait for him, but he can't take his eyes away from her to look at him, and in the end, Kaz pulls Jesper inside the house and he's alone with her, his hands cold.

She steps fully outside and pulls the door closed behind her.

"Wylan-" She starts, but he shakes his head.

He doesn't understand what's happening. Has his father been sending her money for ten years now? He's known where she was all this time and he hasn't told Wylan? Is this another one of his tricks? But the worst thing is, she's here. He never thought he would see her again and he was kind of glad, maybe she had even died by now. He thought he had made peace with it, but all the memories and thoughts swirling in his head seem to tell a different story.

"How could you leave me?"

She closes her eyes. "There's nothing I can say that-"

"You're right. There's nothing you can say. I don't know what kind of games Kaz is playing, but this is pointless, I should go back home."

"Please." She takes a step closer to him and he lets her. "Please, let me explain. I know you're hurt, but I can explain myself and maybe you can forgive me one day. I've dreamed of seeing you again so many times." Now he can see the tears leaving her eyes. "Please, come inside so we can talk."

He swallows and nods. If he feels like he can't handle this anymore, he can leave. Nothing else that was bothering him matters now, everyone finding out that's he's gay or having to run away to be free, those things are meaningless next to finally being able to confront his mother.

As soon as he gets inside the house, he flinches. On the walls, there are pictures of him, painted images of him as the child she left, and now too, as the man she never met. Everyone is in the living room and he can see how awkward they feel - except for Kaz, who only seems a little bored.

Marya offers tea and biscuits to everyone and then they're sitting squeezed on the couch in the living room. He can't open his mouth, the ability to talk feels as alien to him as the woman sitting in front of him so most of the talk ends up being done by Jesper and Kaz.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?" Marya asks Kaz, but her eyes are still fixed on Wylan. He wants to say he knows that because of his peripheral vision, but in reality, he keeps looking back at her every five seconds like if he takes any longer she will disappear again.

"We're investigating Van Eck." Kaz says.

"Are you from the police?"

Jesper snorts. "We're pretty much the opposite, but your son trusts us, so you can too."

She turns to look at Jesper, and then Kaz. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

"Why does Van Eck sends you money every month?"

"Is this how you found me?" She asks and Kaz nods. "Well, we made a deal many years ago. I need money and he sends me."

Kaz's eyes bore into hers, but she doesn't say anything else. "Perhaps you need to know a little bit more of what's happening." He says. "Right now we think Van Eck is involved in blackmailing his own son, we need to know everything we can about him, and if maybe he has done this before."

"Blackmailing?" She turns to Wylan. "What's going on?"

"That's for Wylan to tell you if he wants to." Kaz says and Wylan is thankful for that. "But we need your collaboration to help him."

"Of course." Her eyes in determinations and she turns to Wylan, catching him looking at her. "Wylan, do you want to hear it first, privately?"

"No." He shakes his head, he doesn't want to have to hear whatever it is many times, and he doesn't want to be alone with her right now. "You can say whatever you have to say here."

She turns her eyes to her lap. "Twelve years ago I found out Jan committed a terrible crime. He blackmailed me, threatened me, told me to disappear and never come back or get in touch with Wylan." She says this part to him, her eyes pleading.

Disappear. His father told her to disappear. Just like he told him to. But should he believe her? He doesn't even know who she is, who she ever was.

"What did you find out about him?" Kaz asks.

She seems nervous, holding her hands in her laps and looking around. "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Do it for your son." Kaz says.

Her eyes suddenly turn hard. "Everything I did was for Wylan, to protect him."

Wylan feels his heart beats faster. Why wasn't she there then when his father was making his life a living hell?

"Then do this one more thing for him." Kaz says.

She closes her eyes. "Alright. Jan, he… he killed his own father."

Wylan's heart stops. His father killed- he gets up. He can't think about it.

"I'm going to wash the dishes." He doesn't even know if there are plates to be washed, but he almost runs to the kitchen and when he gets there he sees there isn't he takes the clean ones and throws them in the sink. He hears steps behind him and he turns to see Jesper standing by the door, silently watching him. He can still hear the voices from the living room so he turns back to the sink, silently allowing Jesper to stay, begging him to watch his back for him.

"I should follow him-" His mother's anxious voice.

"No need to, Jesper's got it covered." Kaz's voice assures her.

Kaz proceeds to ask her every detail of what she found out and how exactly her confrontation with Jan happened, and what were the terms of their deal. All this time, his father has been paying her so she wouldn't even leave the house and no one could find out where she was, and in return, he wouldn't do anything to Wylan like he had threatened to do. His own father had killed his grandfather and then threated Wylan's life.

The longer he hears everything, the more detached he feels; like he's hearing the plot of an unrealistic tv show and not his own life. She can't be talking about his father, can she? Would he really be capable of doing all this? Making Wylan's life hell is one thing, but _killing_ people?

When the plates are done he thinks of throwing them back in the sink, but Jesper steps up and holds his hands like he knows what he's thinking.

"Everything is going to be fine." He says. There's surety in his eyes, but Wylan still snorts, a little wetter than he intended. "Okay, everything is always going to be crap, but we keep living because sometimes there are days we can ride around a city anonymously, and nights we can spend looking at the stars."

He closes his eyes and leans against the cupboard, he wants to melt down until he's nothing and he wants this that Jesper is saying, but it doesn't seem likely that it will ever happen again. Isn't the world about to end? "It's too much." He says.

"But you got your mom back." Jesper tells him and he seems to take a step closer to him, his body heat warming Wylan up. "She cares about you. She lives surrounded by your face for fuck's sake it's kind of creepy. Although I might buy one of those if she's willing, you look really handsome in them."

He gives a weak laugh. His mom is in the other room, wanting to speak to him, waiting to catch up. Right now this is what he's going to focus on. Getting to know his mother again. He's sure Kaz will have a plan in mind already, but he doesn't want to think about it now. He can only process so much at once.

"Do you think she still loves me?" He hears himself say, childishly.

"Who doesn't love you, princeling? C'mon, I'm gonna be close by if you want me." Jesper pulls him a little in the direction of the door and he's forced to open his eyes again, although he thinks he would trust Jesper to lead him with his eyes closed to anywhere in the world. "But I'm sure you're going to want to catch up with her alone. I'll take care of Kaz, he can be a little insensitive."

He can only nod, he's so thankful for Jesper. Before Jesper can turn to leave, he holds him back and lets his head fall on Jesper's shoulder. Their time together is getting close to an end. Soon he will have to decide what he wants to do with his life and there's a chance Jesper won't be able to be a part of it. If he even wants to be. Jesper appeared in his life when he needed someone the most and he's been giving him support before he even asks and distraction when he prefers.

"Thank you." He says. Jesper says nothing about the crack in his voice, only curls his hand on his hair.

Kaz doesn't try to make them go back to Amsterdam immediately like Wylan thought he would, instead he says he will take a walk around the city and takes Inej with him, Nina and Matthias follow after. Jesper stays for a bit, but when he sees that he's okay he leaves too. And then it's only his mom and him.

He realizes at some point he's still wearing his wig and he takes it off. She recognized him even with it on.

He gets up to take a look at the pictures she has on the walls, all them of him.

"Those were the only things I took with me when I left." She gets up and walks to him. "Your father gave me thirty minutes to pack and I got all the pictures of you I could find." He can tell that she's close to crying again, but he can't make himself turn and comfort her.

"So that's why there was no picture of us." He eyes a picture of his mom and him at the palace's garden. "I thought my father had thrown them all away after you left."

"Another thing I took from you, I'm sorry. I didn't even think you might have wanted them."

He shakes his head, he's tired of blaming her, he might still resent her a little, but he can't blame her for the things his father made her do. He says this to her. "My father was the one taking things from me my whole life." He turns to her, there's so much he wants to say, he doesn't know where to start, he doesn't know how to talk with this woman in front of him. They're both not the person they were when they last saw each other. He kind of wishes everyone else was back here to make things less awkward.

"I paint too." He settles in saying. "Mostly I sketch, but I've worked with paint before."

She gives him a tentative smile, her eyes brightening for the first time. "I remember you liked to draw. I bought some of your drawings with me too, do you want to see?"

He nods and she takes him to her room upstairs, there are more pictures of him there and also unfinished drawings of the palace. He realizes that this house is a prison to her. She can't go out or someone might recognize her, his father sends her money so she doesn't need to work, how many times has she gone out in the past ten years?

She gets a box from her wardrobe and inside of it there are a lot of drawings. He doesn't remember making any of them. Some of them are confusing, but the ones on the top are kind of good. He can see his mom and his dad in a lot of these. In others, there are drawings of the palace and Maya - his mom, and now his, mare. His whole life at 8 years old.

"I have Maya now." He says, his throat feeling tight.

"I saw."

He's about to ask her where, when he realizes people talk about this on the news. There's nothing he can tell his mom that she doesn't know already, but he knows nothing about her.

"Do you still like the piano? I remember you being so excited, learning how to play." She asks him.

"I prefer the flute now." He says quietly.

"Oh, I've always loved the flute."

He feels himself smile. "I- I have it here with me, do you want me to-?"

His mom nods enthusiastically. "Yes, please."

They go downstairs where his satchel is and she sits with her back straight on the couch like she's about to see a concert. He feels his hands shake as he opens his satchel and gets his flute.

He didn't need to be nervous. She recognizes the first song he plays and tells him is one of her favorites, he plays some of his favorites that she doesn't know, and then lets her suggest what to play next.

That's how the dregs find them when night comes. Jesper is the first one to come back and he's excited that he's playing and tells him to keep going, suggesting some modern tunes and making him flustered by praising him. Nina and Matthias come back next and Jesper is the one to open the door so he can keep going, they sit on the couch and don't interrupt him. Only when Kaz and Inej come back he stops, physically incapable of keeping going.

"We need to go back today." Kaz says, he's looking at the room, but Wylan knows it's for him.

Part of him considers just staying here, never going back to the palace as long as his mother doesn't mind. But he still has unfinished business at home. He still doesn't want to think about his father, but he knows he's going to have to at some point.

He can see his mom, look at her face for the first time in ten years, and see how much his father has made they both lose. She has loved him from afar all these years, wanting desperately to be back to him, but not able to. He knows he wants to have a relationship with her, he wants to tell her things about him that no one else knows, he wants her to be a part of his life.

He can see his half-sister and half-brother and he knows he wants to be a good big brother to them, he wants to read to them and protect them when he can, and hopefully teach them a little bit about focusing on what they're good at, instead of what they can't do.

He can see his life at college. That was the first place he felt free, the first place he could be himself, but it's not the only one anymore. There's so much he knows he wants to study. Music, art, math. His curiosity sometimes feels like it has no end, he will never be able to find all the answers to the questions he has, but being locked up somewhere won't make him find them.

And then there's Jesper, who, in so little time, became a person so important to him. With Jesper's friends and family, he found that people don't judge him like he expected them to; like he thought everyone always did. There's so much he wants to know about Jesper. He seems more interesting than the outer space, and he would gladly spend his whole life exploring him, finding out things about him that Jesper doesn't even know himself, and in return learning about himself too and sharing everything with Jesper. He doesn't know how much of that is possible, but he _knows_ that he wants to try.

He wants to keep knowing Jesper even after the mess that he's in right now is resolved. He doesn't want him to be a part of his past, a memory. Jesper brings a boldness in him that he always tried to repress. He likes who he is around him, and he hopes Jesper feels the same way.

So he knows what he's doing here and he knows what he has to do next. He's not going to run away from Van Eck and he will confront him for all that he made him lose, including his own hope sometimes. He will fight for his family and for a chance to get to know Jesper better.

"Let's go home." He says to the room and then he turns to his mother. "I will see you again." He still can't call her that, mom, but he knows he will someday.

"It won't take long." She pauses like she wants to say or do something, but she just nods at him. "I don't want to hide anymore, I should have done something about that a long time ago." She looks at Kaz. "Can I know what you're going to do with the information I gave you?"

"You will know soon enough." Kaz answers, enigmatically enough.

They say goodbye and walk to the car, going back to Amsterdam. Part of his heart seems to have stayed with his mom, but he feels lighter than ever before. All the weight he always carried after his mom left him, gone. His mom loves him. She never stopped loving him, and she can now get to know this new him and love him too.

He's going to survive this.  


 

* * *

Wylan falls asleep on the car immediately, his face resting on Jesper's shoulder. Nina smirks at him from the passenger's sit, - he's in the back with Wylan while Matthias drives, and Inej and Kaz are in the other car - but he avoids her eyes, he doesn't want to let her say anything about it.

He thought Kaz would want them to go back to the Slat immediately, but he said they could go home instead and be there early tomorrow - the second part he said specifically to him.

Part of him feels like he could close his eyes now and fall asleep right next to Wylan, - screw the pictures Nina would for sure take of them - but the bigger part feels jittery like he wants to do something stupid.

It was only this morning that he saw Wylan play the flute for the first time, and then they went on a journey to the past where the princeling saw his mom again for the first time in more than ten years.

He can't believe Kaz did this, blindsided Wylan like this, he will definitely have some words with his boss about it, he knew where they were going and he lied. Things could have gone so much worse. What if Wylan's mom didn't want to see him? It would have broken Wylan's heart.

Thankfully everything ended up fine and he saw Wylan play so many more songs, he seemed lighter than he ever saw him. It's no wonder he's so tired, he must be emotionally exhausted.

Matthias stops in front of Colm's house and when Jesper tries to wake Wylan up he only snuggles closer to him, burying his nose on Jesper's neck. It's only after Jesper tickles him that he wakes up enough to go inside the house.

It's already 9 pm and the only lights on in the house, are upstairs, his father probably thinks they're not going to show up today. He knocks on the door and waits until his father opens it, the time it takes is almost enough for Wylan to go back to sleep. While standing. He's ridiculous.

He can only make Wylan walk until the couch before he falls back asleep, curling up like a cat. Jesper covers him with a blanket and goes to the kitchen, where his father is heating up some food for him since he said he was starving.

"You take good care of him, son." Colm says when he steps into the kitchen, and he realizes his father was watching him this whole time.

"He's a grumpy toddler if I don't." He says off-handed.

His father hums and pours them both a cup of tea.

"He's good to you. You seem more centered, even happier."

He tries to snort, but he can't. It's ridiculous, but it's true. Being around Wylan is better than going to see his therapist - which is actually not that hard to achieve, he always feels like crap after seeing her.

"I just want you to be prepared, as much as I think your feelings are reciprocated - no Jesper, I'm serious. I know this is none of my business and this is the only thing I'm ever going to say about this, but I'm not too fond of the chances of this having a bad ending. I don't want you to suffer, you deserve to be happy."

He snorts. "Da, I haven't been happy in a very long time." He had been thinking about talking with his father, the whole car ride he thought about confronting his father on all the resentment he has towards him, but he didn't intend to say it like this. It just spilled out of his mouth, like these words have been formed and ready to for a long time and he never realized it. He already knows what his next words need to be.

His father's eyes widen. "Jesper-"

"No, let me talk. You never let me talk. You always start talking, and then you seem to achieve your emotional limit, so you end the talk before I even have my chance. I'm not giving you the whole blame, but you never knew what to do after ma died." He sees his father flinch, so he keeps going, louder. "See, you never want to talk about it, you banned her from our house."

"That's not true." His father says weakly.

"There are no pictures of her here, we never speak her name. It's like Aditi Hilli was never alive."

"Please Jesper, I can't do it. She was the love of my life. I couldn't protect her. It was my fault and I don't like to relieve it."

He shakes his head. "She was my mother! I was 7 years old, and one day my mother was tucking me in bed, and the next day she was in the hospital and then she died. I needed to talk about my mother. Did you know I never know if the memories I have of her are real or not? I used to ask you about it and when you couldn't remember I would be happy cause that meant it was something I remembered from living it and not from you telling me. But you always closed up when I did it so eventually, I stopped. You taught me how to lie and hide my feelings and thoughts from a very young age."

"It was never my intention." His father seems shocked. "It hurt- but you're right. I should have told you stories about her anyway, talked about her, I'm so sorry, Jes. But- you're happy now, aren't you?"

He sighs. "I haven't gambled in a year if that's what you mean. I also haven't drunk anything, but my therapist says I'm becoming a workaholic instead. So, you know, I might die from a stress heart attack now."

"You barely went to work this last week." His father says, confused.

"Um, that's right. Wylan needed me more." At least that's the reason he gave to himself and to everyone else, but he wonders now if he needed Wylan too.

They stay in silence for a moment and then his father says. "Your mom's anniversary is coming up, do you want to go visit her tomb with me?"

Jesper blinks in surprise. She's buried in their hometown and he hasn't visited her in five years. At first, he didn't want his father to come live in Amsterdam because he didn't want him to leave her alone, but his father didn't seem bothered, and he wondered at the time if he didn't love her anymore. Now he thinks it was probably just as painful for him as it was for Jesper living in the same house she was once alive in and constantly going to places where she lived and breathed.

He nods in agreement to his father, it's the only thing he can do. They're going to see her again and share their memories of her and commemorate that once Aditi Hilli was alive and it was the best thing it ever happened. But for now, that's all they need to say.

His father bids him goodnight and goes upstairs, and he stays for a couple more minutes in the kitchen before going to the living room to wake Wylan up. When he gets there he sees that the Prince's eyes are open and he finds doesn't even feel surprised, he was screaming at some point after all.

"I'm sorry," Wylan says when they make eye contact, "I woke up and I didn't want to move and make you stop talking. I tried not to listen, but-"

He interrupts him. "I wasn't being too quiet." He sits down on the floor and rests his face on the couch's arm next to Wylan's head. "It's all right, I don't mind. Now we know more about each other than the average people do."

"I like the sound of that." Wylan yawns.

He smiles and bops him on the nose. "You're such a baby."

Wylan scrunches his nose. "I'm not a baby, I'm a morning person."

He makes a face. "Don't speak those words in my house."

"This isn't your house, it's your father's house."

"You're too smart for someone who's only half-awake." He breathes in, it's so silent in the house. "Did you like today?"

"Yeah. I'm so glad my mom is alive and wants to get to know me." He says openly; like his brain-to-mouth filter is not awake yet.

Jesper was ready to talk shit about Kaz or the King for what they did, but he stops himself. "You're right. You got her back." Wylan's eyes turn sad and Jesper pokes him on the cheek. "I'm not talking about that. I have my father, he's the best parent I could hope for."

"Even with all the mistakes…" Wylan says wistfully. "I miss the times when we thought our parents were perfect."

"Those were good times, but I guess we all have to grow up at some point." His heart aches, seeing Wylan looking so comfortable on his couch, he wants to join him and never leave. Instead, he gets up. "Let's go to bed."

As he's leading Wylan to the spare room he remembers that his conversation with his father started with Wylan and he wonders if he heard any part of that and what he would think of Colm's assessments.

When they get to the door Jesper lingers for a moment and then leans down and kisses Wylan goodbye on the cheek, he ignores the boy's disappointed look and moves on to his own room.

How much longer is he going to have the princeling under his roof? Just a couple of steps away and making him so aware of his presence all the time? He lies in bed and stares at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about his mom and his father and wishing he was back at the houseboat with Wylan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marya and Aditi deserved so much better, one day I'll write a story where they get to do and be everything they wanted
> 
> Next: Wylan breaks.


	7. Forward, Upward, Onward Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wylan breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is so late!! Have fun!!

Next day Jesper wakes up to find Wylan and Colm in the kitchen again, talking. He's getting used to seeing them together, he doesn't know what it's going to be like when he goes back to only seeing Wylan on TV or magazines. But that's not something he wants to think about right now. Or ever. So he puts a smile on his face and makes himself seen.

"Good morning, family."

"Morning Jes." His father answers, Wylan only gives him a smile. "You going to work today?"

"Of course, I'm sure we have a lot to do. But you might want to say goodbye to Wylan, da, who knows when you're going to see him again."

"No need to say goodbye, Mr. Fahey, I'm sure we will see each other again." Wylan says to his father and then glares at Jesper. "Now, _Jesper_ , I'm not sure when I'm going to see again."

"You can't stay away from me, babe."

Wylan blushes. "I survived the last 20 years."

"That's a lie. You haven't even lived that long."

"If you count the time on the womb, yes I have."

"Well, that's a complex discussion I'm not ready to have at six in the morning. I hate mornings." Wylan smiles at him and opens his mouth, but Jesper covers it with his hand before he can say anything. "Don't even say it."

His father gets up, shaking his head. "I'm going to leave you kids to it, I'm too old for this."

"Da!" He drops his hand and covers his eyes. "So embarrassing."

Wylan pats him on the head. "You'll survive." He keeps patting his head. "Um, this is nice."

Jesper uncovers one eye and looks at him. "My head is nice?"

"Yeah, it's the buzzcut, kind of feels like touching a carpet."

"Oh, thank you, Your Highness, I love when I'm compared to inanimate objects."

Wylan drops his hand, his face getting red. "I mean it in a nice way."

Jesper snorts, but he wants to put Wylan's hand back in his head, instead, he gets up and pours himself some coffee.

"No concert today?" He asks Wylan.

"No, not today. I'm _so_ tired."

"I'm sure you can find other ways to entertain us." He only half means it as an innuendo.

"I can definitely be creative." Wylan says and he sees that challenge in his eyes again. He swallows.

"So," he changes the subject. He doesn't know when he became such a coward. "Have you decided what you're going to do? You know, about everything."

Wylan frowns and looks down at his plate, Jesper immediately regrets saying anything. "I want my mom to be back with me, that's the only thing I've decided."

"What about your father?" He asks because he can't shut up.

"I don't know, I don't want to think about it. Maybe after I talk to him we can work it out."

"Maybe." He doubts it, but he's not going to say anything. If the princeling wants to believe there's still a chance to end this peacefully with his father, the only thing he can do is be there when everything comes crashing down. "We could go somewhere today, after the Slat." He doesn't say it might be the last time they hang out, but Wylan looks up and he can see that he's thinking it.

"That would be nice." Wylan agrees. That look in his eyes again, the unpredictable one that makes Jesper feel like he's standing on the tip of his toes, not knowing what's going to happen next. He looks away, like the coward that he is.

They get ready mostly in silence and it's comforting in a way. Wylan makes him another cup of coffee because he knows how Jesper needs caffeine to wake up, and Jesper passes him his satchel when they're ready to leave. They've spent enough mornings together now to know each others morning routines.

Wylan passes through the wig in the coffee table but doesn't put it on and Jesper doesn't suggest him to, and then they get on their bikes and they're off to work. He keeps taking side glances at Wylan and almost hitting every obstacle on his way, but he doesn't even mind, he just wants to commit every little detail to memory. When he was a kid he used to paint sometimes with his mom who was always so talented at creating things from nothing, after she died, he never touched paint again but now he wishes he had, he doesn't think a picture alone would be able to capture the morning light on Wylan's bright hair or the tiny smile on his face as he looks at the people around them starting their day. But nothing would probably be able to compare to the real thing, so he keeps looking.

No one is in sight when they get to the Slat, but this time Jesper is right on time, so he's not worried. They open the main reunion room, but there's no one there; they open the other reunion room and it's also empty, and that's when Jesper realizes they might be in the interrogation room - also known as the room they're keeping the Tutor at.

"Um, why don't you go to the kitchen get some coffee for me while I see where everyone is?" Wylan frowns but does as he says.

He can hear voices outside the door, but when he knocks everyone shuts up and then he's face to face with Nina.

"Oh, hi. You're early." She says.

"I'm right on time." He says, defensive.

"Exactly."

"Let him in." Kaz says from inside and Nina lets him in.

He immediately notices how cramped it is with everyone inside. Inej and Matthias are leaning on opposite walls, and Kaz is standing in front of the Tutor, - wearing his threatening gloves - who doesn't look nearly as scared as someone should be when all tied up in the same room as Kaz.

"I already told you, I can't say anything or I'll be killed." The tutor says, sounding a little annoyed.

Jesper arches his eyebrows. "I see we progressed."

"We're just about to start telling him stories of people who didn't tell Kaz what he wanted, and what happened to them." Inej says.

"Oh, are you going to tell him that one about the cleric? Can I tell it? I love that one."

The tutor interrupts them. "How many times do I have to say that if I say anything, I die."

"Do you keep a secret for a guy that might kill you if he ever sees you again, or tell the truth to the guy that has you now and will kill you?" Matthias wonders.

"I would definitely tell him." Jesper advises. He loves this part of the job where they're all just bluffing.

From the little he knows about Kaz, he knows that he did do some of the things he only threatens to do with people now, but that was before his older brother got a good job and they started having an honest life. Jesper wonders what person he would be if he had met that Kaz instead of the one he knows now.

"Anyway," he says when it looks like the Tutor isn't going to say anything else. "The Eagle is here."

"The Eagle?" Kaz asks.

"You know, the princeling, Wylan." Jesper answers.

"Shouldn't it be the lion? You know, the symbol of the monarchy?" Nina wonders.

"Well, that's too obvious." He says.

"Maybe a wolf, them." Matthias suggests.

"Or a crow." Inej adds.

"Point is, what are we going to do about him? I thought I was supposed to bring him in today."

"You were." Kaz says, taking off his gloves. "It's time for us to come clean to the princeling." The Tutor makes a noise and Kaz gives a pair of socks to Matthias. "Gag him."

They leave the room and walk to the entrance where Wylan is sitting, holding Jesper's coffee.

"Thank you." He says to him when he gets the coffee. "I'm gonna need this."

"What's going on?" Wylan asks them.

Everyone sits down, but Jesper can't make himself do it, what will happen after Kaz tells Wylan everything? Will he feel betrayed by Jesper? After everything that happened to him, Jesper shouldn't have hidden this from him, screw Kaz. Wylan needed to know where the Tutor was so he could heal himself. Now it's too late for him to do the right thing.

"Is this about my father?" Wylan asks. "Is he here?"

"Your father isn't here. We don't know how much this involves him." Kaz watches Wylan and Jesper wants to tell him to go on with it. "We brought Raphael in for questioning." Is what he finally says. Not how Jesper would put it, but…

"You brought- and he came voluntarily." Wylan states, his voice funny.

"He's been very well treated during his time here." Kaz says again, casually.

"His time-? Fuck. You _kidnapped_ him?" Wylan's voice wavers.

"No one kidnapped anyone. He thought it was best to stay here. For his safety."

"Right." Wylan laughs. "Has he told-?" He waves his hand around and then shrugs.

"Not yet." Wylan and Kaz stare at each other like they're having a whole discussion, Jesper wonders if it's possible to have a silent talk with someone you barely know.

"I want to speak with him." Wylan finally says.

"No." Jesper hears himself saying.

Wylan turns his eyes to him and they're cold and emotionless, it hurts, but Jesper expected it. Wylan breaks the stare and turns back to Kaz. "I want to do it."

"Be my guest. The last door on the left side. The key is on the door." Kaz says and Wylan gets up and walks away, not even looking back.

Jesper watches him go and only after he locks himself in the room with the Tutor does he turn back to his friends. "Are we really going to let him do that alone?"

"I don't see the problem." Nina says.

"He needs this, Jesper." Inej says with an intensity Jesper doesn't know what it's telling him.

"But-"

"I'm going to check the camera, see if he needs us to intervene." Matthias says and leaves the room too.

Jesper turns to Kaz. "That guy betrayed Wylan's trust, he used him, he shouldn't be alone with him. What if he manipulates him again?"

Kaz's eyes are as cold as Wylan's. "You heard Wylan, he wants to do this."

Jesper walks around the room. "That's you in his head, you were planning this, I don't know how you do it, but you're always a step ahead of us."

"Look, Jesper, Wylan has survived the last 19 years of his life, and he will keep surviving when you don't see each other anymore. He's not your son, you don't need to keep protecting him. He needs to be able to confront the people that hurt him if he wants to survive this world."

Jesper grits his teeth. "That doesn't mean manipulating him into doing your dirty work."

"If you're feeling guilty about not telling him the truth, that's none of my business. You know you shouldn't have been as involved with him, to begin with."

"Like you didn't like that. You used our… friendship to manipulate the both of us."

Kaz shrugs. "Doesn't matter. You're still only mad at yourself."

Jesper wants to punch him in the face, instead, he goes get more coffee. He feels like staying in the kitchen forever, but when he hears Wylan's voice, he goes back.

"He told me everything." Wylan says as he enters the room, Matthias walking behind him. "My father paid him to take pictures of us together and whatever else he wanted'." He pauses and Jesper feels his anger rising again. "The goal was to get me to disappear, he thought I was going to get scared - as I did - and run away." Wylan looks at him and Jesper can see that his emotions are trying to spill, but he's trying to hold them back.

"Why did he hire us, then?" Nina asks.

"You were supposed to find out the Tutor did it, and then tell my father, and I guess my father would convince me to give up my right to the throne and disappear after that. He wasn't wrong, I would have done it if things had happened like that, if I found out Raphael leaked the pictures, and my father was the one who broke the news to me." Jesper can see that Wylan's hands are shaking and he wants to hold them so much he has to grip his coffee mug harder to stop himself.

"So that's why Raphael never broke, even after we found out he did it. He thought it was all part of the plan." Inej says.

Wylan nods. "Yes, but he saw that I'm not planning on running away." His face gets determined. "So he told me everything."

"And we were the ones supposed to help you hide somewhere no one would ever find you, just like your mother. And then probably also help the Tutor hide after you weren't in the way anymore." Kaz adds.

"Yeah, probably." Wylan agrees.

For a while, they all stay in silence. He can see Nina and Matthias looking at Wylan with pitty, and Inej and Kaz watching him with expectation, so he does the only thing he can think of, he gets Wylan's satchel where is it in the table, he snatches Wylan's hand and pulls him out of the room, through the stairs, and runs.  
  


* * *

He and Jesper run all the way back to Jesper's apartment. They run until Wylan starts breathing with his mouth, run until the hand that's holding Jesper's starts sweating, run until his legs cramp and his side feels like fire. They run until he doesn't know if the moisture in his eyes is from the wind or tears, run until his body hurts so much he can't think of the hurt inside, run until he feels like screaming. But he doesn't. He keeps running instead.

"He really did it." It spills out of his mouth when Jesper locks them safely inside his apartment. "My father really did all this to get rid of me." He shakes his head. "What type of father- what type of person…" He can't even finish his thought.

Who is this man he's known his whole life? The man who raised him, cared for him. The man that apparently blackmails people. Not only strangers, but his family also. Who is he?

"He wasn't just going to make me run away, he was going to torture me until I did it, I know it." His hand goes immediately to his watch and he groans in frustration when he notices it. He takes the watch from his wrist and throws it on the floor. He points at Jesper. "He's not going to manipulate me anymore."

He paces from one side of the room to the other. His father made him feel ashamed of everything he couldn't be, when he was the one that should be ashamed of himself. He wonders what else has his father done, has he killed someone else? At this point, he doesn't put it past him. What type of person kills his own father? He didn't want to think about it before, but that's what his father did. Killed someone. To get power, he would do anything.

"He made my mom leave me with him, a monster, so she wouldn't tell his secret. I wonder why he didn't just kill her." He feels frantic, hysterical. Jesper watches him from the other side of the room, not getting in his way.

He bets his father is also corrupt, stealing money from the country. Compared to everything else, this thought feels tame. But what other atrocities have his father done with his power that Wylan hasn't noticed?

He's the prince, the next in line, and he was never present in important meetings. He has no idea how much power his father has or what he's doing about it.

"I've been so naive, how did I not see that." He shakes his head.

"How would you see it?" Jesper finally asks.

"You saw it." He says. "Everyone saw that my father wasn't a nice person."

"Not being a nice person and being a killer is very different. Not even Kaz saw that coming."

"A killer." His legs feel like giving away so he sits right there on the floor, the watch is in front of him, mocking him, so he kicks it to the other side, and it stops in front of Jesper.

"What's it about this watch?" Jesper asks, picking it up.

He turns his head away, he doesn't even want to see the thing. "It was my grandfather's. My father gave it to me when I was 10. He said it was a great honor, talked about how important we are, and that my grandfather received it as a gift in the 60s. It was one of the first ever made. That was a testament to our power. He never lets me forget it. But now I know it's surrounded by blood. Like everything else around him."

When Jesper stays in silence after a while, he looks at him to see him staring at the watch, frowning.

"What?" He asks.

Jesper clears his throat. "I'm sorry. This isn't original." Wylan opens his mouth, but no sound comes out, Jesper looks up at him with desperation in his eyes. "When I came to live here, I worked at an antique store for a while - before I completely lost myself - anyway, this isn't original." There's something else he's not saying.

"And-?" He urges him.

"Fuck." Jesper sighs. "The brand in here - written in tiny letters, you can barely see - is spelled wrong, so they can't be sued for selling a fake watch. Which, they still totally can, but…"

He gets up from the floor and gets the watch from Jesper, he sees where he's pointing, but even with how much he improved his reading, he still can't read it, it's the same color as the watch, and too small, he didn't even realise there was something written in it. He throws the watch on the floor and steps on it until it breaks, and then he starts crying.

And he can't stop.

He cries for the day he woke up and his mom was gone and he didn't know why. Cries for the first time he hid on the wardrobe so his father wouldn't find him. Cries for the hours he spent trying to read the same lines, but they still didn't make any sense. He cries for every time he wasn't enough, that learning a new music piece wasn't enough, getting an A in math wasn't enough, learning a new painting technic wasn't enough.

He cries for all the hours he spent trying not to want boys, and the hours he spent feeling guilty after he kissed one for the first time. He cries for all the times he wished he was born again, this time right, this time, able to make his father proud. He cries for the first time he kissed a girl and how wrong it felt, and even then it still wasn't enough.

He cries for his lonely childhood, and the teenage years he spent feeling scared and an imposter in his own house as his father married again and started a new family, a right one. He cries because even when he spent time away from his father and started seeing how wrong the things he thought when he was with him were, when he went back to his house during summer, he was back to zero and had to learn everything again.

And he cries because all this still didn't stop him from trying to make his father proud, because, maybe, if he tried a little bit more, he could convince Jan Van Eck that he was alright.

So he's crying for all the times he didn't before, and it doesn't seem like he's stopping any time soon, he knows he's not even breathing.

He can see Jesper is freaking out, saying something, but he can't understand what it is, it feels like the tears are flooding his ears, trying to explode through his throat. Maybe he will drown and his father will finally be happy.

Jesper pushes him against the couch, and he realizes he was curled up and whimpering, Jesper makes him look at him and he's saying something, he tries to concentrate on him instead of the thoughts swirling in his head, poisoning every good thing that happened this week, this year even.

"In through the nose, out through the mouth, come on princeling, follow me. In, and out. In, and out."

He does as Jesper says and his breathing starts to regulate, Jesper gave him a cup full of cold water at some point and he doesn't even know when he got up to get it, but he drinks it slowly while Jesper sits down next to him.

"Not even 10 in the morning, and you already had a panic attack. I'm impressed."

"I try." He says weakly, his voice rough.

"Oh, hello." Jesper looks at him. "We're back."

He realizes Jesper had been talking to him all this time and he hadn't said a single word back.

"Sorry." He feels embarrassed that Jesper had to see that, but doesn't even have it in him to blush, he's too tired.

"It's okay, we all have it." Jesper whispers and strokes his hair, he lets his head fall on Jesper's shoulder and closes his eyes as the boy starts massaging his head.

"I'm still sorry for freaking out so much, I- he manipulated me." His voice breaks. "He used this watch to manipulate me. Every time I would disappoint him he would bring it out and talk about how my grandfather wore it and that I should work hard to be like him. All this time he was probably disgusted that I couldn't tell it was fake. Or he was enjoying himself, laughing behind my back as I went back to my room and tried reading again until my eyes hurt. How many times I spent awake, trying. So much." Another tear scapes him and he doesn't even try to do anything about it.

"You don't have to tell me anything else." Jesper says, still petting his hair. "You're tired. You can go to sleep."

"Sleep is not going to help me." He feels angry now and takes his head of Jesper's shoulder. "My father killed my grandfather! You don't understand this. He blackmailed my mom and- and manipulated me his whole life."

"I'm sorry. If you want to talk about it, I will listen. Do whatever you think it's necessary."

But that only makes him angrier. "Yeah, that's what you would say, when you have been using me too. I don't know what you're trying to achieve, but you've been manipulating me all this time too. First, you watch that- the sex tape. Who does that?" He can feel tears building up in his eyes again as his throat starts to hurt. "Did you jerk off to me being fucked by a guy that was using me? Was it exciting that I had no idea I was being filmed?"

Jesper flinches, but he keeps going.

"You saw that- that violation and you thought that wasn't enough, so you had to make it worse. I bet you lied when you said no one else watched. Did you make a copy?" He whispers the question, he can't even think of it, he's full on crying again. "Don't answer that, I don't want to know. But you had no right to do that! That was private. No one else should have seen it. Scratch that, no one should have seen it at all, it was a crime. And you know what, the fact that you saw it, it wasn't my fault. I know my father wants me to think it was, but it wasn't my fucking fault!"

He's screaming now, he doesn't know what face Jesper is making, because he can't look at him.

"I have the right to kiss whoever I want and not be judged for it, and not have it analyzed as something sick, wrong, twisted. I want to kiss boys, all the time! And that's not who I am, but it's a big part of me, so fuck you, fuck, fuck."

He's not saying it to Jesper anymore, he's saying it to his father, so he turns back to Jesper, and points a shaking finger at him. He can't read Jesper's face, but he doesn't want to try, the time for that has long passed.

"You lied to me. I'm tired of people lying to me like the truth is optional, like this isn't my own life. I deserve the truth! You, Kaz, your friends, my father, my mother. You keep lying to me, while asking me for the truth. That's a violation! Trust doesn't work like this, and I trusted you. You said you betrayed my trust when you watched the sex tape, but you didn't because I didn't trust you then - fuck, I still want to kill you for it - but the point is, I trusted you now, and you still didn't tell me the whole truth. Didn't tell me everything you knew about a case that had everything to do with my life, like I'm stupid, like I don't deserve to be the one to make the choices regarding myself."

Jesper seems to think he's done, because he opens his mouth to speak, but he doesn't let him.

"Fuck you, I'm not done." But he feels done, tears are still streaming freely down his face, and he wants to fall somewhere and never get up again. Maybe somewhere close to Jesper, as much as he doesn't want to admit it. "I hate crying." Is all he says. He never cries, he didn't cry when his mom left and he didn't cry a single time his father humiliated him. Is this how this always feels, like there's a tap open inside of him and water just keeps flowing, doesn't matter for how long he's been crying?

Jesper waits for him to say something else, but when he doesn't, he says. "I'm sorry. I have no excuse, I knew I shouldn't lie to you, but I chose to."

He hates this excuse, because it isn't even an excuse. He drops back to the floor and buries his face in Jesper's neck, sobbing again, the boy seems surprised for a second, but then his arms encircle him, one hand burring in his hair, and he never wants it to leave, he wants to walk around with Jesper glued to him like the most amazing monstrosity.

"Aren't you even going to say you had a contract, so you couldn't tell me the truth?" He mumbles on Jesper's skin, only half noticing the shiver he causes on him.

"We weren't doing things exactly legal, I could have told you if I wanted to. But I trust Kaz, it's not a good excuse, but I didn't think anything good would come out of you knowing where the Tutor was."

"Not being blindsided would've been nice, or not feeling betrayed."

"You're right." Jesper hugs him closer and that only makes another sob fall out of him.

"There's snot all over your shirt." He sniffs.

"The least I could do for you." Wylan snorts and buries his face further on Jesper's neck.

Maybe he's trying to suffocate himself, but he doesn't think Jesper would let him, so that's fine.

"Do you hate me now?" Jesper asks him after they change to a lying position, he resting on Jesper's arm, they're still so close, every part of him feels like it's touching Jesper.

"Yes." He says.

Jesper sighs. "That's fair. What can I do to make you hate me less?"

Never leave me. Fight with me. Make me laugh. "Tell me a story." He says instead.

"Okay." Jesper hums and he turns on his side, facing Jesper, as he stares at the ceiling. "Once upon a time, in a city called Ketterdam-"

"Ketterdam?"

"Shh." Jesper puts his finger on Wylan's mouth and his eyes sparkle, it's enough to make Wylan's heart feel lighter. "In this city, lived a group of people that called themselves the dregs. One day the most handsome, intelligent and brave member of the dregs, Jesper, had a mission."

He snorts and Jesper's smile gets a little bigger.

"Brave Jesper had to go recruit a science expert, but when he gets to the place Kaz sends him, he finds a prince there. He doesn't look like a prince, because his clothes are dirty and he looks malnourished, but Jesper recognizes the blue eyes and ruddy blond curls of Prince Wylan immediately."

Jesper tugs one of his curls for emphasis.

"Jesper knew the Prince didn't belong in that story, so he asks around and finds out the Prince is being kept as a slave by an evil monster called Pekka Rollins, so he bravely frees the Prince, but unfortunately he ends up hurt by the monster. He's giving up all hope when the Prince uses a bomb that he made to explode the monster and then sits by Jesper's dying bed. Jesper says his goodbye and he's almost gone, when he feels the Prince kiss him. Immediately his wound heals and he feels good again. The Prince takes him to the castle where the Queen was looking for him, worried sick, and they get married and live happily ever after. The end."

"A little unusual, but thank you." He squeezes Jesper's hand, where is still touching his face.

"I don't see what's unusual in it."

"I mean, the prince killed the monster, that isn't exactly Disney friendly."

"You've clearly not been paying enough at attention, but we can take care of that later, because this is an original Fahey fairy tale, totally veridical."

"Of course, sorry. It was a great story, and you have a nice voice." He feels sleepy, but he doesn't want to sleep, he's afraid of what he could see in his dreams.

"Only speaking, I'm a terrible singer, didn't have all those classes you had." His face falls and Jesper pokes him on the cheek. "Sorry."

"It's okay." He pauses, he doesn't want to start again, but he needs to say. Needs to tell someone. "I wasted all this time trying to be perfect, when it didn't matter. He gave up on me so long ago, he gave me that watch when I was 10. Everything after that was just a game, waiting to see how far I was going to stand the abuse."

"But you like music, it wasn't a waste of time. If he never appreciated how good you are in so many things, that's his problem. You're a science genius and you don't even like science, you read more books in a month than I read in a year. You're amazing."

"It doesn't feel like that. I feel stupid, dumb. How did I keep trying for so long, how did I not realize sooner that he didn't care? Even yesterday, I still had some hope we could patch things up, even after I found out what he did to my mom, to my grandfather. How thick can someone be?"

Jesper frowns. "You're not stupid. You're a better person than your father and you were manipulated by him constantly, it's a cycle of abuse that's hard to break. You had to do what you needed to survive, you can't judge yourself for it, you didn't know the whole truth and you couldn't see what was happening." He can hear the embarrassment in Jesper's voice, but he doesn't want to talk about that again until he's ready to forgive him.

"The world will chew me out."

"Trusting people are not out there trying to get you is good, it gets kind of lonely otherwise." Wylan gives him a skeptic look and Jesper rolls his eyes. "Trust people, don't trust people, it doesn't matter. It was your father. Of course, you had a blind spot towards him, you wanted to make him proud, I understand that."

Jesper's voice gets tight and Wylan moves a little closer to him, even though it doesn't seem possible. "It was all I ever wanted. To make him proud." He thinks Jesper might understand it better than anyone else.

"But you have your mom to make proud now, although that's not going to be hard, she already seems really proud of you."

Wylan smiles shyly. "She does, right?" It feels weird, the warmness that thought causes him. His mom is proud of him, she watches him from afar and is proud of him. It makes him feel scared that when she gets to know him for real, she will see that there's nothing to be proud of, that he only have those accomplishments and they're not even that big of a deal.

Jesper touches the crease between his eyebrows. "Don't worry. You will see she'll always be proud of you." He says it with so much surety that Wylan believes him, Jesper has a parent that's always proud of him, maybe not always, but Jesper knows that when he has an achievement, he will be proud of him, and when he makes a mistake, his father will at least still love him.

"No matter what?" He asks anyway, voice small.

"Yeah. She will tell her friends everything that you do, and to you, she will talk about how much better than her friend's sons you are. Don't get me wrong, she will still get mad at you, but she will be proud of your bravery and the way you will try to fix things anyway. It will be amazing that she can do both things at the same time, but that's the magic of parents. The real ones."

Wylan buries himself on Jesper's neck again, his arms encircling him as Jesper's head rests against his and their legs intertwined. He really thought he had stopped crying, but it doesn't seem like it's going to stop so soon.

"Does it ever stops?" He asks Jesper, his voice wobbly.

"Eventually." Jesper sighs. "I was never much of a panic crier, I'm more the trembling, heart pounding, shaking, panicked. Spots on the vision too, that's always fun. Usually, because as much as I am hyperventilating, no air is getting in, so I black out from lack of oxygen. I usually try to look down and count in my head, breathing until it stops. It's what works best for me, but you never know what's going to work with someone else."

"Do you have these a lot?"

"Not so much now, but when I was full on in debt, I was a mess. Some days I would lose 10.000, but then the next day I could win 20.000. That instability always made me feel that no matter how bad things were, I could always make them better. So I dropped out of school so I could play more, I started doing some illegal work so I could have money to play, and then finally I lost my father's farm. Biggest panic attack of my life. I didn't even realize what I had done at first, and then they were kicking my father out of the farm and that's when it hit me. I lost us everything."

"But your father forgave you." Wylan doesn't even need him to confirm it, he sees it every day. He knows they still have issues, he heard them talking about it, but this doesn't seem to be one of their problems.

"After a while, yes. I fixed it, Kaz helped me, and later I bought him that house."

"Did you- do you still want to play?"

Jesper sighs. "Not really, it's complicated. I thought I was good, you know, even when I was losing 200.000 in a day I still thought I was a good player." He laughs. "Don't ask me how that can happen, but it's true. It's the only thing I ever thought I was good at, until I started working for Kaz. My therapist says I'm only filling the void another way, - or something like that - but at least now I'm gaining money instead of losing it. I mean, maybe addictions are like mutations, we don't call having blue eyes a disease because it doesn't harm anyone, but some mutations can. As long as this is a healthier addiction, I don't care. You know, it's a work in progress."

Wylan detaches his face from Jesper's neck to look him in the eyes. "It seems like you progressed a lot. Maybe I need the number of your therapist."

"Um, I will be sure to ask her the number of a good therapist for you."

Wylan laughs. "That would be nice."

"A nap before eating?" Jesper asks him.

He wiggles around and faces away from Jesper, Jesper's arms falling to his waist, Wylan feels his face heat, but he stays posted. "Wake me up tomorrow."

Jesper tenses a little but then scooches closer to him, burying his face in his neck. "If I'm awake by then." He says and Wylan closes his eyes, letting his breathing even out, and then falling asleep.  
  


* * *

They spend the rest of the day inside the house. Jesper can smell Wylan's shampoo in his clothes now and he doesn't mind it at all. They spent half the day cuddling on the floor and the other half cuddling on the couch. That's right, he cuddled with the Prince of the Netherlands. He feels like that deserves a banner.

He can't have a banner, so instead, he takes a picture of Wylan. He does it right in front of him, so he can say no if he doesn't want to because that boy had enough of people taking pictures of him without his consent.

So he takes pictures of Wylan eating, and one of him curled on the couch and even one of him brushing his teeth with Jesper's spare toothbrush - he sends some of those to the boy, sets the one of him brushing his teeth as his background and even sends one of those to his father. He does it in part to make Wylan blush but mostly because he wants to remember how he looks like when he's doing these things.

This day, more than any other day he spent with Wylan, feels like a dream. He feels like a stranger in his body, watching as this Jesper interacts with the fucking Prince. It doesn't feel real.

When he met Wylan he didn't feel like this, and when they went on a road trip he didn't feel like this, but waking up with Wylan awake in his arms and not wanting to leave, feels like too much, too unrealistic. And the worst part is, he doesn't want to wake up because in the real world he's the sidekick that dies in the middle of the book, he's not the boy who gets to be with the fucking prince. That just doesn't happen, it's in the law or something.

So he likes being around Wylan. He likes getting to know the princeling, and he likes who he is around him. And he wants more time with him, so much he feels desperate. He wonders if he's making Wylan into his new addiction, but that doesn't feel right. He doesn't want to compare being with Wylan to not being able to leave a card table after losing 50 thousand bucks because it's more like being with him alone in the middle of the sea, with nothing between them and the stars. It's not thinking you almost won, so if you keep playing you might actually win, it's knowing you won and if you leave you might never win again.

"Stop that." Wylan blushes as he takes a picture of the boy washing the dishes.

"What? I need proof that you know elves aren't the ones washing the dishes magically."

Wylan takes some of the water from the tap and throws it at him. "You're ridiculous. You can find pictures of me on the internet, you know." He says casually, but Jesper can see he getting even redder.

"That wouldn't be the same. But I can stop if you want me to." He pauses. "I promise I won't show this to anyone. Well, except for the ones I already sent my father. And Nina and Inej. And you should count that they showed Kaz and Matthias. But after that, I promise no one else will know the best thing about you. You like washing the dishes."

"It's relaxing." He says and Jesper gets closer to see the freckles blending in with his red face.

"Um, it's disgusting."

"You're disgusting."

"Nice come back, love."

Wylan almost breaks a glass and Jesper smirks and stands casually against the counter.

"You're distracting me."

"It's not my fault I was born so handsome, but I promise with time you get used to it."

Wylan smirks at him. "Don't worry about that, it stops being a problem when you walk around with lettuce on your teeth."

"What?" He runs to the bathroom and he sees there is, in fact, lettuce on his teeth, he can hear Wylan laughing in the kitchen. "That's not funny, princeling." He says when he gets back after brushing his teeth again - just to be sure. "You hit where it hurts the most."

"Your fragile ego?"

He touches his heart. "Ouch. Forget what I said about your comebacks, I miss the old Wylan, the innocent Wylan, the fifth-grade level comeback Wylan."

Wylan's smile drops off his face. "I don't miss him."

He sighs and pulls Wylan away from the sink, drying his hands and bringing him to the couch. "Enough of work, let's watch something."

They decide to keep watching Stranger Things, but he can see Wylan's not paying attention to the show. He makes him lie on his lap and he plays with his hair to relax him.

"Come on princeling, what's going on on your handsome head."

"A lot." He says. "Sometimes I forget about it, but then it comes back. It's so hard to accept all this, the things my father did. I- he never cared about us, the country I mean, I always thought that above anything else he always did the best for the people. But that's not true, he only cared about the power."

Jesper sighs. "I could have told you that. Your father has some horrible policies, he never worked for the people."

"I guess I never wanted to see it. I hate the Wylan that was so blind to see it, that took all the- all abuse from his father without questioning it."

He goes to take one curl from Wylan's forehead and the boy closes his eyes when his finger gets close. "I like that Wylan." He says softly. "The Wylan that kept his mom's horse even when he didn't understand what happened to her. And the Wylan that read to his sister the books he memorized from when he was a kid, even when he couldn't read anything. The Wylan that always tried to understand and believe in people."

Wylan opens his eyes again and looks up at him.

"There's a lot of paths you could have taken in your life, and I'm not telling you which one was the right one, if there's even such a thing, but you kept being yourself even when horrible things happened, and that I can always admire. Everything you did was stay true to yourself and try your best, and for that, I love everything you did. You, Wylan Jan Van Eck." He pokes him on the nose.

Wylan stares at him unblinkingly, eyes a little wild, and then he swallows. "You always try to understand me and you have more faith in me than anyone else before. I promise to try to do the same."

"What?" Jesper says, so quietly he's not even sure he says it aloud.

"You always believe in me in a way that makes me believe in myself. I'll try to support you when you can't do it to yourself."

Jesper can't say anything to that. Wylan didn't use the words 'forever' or 'always', but it was still a promise, it feels so fragile if he says anything it might break. Wylan seems to agree with him because he stays in silence too.

"I have a plan for tomorrow." Wylan finally says when the episode of Strangers Things ends and they're getting ready to bed - on Jesper's room again, Wylan still hasn't asked about the other room.

"Tomorrow?" He asks.

"When we go to the Slat tomorrow. I have a plan I want to tell Kaz, on what to do about my father."

"Oh."

"Do you think- what do you think I should do?"

He shrugs. "It looks like you already have a plan."

"But you think I should forgive him."

Jesper laughs. "You could suggest murder and I wouldn't care." He looks at Wylan. "But I don't think that's what you want. I also don't think you want to let him free, but I don't have a preference, it's your father. I'm sure Kaz will agree with me, what you want to do, we will do it." Especially since Kaz has been playing Wylan's game since the beginning. For whatever reason.

"You're right, I don't want to let him free." Wylan nods. "What he did- he deserves punishment. And I don't want to run away anymore, he can't make me run away from my life any longer." He eyes are shining with determination.

"Then let's go fight him princeling. Hopefully, after 8 am." He winks at Wylan, who smiles at him.

He never wants this to end. This game he's playing with Wylan, he never wants to stop playing. And this time, not because of the reward at the end or the satisfaction of winning. No, this time only playing the game is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't agree with everything Jesper says or the way he says some things to Wylan on Wylan's POV, but while I think he has some experience one way or another with people that suffered abuse, he's not a specialist, so a lot of what he says it's just he trying his best with some wishful thinking.  
> Anyway, I made one Harry Potter reference after the other at the end this lol but I'm proud of this chapter, I love writing Wylan and Jesper bantering and scenes where all the crows are present.
> 
> Next: A final confrontation!


	8. Unity Makes Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg only one chapter left! enjjoy!

Wylan wakes up ready for this to be over. The first thing he thinks about when he becomes aware he's awake is his father. Jan Van Eck is awake by now; he's going to read and then have breakfast with his pregnant wife and his daughter, and then he will sit down with his advisers before he starts his commitments. All this without thinking of his son a single time. At least until he receives a message from Kaz reminding him of what's happening.

He wants this to be over today. Usually, his father sets his meetings for the mornings, but Wylan's going to make Kaz tell him it's urgent, he can't wait any longer. He wants his father to pay for his crimes, if not by law, than by taking away from him what he cares about the most: his power and money.

He sighs and turns around on the bed, facing Jesper. He's still sleeping, and as Wylan knows by now, he will be asleep for at least one more hour. He gets his phone and texts Kaz, deciding to tell him his plan ahead, so he can make sure Kaz can set the meeting with his father for today.

After Kaz agrees with him, he sets his phone on the bedside table and gets up carefully, making sure not to wake Jesper up when he slides his legs from under Jesper's. Jesper's terrible at sharing a bed, he hogs all the blankets and keeps moving around, throwing his limbs over Wylan's, but the boy can't even pretend that he minds. He actually enjoys it.

He goes to the living room and sits down on the couch. He wishes he was back at Colm's house, by now Jesper's father would be awake too and they could talk as they waited for Jesper to wake up. He considers waking Jesper up so he can distract him from his thoughts, but he decides against it, there's nothing worse than being woken up early when you could stay sleeping.

So he turns the TV on, but mutes it, and then gets a notebook from his satchel and starts sketching what he sees on the TV.

 

"Morning Wylan." He startles and finds Jesper besides him. "No breakfast today? I mean, I'm not complaining, I just got used to eating your delicious breakfast every morning."

He turns to look at the time on his watch, but he realizes he doesn't have one anymore because he broke it, because it was fake and his father used it to manipulate him. He freezes.

Jesper's hand finds his shoulder immediately. "It's ok. It's 7 am right now."

"Thank you." He says. He puts his notebook on the coffee table and gets up. "I got carried away and forgot about breakfast, what do you want?"

Jesper turns his head to the side. "Come on, princeling." He takes his hand and leads him to the kitchen. "Today you can just watch as I cook. Let's see… I can make an omelet, a fluffy one."

Wylan sits down on a stool. "I love omelets."

Jesper frowns. "Oh, don't say that. You're putting expectations on me, and I can't compete with the chefs that have cooked for you your entire life."

Wylan kicks Jesper's shin. "I don't care about that. Besides, I learned to cook myself, and I ate a lot of burned omelets before I could get it right."

Jesper squints. "How do you burn an omelet?"

"How do you burn soup?"

"How did- my father." Jesper sighs. "He's such a traitor, telling you embarrassing stories about me."

"Don't worry, you don't need to impress me anymore."

Jesper gapes at him. "Right, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm too awesome, it can be intimidating."

He hums. He already feels better.

"So," Jesper says after he puts some bread in the toaster. "What were you drawing so intently you didn't even notice me coming?"

"Um, I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

"Yeah. Like, when I'm anxious I like to draw everything I see, as a calming exercise."

"Oh, so you're anxious."

"Pretty much. I sent Kaz a message telling him about the plan."

He told Jesper the plan yesterday when they were in bed and Jesper didn't seem shocked or horrified with him, so he took it as a good sign. He wonders how much of what Jesper told him about the others past is real. Could any of them be involved in a murder? He hopes not. He had decided not to search their names, he wants them to tell him about their past like Jesper did, if it ever comes to that. He doesn't want to have already searched it.

"And what he said?" Jesper asks him.

"He told us to be there at 10 am the latest so we can prepare before my father gets there."

"So it's going to happen today." Jesper looks back at him, an unreadable look on his face.

"At least the beginning, Kaz wants a day before we can break the news to my father."

"Makes sense." Jesper says quietly.

"Do you- are we going back to your father's house?" He can't help it, he starts gnawing his finger.

"If you want." Jesper shrugs. "But I guess you could go back to your own apartment. Not really much reason to hide after today."

His heart starts beating faster. "But-" What do you _want_ me to do? He can't ask it. "My things are at your father's house."

"That's right." Jesper brings the omelet to him, it looks and smells amazing. "So you'll have to stay there another day."

He doesn't know if that's what Jesper wants or not. "I guess I'll have to, then." He doesn't have to, though, he could just get his things. Jesper doesn't point that out, so he starts eating. "This is delicious. Thank you."

"You're welcome, princeling."

He's going to miss hearing Jesper call him that. He shakes his head. They're not there yet.

After a while of they just eating, Jesper says. "I should take a drawing class, see if I can use that for when I'm anxious too."

"Oh, it's good. Centers my mind. Solving a math problem also works." He feels himself flush, but Jesper doesn't tease him, he only nods.

"Much better than what I normally use. I mean, right now it's work or sex, but before it was gambling, and then after I lost all my money, alcohol. I can always appreciate healthier ways to deal with problems."

He bites his lip. "It's been a year since you've gambled right?"

"Yeah. I want to say I don't know exactly when it was, but I can tell you how many months and days it's been. I won't because that's just embarrassing."

"It's not embarrassing. You should be proud of it."

Jesper touches Wylan's hand with his knuckles. "I am. I have the coins and all that. After letting my father homeless, I'm past the point of being embarrassed by my recovery." He grimaces and then shakes his head. "That doesn't mean I want to talk like my therapist. So, can I see your drawings?"

"Um." Wylan feels his face get really hot and Jesper laughs.

"What did you draw? Porn?"

"You." Wylan says to take the smile off Jesper's face.

He can see Jesper's Adam's apple bob. "I am a very good study." He pauses and then smirks. "I used to pose naked." Wylan splutters, he hates that Jesper is always winning, making him more embarrassed than he can ever make him. "When I needed money, you know, to gamble. It didn't last long because they found out I was underage, but I still got the postures I'm sure, any day you want me to pose for you, you can call me." He winks at him.

"I'll be sure to remember that." He tries to sound serious, but his face is so red, Jesper only laughs.

 

For the first time in his life, Jan Van Eck is late. Wylan doesn't remember seeing him late before, but he thinks this is a testament of how done he is with this situation, things didn't end up like planned, and now he's not interested in playing the concerned father anymore. Not that he was ever good at playing that role.

When the doors of the elevator finally open, Wylan is hiding in the reunion room like the last time his father was here, but this time he has another company, Jesper is outside, but Matthias is with him, looking at a computer screen, his hands flying on the keyboard every once in a while.

"Gentlemen." His father says. "I'm afraid this is our last meeting, I don't have time for this anymore. You didn't do the job I asked for, I won't pay you anymore." Wylan sighs, he wonders how much he owes Kaz now, he has no idea what was the prince he worked with his father, but that doesn't matter, he will pay him whatever he wants.

"Why don't you take a sit, Your Highness." Kaz's voice.

"I already told you I don't have time for those silly games anymore. Or has _he_ finally found out who sent the pictures?" He imagines his father is pointing at Jesper.

"No offense King." Jesper's voice is hard. "But we have a bigger problem in mind. Your son? You know him, Wylan? He was kidnapped. That's what we've been working on."

His father huffs. "I already told you not to bother with that."

"You don't care about your son's kidnapping?" Kaz asks.

"Don't be insolent, I have more competent people looking into it."

"The police?" Inej's voice. "Because our contact at the police didn't hear anything about it."

There's a silence, he imagines what face his father is doing, the one before he starts screaming or the one before he starts talking quieter?

"How I decide to take care of my son's case is none of your business." He says, quieter. Wylan was always more scared of this voice, the times his father ever touched him (pushing him away or pulling him to his room to lock him up) were when he used this voice. Now he stays firm in his place, listening.

"It is our business when the kidnapper is getting in touch with us." Kaz says in his usual tone of voice, not sounding bothered by his father's change of tone.

"You need to work with us." Nina's voice now. "We're the only ones with contact with the kidnapper."

"I said-" His father tries.

"If they threaten to send you another finger of your son like they did before we need to be able to know what to do." Inej says.

"You can-"

"If he wants more money or anything for your son and the pictures, we need to be able to tell you." Kaz adds.

"Then-"

"And if you finally decide to stop playing around with your son's kidnapping and decide to do something about it, we need to be able to communicate with him that you're willing to pay." Jesper says.

Wylan looks at Matthias, they're so close now. His father stays silent.

"Aren't you willing to rescue your son? Do you prefer to risk his life than lose money?"

"Yes, yes, yes." His father finally says, voice much louder. "You know what, this person is doing me a favor, if I knew who he was I would give them money so I could never see the face of that useless boy again. Always leeching off me, never able to anything for himself. Incompetent, he's not even able to read." His father laughs. "My four years old daughter can read and that mule can't. So yes, my money is much better spent buying a new horse." There's silence, Wylan is shaking. "I don't want to hear about any of this anymore, if it's true, which I'm still not sure it is, that boy might just be lost somewhere, - happens a lot when you can't read, can't take a step without asking for help - or running away - which would be the first useful thing he ever did, the first time he ever listened to me - I want whoever kidnapped him to do whatever they want with him."

He pauses and Wylan can hear a sound. "Here. I'm gonna give you half the payment we agreed on so you can finish dealing with this problem. If you had been more competent, than I would've hired you to help me deal with the questions that are going to be asked about my son, not that are going to be many, that boy is forgettable."

"That's very generous of you, thank you, sir." Kaz's voice.

Then he hears the elevator door opening again.

"Wylan?" Matthias' voice.

He turns to Matthias smiling. The smile feels like it's stuck on his face. "It's done. We got him."  
  


* * *

Wylan is acting weird. They left the Slat yesterday after Kaz told them he needed some hours to finish the preparations and they went back to Colm's house. Jesper noticed how Wylan was weird then, but he figured he needed some time to process everything and he let him alone.

Did it hurt when he was acting normal around Jesper's father, but weird again around him? Maybe, but he gave him time, figuring the next day he would be better.

But it's already the next day and Wylan is still weird. It's like he shut off part of his brain and is only acting on autopilot, his emotions turned off. And he has this weird gleam in his eyes, like he's happy, except it looks creepy instead of genuine.

That upsets Jesper more than anything because the first thing he noted about Wylan was how he could always read him because he kept his emotions on his face. It made him look innocent, - which Jesper found out to his delight he's not - but also earnest. He doesn't want Wylan to ever stop being like that.

He almost feels desperate about it, he needs Wylan to not change. Jesper was always a little cynic, but the princeling makes him more honest with his true feelings. He doesn't know how could Wylan go through so much and still keep being like that for so long, but he will do anything he can so he stays this way.

He only hopes it's not too late now. Finding out your father killed someone will make you stop believing in people. Finding out he killed your grandfather will do that even faster.

He watches as Wylan talks with Colm, and then Jesper looks at the time and says aloud.

"Time to go." Kaz told them both to be there early.

Wylan looks at him and nods. "Thank you for having me here, Mr. Fahey." He says to Jesper's father. "I really appreciate your kindness during this time."

Colm looks at Jesper and then at Wylan. "It was no trouble. I hope you find the peace you need, son."

Jesper looks at his father, he wonders if Wylan told him anything more specific about why he had to hide in his house or if he's just guessing.

"I will now." Wylan hugs him and Jesper thinks he hears his father say something about being welcome anytime, but he turns around, he doesn't want to intrude on their goodbye.

Wylan gets his suitcase and they walk in the direction of the car they called to take them to the Slat, leaving the bikes behind. After today, Wylan will go back to his own apartment and then Jesper doesn't know what will happen. He doesn't know if he will ever know.

"And you don't disappear too, Jes." His father calls to him as he gets in the car.

"Don't worry da, I will come by more." He makes a promise to himself to follow that. His father deserves it, after everything he did for him.

"Are you ready?" He asks Wylan when they get to the Slat. They can see the King's car parked outside.

Wylan sighs. "Doesn't matter. Gotta do it now."

He thinks it always matters and they could do it another day if he wanted to, but he doesn't say it. Wylan can make his own choices.

They take the elevator and it feels like the longest it ever took to get to the top floor. When the elevator's door open, Jesper almost jumps, he never noticed how loud the sound was. There isn't anyone waiting for them, but they can hear loud voices from the reunion room. The main one.

Jesper swallows.

"Kind of a deja vu." He says.

Wylan's hand find his and he turns to Jesper. "This time I'm walking in that room with a much better company."

"I guess some things do change. I'm not late this time." He breaths and turns. "Wy-"

The door of the main room opens. "I thought I heard someone coming in." Is Nina. She arches her eyebrows. "Come in."

Wylan lets go of his hand and walks ahead of him.

"What is going on?" Jesper hears Van Eck's voice inside the room. "Who is here?"

Everyone is positioned like last time, except this time Van Eck is also standing, instead of sitting down and the bodyguard is not present. His eyes widen when they get in, and then he turns to Kaz.

"So you found him. Is this why you called me here?." He takes a step towards Wylan and Jesper has to fight his urge to stand in front of the boy. Wylan's got this. "Where were you boy, you know the trouble you got me? Were you on a vacation? Or was this another call for help?" He says this in a mocking voice like the one Jesper uses with his therapist sometimes. "It does not matter. Let's get home and we will resolve this there." He takes a step towards the door, but this time Wylan steps in front of him, blocking his way.

"We're going to talk here." Wylan says, and Jesper feels proud of how strong his voice sounds. "And after this, we will never live under the same ceiling again."

"What are you talking about, boy?"

Wylan gives him a smile, the fake one he's been giving for the last 24 hours.

"I'm talking about how you said you didn't want to pay the ransom of my kidnapping, people would be quite shocked to find that out. My loving father, our King, not caring about my safety."

"You-" Van Eck turns around to Kaz. "You told him? What is going on here?"

"They did more than tell me." Wylan gets the laptop on the table and Jesper sees that it's already open on the video. "They showed me." He says and turns the computer to Van Eck.

Jesper watches as the King's face hardens. "You taped me?" He says to Kaz, his face getting red. "I thought we agreed to secrecy, I am going to ruin your reputation, no one else will ever hire you."

"We never had an agreement." Kaz says. "We don't work for you."

"And you will find you won't have much of a reputation to be able to ruin anyone else's after this." Jesper can't help but add.

"What are you talking about, I am the King. This video is nothing."

"We thought so, too." Nina nods. "That's why this is only one part of it, the more concrete one, that paired with everything else will make it more believable."

Van Eck laughs. "What else you children think you can have on me?"

"Blackmail." Inej says. "I wonder what people would think after they found out you blackmailed your own son."

Van Eck looks at Inej and then back at Wylan. "I don't know what you have been telling them, but this want for attention is going too far." He takes another step towards Wylan and holds his arm. "Let us go home at once.

Wylan twists free from him and takes a step closer to Jesper. "We're not done, yet, father." He says. "We know everything now, that you hired Raphael to take pictures of us together so you could convince me to disappear and make me give up my right to the throne. He told me everything."

Van Eck looks at the ceiling. "Is this being taped? Is this why you are saying this absurd, trying to get me to _confess_ something?"

"Don't worry Your Highness." Kaz says. "We don't keep cameras here, our clients like their privacy. It's only in the living room we keep them, for safety. You should have asked us that before you started blabbering about how much you hate your son."

Van Eck exhales impatiently. "Wylan, do not be ridiculous. Whatever you think you can get from this, it is not going to happen. You better stop with this nonsense before I lose my patience." His face suddenly changes and he tries to touch Wylan again, who deflects. "Let's go home and we will talk there." He says, softly.

Wylan's face hardens, the smile that he was wearing all this time leaving his face. "We still have one more thing to talk about. You know what I always thought it was funny, how you cremated grandfather, even though we have a huge family mausoleum. Were you trying to be sure no one would ever find the evidence of his murder?"

Van Eck flinches.

"Yes. I'm sure you will be happy to know me and mom have finally talked after ten years. She had a lot to tell me." He doesn't smile at Van Eck like Jesper thought he would, he looks at him hard.

Van Eck's face gets red again. "How did you find her?"

"It wasn't that hard, Sir, you're not as smart as you think you are." Kaz says.

And then Van Eck does something no one was expecting, he advances towards Wylan, his hands flying to his neck, choking him. "I'm. Going. To. Kill. You. You little useless-" He says through gritted teeth.

Matthias steps up before Jesper can do anything and shoves Van Eck away, Jesper catches Wylan as he gasps, his hands touching his neck. He hears as Matthias presses Van Eck against a wall, but he doesn't take his eyes from Wylan.

"Princeling, are you alright?" He pulls Wylan's hand away from his neck and he can see it's already red, he feels his heart beats faster in anger.

"I'm alright." Wylan gasps. "Really, Jesper, I'm fine." He says a little desperate and Jesper looks down to see that he is holding Wylan's wrist tightly.

"Fuck, sorry." He lets him go and takes a step back, but Wylan holds his hand, his eyes are a little wet from the pain, but they look clearer than in the past day.

"Stay close." Wylan tells him and then he turns back to his father.

Jesper finally looks at the room and he sees that Nina isn't in sight and Matthias is still holding Van Eck, talking to him in a voice Jesper never heard before.

"You're the scum of the earth, you touch your son again and I will drop you from this building and say it was an accident." He carries the King closer to window and Kaz lets him, he looks bored, but Jesper can see the fire in his eyes. "Do you like the view from here? It would look even better with you splattered on the floor."

"Let. Me. Go." Is all the King says, but Jesper smirks at the shakiness of his voice.

Matthias shoves him away like he can't be in so much proximity to him any longer and Van Eck falls to the floor. Nina comes back in and hands Wylan a stack of ice.

Kaz steps towards Van Eck. "In the end, you can consider this as a small change of plans. Someone is still going to be giving up their right to the throne, but now it's going to be you."

Van Eck laughs, but it doesn't sound light, like before. "You think I will do that? You have no proof against me."

"We have the testimony of three people against you, and this time you won't be able to buy the justice because we're going to be watching you. We're not concerned about losing, in fact, we already have a clue about who you paid to lie about your father's death. The only reason why we're not going to send you to jail is that Wylan doesn't want to."

At that Van Eck crawls in Wylan's direction. "Son, are you going to let this happen to me? After everything we went through? I'm your father!"

"I'm not doing this because I love you. I'm doing this for Lynn. I don't want the fact that you're a murderer to affect her."

Van Eck nods. "Lynn, yes. She needs me, you can't do this to me. What about our family?"

"You killed our family." Wylan says. "Lynn will be much better without you. And so will my brother."

Van Eck's face closes off again. "I won't let you get the throne, you leach! The throne belongs to Jan, he's the one that will reign."

"I'm not doing this for power. If my brother wants the throne he can have it, but he won't have you poisoning him."

"Time to accept you lost." Kaz says.

"No!" Van Eck spits at Kaz. "I won't allow this. This useless vermin won't have my throne, he can't read or write, how will he do it? This useless, soft, stupid boy-"

Jesper takes a sock and shoves it in his mouth. "God, he doesn't shut up ever." Wylan seems to feel better now that his father can't speak and Jesper pulls him out of the room. "Let's leave him to Kaz, he will finish convincing him to sign the necessary papers, after all, he does it or he goes to jail."

Wylan frowns. "I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, he committed murder, he should go to jail, right?"

Jesper shrugs. "Being stripped of his powers will be punishment for him. But you can change your mind whenever you want, that's the beauty of this plan, your father has no leverage."

"But will he lose his power? He has so much money on secret accounts, and money _is_ power."

"You don't need to worry about that." They turn to see Kaz following them. "Your father will find out that his accounts have been almost emptied. He will have enough to survive for six months. The place he's going, he can even use it for a year."

Kaz didn't want to tell them where he was sending the king to disappear, but he said that if Wylan really wanted to know he would tell him.

Wylan laughs. "When did you do this?"

"I said I needed some hours to prepare." He smirks. "We agreed to some money and your father didn't want to pay us, I was taking our money back. And then some for all the trouble we went through. And of course part of the money goes to the guards that are going to watch him and if your mom would like, some indenization for all the years he locked her."

"You didn't need to do this, I was going to pay you." Wylan says. "Really, I can't thank you enough for everything you did, I don't even know why you did it."

Kaz gets serious. "We see a lot of horrible things in our line of work. When I decided to… leave my old line of work, I promised to not corroborate to any kind of abuse."

Jesper never new Kaz thought like that, but now that he thinks about it, he can remember cases of trafficking that they worked in, where later the police found out about it or one of domestic abuse where the guy was later found dead. He wonders if that had anything to do with Kaz.

"Thank you." Wylan says to him and Kaz nods.

"You can leave. When he signs the papers giving up his place as the King, we will inform you." Kaz leaves them without waiting for an answer.

Wylan turns to him, but Jesper talks before he can say anything. "Let me walk you to your apartment."

Wylan searches his face for something and then nods. "Okay."

Jesper can't think about letting Wylan go now. He doesn't know how he will be able to do it when the time comes.  
  


* * *

They walk in silence all the way to Wylan's apartment. Wylan's head is again overflowing with thoughts. Did he do the right thing? What is he supposed to do now? Has his father signed the papers yet? And the most present thought: _Jesper, Jesper, Jesper_.

Will Jesper only walk him to his door and then go back to the Slat? Will they see each other again? Should he stop Jesper from leaving? What does he want? What should he do?

He doesn't know.

He feels like calling Kuwei. Maybe he went through a similar situation at some point, being the prince of China. He takes his phone from his pocket and types a message away from Jesper's sight.

 

**are you there?**

**here**

**I need to ask something**

**did you ever date someone who wasn't royalty?**

**ha**

**no**

**not even in secret??**

**well**

**maybe**

**why?**

**I might be in a situation where it could happen**

**and I don't know know what to do**

**would it be advisable to do it?**

**boy?**

**yes of course**

**you know I'm gay**

**you think people would be ok with it?**

**no**

 

Wylan sighs and puts his phone back in his pocket. Kuwei is as useless as he remembers in giving advice. Things are so complicated, he has an idea of what he wants to do about the throne, but that doesn't change the fact that people will always pay attention to his life. He doesn't even know if Jesper would want to have his life scrutinized like that if it ever even became possible for Wylan to come out.

But maybe he's thinking too ahead of time. He's not stupid, he knows Jesper likes him and he knows Jesper _likes_ him, but maybe he just wants to make out with him. They haven't even kissed, it's possible they're going to be totally incompatible and if he repeats it enough times he might actually believe it's a possibility.

He opens the door to his apartment and he's surprised to find it exactly as he left it. There's still a bowl on the kitchen counter where they ate popcorn when they were last here.

"Come in." He says to Jesper, not even giving him the possibility of leaving.

"Did you also kind of expect things to be different?" Jesper says as he walks around the room.

He laughs. "Yeah. Even the bowl is still there."

Jesper hums. "And look at the bed. Still unmade."

Right. The bed they slept on, the first time they shared a bed. Now it almost feels normal.

"How long do you think is going to take Kaz to send news?"

"A couple of hours. Don't worry about it, he's going to make your father crack."

"And then what?" He asks.

Jesper walks towards him, a smile on his face. "You're terrible at not worrying."

"Then we match." He says before he can stop himself.

Jesper laughs. "It would be nice, wouldn't it. Have some sort of balance." He drops on the couch and pats the seat next to him. "Kaz will make Van Eck regret the day he was born, he's going to make him wish he was never the king."

Now it's Wylan's turn to laugh. "I can't see that happening. My father not wanting to be king?" He shakes his head.

"Not having your freedom will make you want to give up on a lot of things." Jesper tells him.

He hums. He tries to think of something to say about it, but a completely different thing comes out of his mouth. "I want you to meet my sister."

Jesper looks at him, his eyebrows arched. "Your sister?"

"Yes. My baby sister. I think you would like to meet her." He feels his cheeks heat.

Jesper eyes soften and he touches his cheek. "I would love to meet her. Kids love me, I'm extremely charming."

He laughs. "They probably think you're one of them."

"Are you saying I'm childish, princeling?"

"You named it." He smiles and his hands catch Jesper spare hand, the one on his face now moved to his hair.

"I'm proud to say I have the energy of a kid. Ten kids, even."

Wylan whistles. "That's something. I can barely handle one kid. I'm always tricking Lynn into playing with dolls because we can do that sitting down. Or reading to her, hopefully until she falls asleep."

Jesper laughs. "You're such an old man, can't handle a four years old kid?"

Wylan pouts. "You're all talk. I bet you can't handle an overexcited child. What's your experience? Your credentials?"

"Um, I played with the kids from my neighborhood?"

"Back in your old house?" Wylan shakes his head. "You're so not prepared for this."

"I guess we will have to see." Jesper tells him.

"Should we watch Stranger Things?" He says after a second. That's another thing he can use to see Jesper again, they started watching it together, they need to finish it together.

"Wouldn't want to watch with anyone else." Jesper says like he knows what he's thinking and Wylan beams at him.

 

They're on their third episode when Wylan's phone finally buzzes. His hands shake as he gets it from his pocket. He can't look while Jesper is starring at him, so he gets up and looks at the screen away from him. It's a message from Kaz.

 

**Everything is done.**

**Your father is on his way to the location we prepared with Matthias and Inej.**

**It was good working with you.**

**If you ever want to know where he is, you have my number.**

 

His heart feels like it's beating on his throat. _Everything is done_. It's finally done. He's free from his father, he can bring his mother back and have a relationship with her. He can do what he thinks it's best for the country and he can do what he thinks it's best for him. Without any of his father's influence.

"Wylan? What is it?"

Jesper. _It was good working with you_. He doesn't want everything to be done. What he wants is for things to be different.

He wants to keep knowing Jesper and his father, he wants to keep watching Stranger Things with him and then every other TV show they can find. He wants to have a relationship with Jesper's father, and he wants him to have one with his mother and sister.

He wants so much and that's why when Jesper's hand touches his shoulder he turns and hugs him. Close. He doesn't want to let go in case everything escapes him.

"My father is gone. It's over." He says, breathlessly.

Jesper holds him tighter. "That's so great princeling, you're finally free."

He swallows and nods, embarrassingly he feels tears coming to his eyes.

"Jesper-" He starts.

Jesper moves away from him to look at his face. "What?"

He kisses him. Jesper immediately kisses him back like he was waiting for it all along; like he knew it was going to happen.

Wylan's mind empties, all his worries disappear, he's with Jesper and his father is gone and they're going to make this work.

He's happy, he's the happiest he's ever been, he feels like laughing. And he does it a little, laughs and kisses Jesper harder, biting his lip. Jesper lets him and kisses him in a way he's never been kissed before. Or maybe he was the one that never felt like this before, like kissing someone could be about what you want and not a hundred thoughts of people finding out and how wrong it is or how much trouble he could get in.

He's also scared, but he feels brave in a way he never felt before, he can do whatever he needs to, he has to. For his family and his country. But also for himself. He thinks he can make it work, he can make this job be more than a duty, something he was born in, and into something he can use to make some real change. He has this power now.

But mostly, he just thinks of Jesper. The smell of his cologne, and the taste of popcorn in his lips, the hold he has on Wylan and the little noise he makes when Wylan scrapes his nails on his scalp. He feels hungry like maybe he and Jesper are half of the same part and if they keep kissing they will go back into being whole.

Eventually, Jesper separates from him to breathe. "Do you- what do you want?" He says and Wylan wants to swallow his breathlessness, wants to eat every sound he makes.

He pulls Jesper over to the couch and they fall in and go back to kissing.

What does he want? He wants to see his baby sister, he wants to live with his mom again and he wants to never have to think of his father. But right now, he wants to never stop kissing Jesper. And then he wants more, he wants everything.

He pulls away and takes Jesper's shirt off. Sometimes, you can live with someone your whole life without ever really knowing them. Other times, you only need a week to know someone.

He _sees_ Jesper and he thinks for the first time someone sees him back. That doesn't happen every day. He knows that, so he takes off his own shirt and he doesn't think of anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaz has a secret vigilante life.. and now i want a superhero au  
> so, i'm not planning on writing a sex scene but if people want one i might do it, this is a democracy after all. maybe? probably not actually.  
> did you guys like this chapter, i think i liked it. let me know what you thought and see you somewhere between 7 and 15 days.
> 
> Next: Decisions are made and life goes on.


	9. I Will Uphold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made and life goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 kudos, I would like to thank my mother for reading 'os bigodes do palhaço' for me every day until I got tired, my sister for reading the first 3 harry potter books to me when I was still learning how to read, and my father for always being supportive of whatever I wanted to do with my life, I bet you didn't think I would still be writing fanfic.  
> Thank you for everyone that commented or left kudos, you guys are the best. Enjoy!

Jesper wakes up the next day in bed with Wylan and immediately he remembers what happened the day before. Yesterday was fantastic. They spent the whole afternoon and night kissing. He didn't think he could kiss someone this much and have it be enough; and ok, there were some handjobs at some point, but mostly they kissed, kissed until their lips were red and swollen, kissed until they were breathless. And there was nothing he would've rather be doing at that moment than being so close to Wylan Van Eck he could feel his breath on Jesper's face.

He wants this to be the new normal. Wants to wake up in the mornings next to the princeling, eat together, talk, and go to sleep at night with him. He closes his eyes and for the first time in his life, appreciates the silence and quiet.

He's almost falling asleep again when he feels Wylan starting to stir. A smile breaks into his face as he feels the boy pull closer to him, burying his nose on Jesper's neck, the hand that's on Jesper's waist, holding tight to the shirt he's wearing - one of Wylan's.

"-Orning." Wylan mumbles.

"Morning, princeling." Jesper answers, his voice cracking from disuse. "Sleep well?"

He feels Wylan's face heat up as he burrows closer to him, almost ending up on top of him on the bed. "Yeah. It was- yeah."

Jesper laughs. "Me too." He answers honestly. He turns on his side and Wylan opens one eye to look at him. Jesper circles his arm around him and pulls him closer, pecking him on the mouth. "Now that's a proper good morning."

Wylan scrunches his nose. "You have morning breath."

"So do you. It's perfect." He goes to kiss him again, but Wylan pulls away. "What?" He frowns. Is his morning breath that bad?

Wylan's hand comes up and he gnaws on his finger. "We need to talk." He says with his finger still in his mouth.

"Wow." Jesper sits up, feeling like he'd just made the ice bucket challenge. "That was quick."

"What?" Wylan asks, pulling his hand away from his mouth.

"The talk. You didn't even wait until after breakfast. Fuck." He adds. He had thought yesterday that they could make it work. Wylan seemed interested in doing it, but he was just vulnerable after everything that went down with his father. Now that he can think, he for sure realized that this thing between then will never work.

Wylan sits down too. "No it's not- it's not _that_ talk." He says.

Jesper hums. He can't make himself say anything else, he feels more vulnerable than when he went to ask Kaz for help after he lost his father's money. Wylan knows how he feels about him - and he's not stupid, he knows the boy feels the same way about Jesper - but he's still the Prince, the future King even, things couldn't be more complicated. The only way Jesper wouldn't give their relationship a try would be if Wylan didn't want to. He doesn't think there's anything he can say right now to make things better or worse. It's the Prince's choice.

Wylan is back gnawing at his finger and Jesper feels the need to hold his hand to stop him, instead, he takes his phone from the bedside table and looks at the time. It's only 6 am.

Wylan heaves a breath and starts. "Yesterday- yesterday was fun." Jesper's stomach clenches at that. He feels like swearing again. "But I need to talk to you about it." Wylan stops like he's waiting for Jesper to say something, but Jesper's throat feels closed up, so the boy continues. "I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry, I should have told you before we did anything." Jesper feels himself nod. "I'm not saying it's forever, but at least for now-"

Jesper gets up and he realizes they're at Wylan's apartment. He looks around for his clothes while Wylan keeps talking, barely paying attention to what he's saying. He needs to leave. Now.

"Why- why are you getting dressed?" The desperation in Wylan's voice makes him stop and look at the boy. "I don't think- no, I'm sure it's not gonna be forever. Can't- can't you wait for a little while?"

Jesper swallows. "No, I can't." Wylan looks heartbroken at this and Jesper now wants to swear at him, what right does he have to make Jesper feel bad? He's the one who doesn't want to do this. Jesper can't sit around, waiting for him forever. Imagine seeing Wylan's future dates on TV? He would rather eat dirt.

"Are you leaving?" Wylan asks, voice small.

"There's no point in staling anymore." He tries to sound calm, but his voice shakes anyway.

Wylan's face contorts with a lot of emotions before settling on anger. "Fuck you, Jesper. I thought you wanted more than to just have sex."

That stops Jesper from where he's reaching from his phone. "What?" He asks, dumbstruck.

Wylan doesn't seem to hear him. "I thought after our talks you understood me, but I was wrong. I needed some time to digest everything and after the sex tape I have been a little paranoid, but fuck you, I'm not going to beg for your attention." Wylan throws Jesper's coat at him. "You can say goodbye to your father for me, I don't think we're going to see each other again."

"The sex tape?" Jesper whispers, and then he starts laughing. Wylan's face freezes at this and then he seems to get even angrier which only makes Jesper laughs harder.

"What the fuck?" The Prince says as Jesper bends over, trying to gather his breath. "What are you doing?"

He tries to stop laughing long enough to speak, but the only thing he manages to say is. "The sex tape."

"How is that funny you fuckwit." Wylan looks so cute indignant that Jesper can't stop himself from holding one of his hands and bringing it close to his chest. Wylan pulls his hand away and turns to leave, Jesper is opening his mouth to calls his name when he turns back with a glass of water from the bedside table and promptly throws it at Jesper's face.

Jesper's laugh immediately dies down. "Fuck, that's cold." He whines, but Wylan only crosses his arms at him.

"You were going into shock."

"I was not going into shock!"

"You started laughing like a maniac."

"I was not- ok, I was, but only because it was funny."

"I didn't see anything amusing in our conversation."

"That's okay, I can explain to you." He tries to take a step closer to Wylan, but the boy extends a hand in front of him, stopping Jesper.

"Jesper, what are you doing?" He sounds tired, and that finishes sobering Jesper up, the rest of the smile leaving his face.

"I want to date you. Like, actually going on dates with you. We can go to restaurants, or watch a game, or go to the park, or stay right here and netflix 'nd chill." He stops himself from wiggling his eyebrows because he meant it in the most innocent sense. "When you said you couldn't do it I kind of started freaking out and stopped hearing you, I thought you wanted this to be over, us." Wylan's frown dims and he opens his mouth, but Jesper stops him. "I know we haven't really started anything, but I want to, I really, really, want to. And I think you do too, scratch that, I know you do. You understand me like no one else and I like to think I'm good to you in return." He stops himself, he wasn't planning on saying any of this and he can feel his face warm a little.

"I didn't want to stop this." Wylan confirms before Jesper can continue talking. "I just want us to go slow." He makes a face at this. "That means no sex, to be clear. Yesterday we got kind of overexcited, but I'm not ready for that again, not yet. After- after the sex tape I'm feeling a little paranoid. I think-" He breaths out and closes his eyes briefly. "I know you wouldn't do that, but I need some time before my body can understand it too."

Jesper frowns a little. "Yesterday… I didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to, did I?"

"God, no." Wylan seems surprised at this and he takes a step closer to him. "I needed that, I- I loved everything we did. I even thought I had stopped freaking out, but before when you tried to kiss me again I just felt so uncomfortable…"

"Sorry." Jesper says quickly.

"No problem." Wylan holds Jesper's hand and brings it closer to his own chest, a playful smile on his face, before he gets serious again. "I don't know how long this is going to take. Maybe tomorrow I'm going to be okay, maybe today I'll want to suck you off." He arches one eyebrow and Jesper resists the urge to bite his own lip. "I just know we will need to talk about it for a while before we can…" He waves his hand around and then blushes, making Jesper chuckle.

"Can I kiss you now?" He asks. He's not sure where they're standing on kisses.

Instead of answering Wylan kisses him and it's as amazing as he remembers from yesterday. He gets lost in it for a while and he doesn't even notice he closed his eyes before Wylan is pulling back and he has to open then again.

"Alright, so…" Wylan stops, looking nervous.

"So?" Jesper says lazily, pulling Wylan closer to him and loving the way their bodies fit together.

Wylan bites his lip. "We should go to the Slack today, make sure everything is resolved."

Jesper groans and rests his face against Wylan's shoulder. He has a feeling this wasn't what the princeling wanted to say, but for him, they can take all the time in the world. For once, he's not in a hurry.

 

It takes them longer to get to the Slat then usual with all their breaks to make out. Jesper doesn't feel even a little bit guilty. As soon as they're inside the elevator his lips find Wylan's again and he presses the boy against the wall and kisses him deeply. They don't even notice the door opening until someone clears their throat behind them.

Jesper breaks free and steps in front of Wylan, sparring him from the embarrassment of having to face Nina's smug face immediately. He doesn't even have to look at Wylan to feel him blushing.

"So," Nina smiles at him, her teeth showing. "That's new."

Jesper clears his own throat and steps out of the elevator with as much dignity as he can muster, - which is a lot, this is not his first walk of shame - holding Wylan's hand so the boy stays behind him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know there's a camera in the elevator, right? Should we start preparing our next damage control?"

Jesper feels Wylan tense behind him and curses Nina in his mind. "There will be no need for that since I'm not an asshole." He says a little harder than he intended and Nina arches her eyebrows, but she seems to understand this a touchy subject.

"I imagine you're here to talk to Kaz?" Jesper nods. "I'm gonna get him and I could swing by Matthias office on the way if you want." She suggests.

He doesn't need her to give him a pointed look for him to understand that she's suggesting asking Matthias to delete the images. "That would be great." He could, of course, do it himself, this is what's he's good at, but he didn't come here to work today.

Nina looks like she wants to do something else but then she shakes her head and leaves.

Wylan sighs audibly and knocks his head against Jesper back. "I'm okay." He says, voice muffled.

Jesper turns around and hugs Wylan close, the excitement of being able to do this still present and making a tiny smile appear on his face even though right now he feels guilty. He resists the urge to kiss him, merely because they know this is the only place inside the Slat that has cameras.

Wylan looks up at him and says, as if he's been reading Jesper's mind. "I wish we could kiss." He pouts and now Jesper can't contain his beam.

"Is it ridiculous if I want to bring you to my office right now?"

Wylan bites his lip. "There's no camera there?" Jesper shakes his head, his heart pounding for some reason. Wylan is opening his mouth when someone comes in the room.

"Interrupting something, boys?" Kaz asks. He sounds bored but Jesper can see his eyes are sharp, watching where Jesper and Wylan are still touching.

Jesper takes a step back and Wylan speaks. "You're not."

"How can I help you, then."

"I wanna know if I can count on your assistance for damage control after the news of my d- of Jan appears on the news."

"Of course." Says Kaz. "We're here until the job is done."

"Then we should sign another contract, this time between me and you. And I want to pay you for everything."

Kaz shrugs. "Seems sensible."

Wylan sighs a little in relief and Jesper resists the urge to laugh. There was never a risk of Kaz saying no, he's totally involved in this by now, he too would only leave if Wylan asked him to.

"Another thing," Wylan stops and swallow. "What's going to happen to Raphael?"

Jesper resists the urge to scowl. Somehow it makes him angry hearing Wylan call the asshole by his name, he doesn't deserve this privilege.

Kaz looks at Jesper, looking amused like he can hear his thoughts, which Jesper isn't sure isn't true. "There's not much we can do since we're burying the whole tape thing."

Wylan looks grim at this and Jesper scowls. "We can sure do something." He says angrily.

Kaz rolls his eyes. "I didn't say we were doing nothing, only that we can't throw him in jail. But don't worry." He says to Wylan. "He won't be saying anything." He said with a gleam in his eyes that invites no questions.

After that Kaz and Wylan went to make a new contract and Jesper stays behind, even though Wylan offered him to come too. He looks around the room and he feels a sadness he can't place, this has been as much as his home for the past few years as his or his father's houses. He walks to the place where Matthias banged the Tutor's head in when they first brought him in and he touches it gingerly.

"Feeling nostalgic already?" Inej says behind him.

He frowns. "I don't know why I'm feeling like this."

Inej laughs. "You are always slow when the subject is emotions. Yours or others."

"What does this mean?" He asks honestly.

"Your heart is not in this place anymore." She says simply.

"What?"

Inej sighs. "Look at how many times you came to work in these past weeks."

"Yeah, but that was because…" He feels like blushing. "You know."

"I know." Inej says. "That doesn't change the fact that this place doesn't mean the same to you anymore. Maybe it's time for you to actually stop and consider what you want to do for the rest of your life."

"Why can't I want to do this for the rest of my life?"

"Do you?" Inej arches one eyebrow.

He sighs and throws himself on the couch. "I don't know." He pauses and tries to think of an answer to the question. "It doesn't seem healthy to leave my work just because…" He stops again, not knowing how to end the phrase.

"Because you're in love?" Inej smirks and now he does blush. "And you're right. I'm not telling you to put your life on hold for Wylan. But I think you're in a better place than when you met Kaz, both mentally and financially, you could take a break to think what you want to do. Or else you might keep going for habit. You can always come back, the Slat isn't going anywhere."

Jesper hums. "Kaz would kill me before hiring me again."

Inej smiles. "He would miss you, but he would understand. You could always work here like his brother."

That sounded nice, Jesper can't see himself letting this go completely, but he agrees with Inej that his heart isn't in it anymore. This work was a big part of his recovery, and now that he feels better than ever he sees how much he was leaning on it. He can even acknowledge that he thought about taking a vacation before, but even that he couldn't allow himself for fear of a relapse. He hopes that Inej is right and Kaz can forgive him.

He turns to Inej and sees that she's watching him. "I'm gonna miss this." He says, his body seems to have already made the choice for him.

Inej gives him a sad smile, like she knew this is what he was going to choose, but she hoped she was wrong. She walks towards him and he gets up and hugs her.

"Be happy, Jes."

He closes his eyes and he believes he can do it. For so long he wasn't even able to admit he wasn't happy, now that he did it he thinks he can finally find real happiness. He hugs Inej tighter.  
  


* * *

Wylan wakes up one month later with the soft morning light on his face. He turns on his stomach and buries his face on the pillows, trying to get a couple more minutes of sleep, but right at that moment his phone starts beeping and he knows he needs to get up. Today is an important day and he can't be late.

He gets his phone and the only message in it is from Kaz this morning, telling him that he's on his way. This is it, he thinks, today is the day. After today, things won't ever be the same and he will have more responsibilities than ever. He feels his stomach churn and for a second he doubts himself, but then he gets over it. He knows he's doing the best thing. It's his job to correct every mistake his father made.

He gets ready and when he gets down to breakfast Alys is already there with Lynn. Wylan thought that she was going to be angry when she found out that Jan left without saying goodbye, but he thinks she's actually happy. Lynn still asks about her father and that makes him feel guilty, but one day he will tell her what happened and hopefully, she can forgive him. He doesn't want her life to be a lie like his was. If she wants to find Jan and talk to him, then he will ask Kaz for his address.

"Good morning." He says as he sits down at the head of the table. Sitting there makes him feel awfully small and he wishes Jesper was here. The thought of Jesper makes his chest warm.

"Good morning, Wy." She says cheerily and Lynn only glances at him, her mouth full of cereal. "Is today the day where I'm finally going to meet your boyfriend?"

Wylan's stomach turns at this, but he feels a smile appear on his face. "He's not my boyfriend, you can't call him that to his face."

She gives him a knowing smile and he laughs. She's been so supportive of him since he told her he's gay, he hadn't realized he was so scared when he told her until she hugged him and he felt himself relax. Lynn, of course, didn't care about anything that wasn't her toys, candy, and bitting things off.

"But yes, he's coming here today." He looks at the time on the new watch Jesper gave him and sees that it's almost 7 am. "Any moment now he will be here." He stops for a second. "And so will my mom."

Alys' smile drops for a second at this, but then she puts it back on. "I can't wait to meet her." She says as cheerily as before, but he can see it's an act. He's known her for five years now, he can tell.

"She can't wait to meet you." He says and it's true. He knows Alys is only nervous, worried that his mom won't like her. But he also knows that's impossible. You can't not like Alys.

"Than it's mutual." She says. "Well, I should get ready. I want to soak a little in the tub, this boy is starting to make my back hurt." She taps her bump.

"Alright then, see you later."

He's only started eating when he hears the doorbell, followed by footsteps. He gets up in time to greet Jesper, Kaz, and Kaz's brother, Jordie.

"You guys are early." He steps closer to them. "Come have breakfast with me and we can discuss what we're doing today."

Kaz arches one eyebrow. "Spoke like a true politician."

Wylan flushes a little, but then he turns to Jesper and smiles, he sees the Rietvield brothers - that's Kaz real last name, Wylan hasn't called him anything else since he found out - walk to the table from his peripheral vision but he focuses his attention on Jesper.

"Hi." He sighs. He saw Jesper only three days ago, but it felt like a month. He has half a mind to ask Jesper to just move in with him already, but that sounds ridiculous. They haven't even known each other for two months yet. Right?

"Hello, princeling." Jesper goes to give him a kiss, but he turns his face so it lends on the cheek. He holds Jesper's hand and indicates the table with his head, where his little sister is still sitting, Jesper's hand tightens in his in acknowledge. He knows it's silly to be nervous, Lynn didn't care when he told her, and she won't care now, but being careful won't kill him.

"Missed you." He whispers to Jesper before he can stop himself, and then he pulls him to the center of the room, stopping in front of Lynn. "Lynn, look up, I want to show you someone special." She looks up from where she's now eating a banana, something dark smudged on her cheek that he has no idea where it came from. "This is Jesper, my friend." He regrets saying it as soon as it leaves his mouth, it feels wrong calling Jesper that.

Lynn looks from him to Jesper. "Your boyfriend?" She asks and if he was eating he would choke. As it is he can only stand there with his mouth open, getting redder by the minute as Kaz turns from his seat in front of Lynn to laugh silently at them. "My mom told me that when boys like boys than they're boyfriends. And when girls like girls they're girlfriends."

"Right. But not every boy - I mean- he's- you know- he." He closes his eyes and turns to Jesper. "Jesper, this is my sister, Lynn. You two are going to get along fine."

Jesper beams at him and he feels the urge to kiss, he doesn't know what's stopping him anymore.

"Let's eat." He says as he sits back in his place.

Kaz is sitting on Alys vacated sit and Jordie is sitting in front of him, Jesper walks to Kaz. "You're sitting in my place."

"No, he's not." Lynn says. "That's mummy's place. This is my place, and there where that boy is sitting was Wy's place, but now no one sits there. Wy sits on daddy's old place, but now there's no daddy's place, so…" She frowns and goes back to eating. Wylan doesn't know what to say, but before he can figure out Jesper walks to the other end of the six sit table and sits down.

"I'm gonna sit here." He announces.

"Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?" Kaz asks him.

"Funny, Rietvield." Jesper says. Like Wylan, he also started calling Kaz that, even though he already knew that was Kaz's name. It's nice being comfortable teasing friends. He thinks he can call Kaz and the rest of the crows that now.

"Ah, anyone wants some coffee?" He asks before Kaz can start.

He gets the empty coffee pot when they all nod and goes to the kitchen to get some more. It still feels weird going into his own kitchen. While his father was living here he never allowed any of them to go there, the times he went were always during the night, in secret. It feels like he's doing something wrong. When he goes back, Lynn is gone.

"A babysitter got her." Jesper says when he sees his look. Wylan nods and walks to him, filling his mug with coffee. "Um," Jesper hums quietly, so only he can hear. "It's kind of nice having you serve me in your fancy house and fancy clothes, we should revisit this later, you know." He gives Wylan a look that can only be described as inappropriate and Wylan is glad his sister isn't in the room anymore.

He looks away from him, his scarlet face probably brighter than his hair at this point. He goes to fill Kaz's and Jordie's mugs, trying to ignore Jesper's heated stare.

They still haven't done anything besides that initial handjob and he's starting to feel frustrated with himself. Every time they start something, his heart gets heavy and he can't continue. He wants to, but he can't do it. He's been spending more time with his hand than since he was 15.

"So," he says when he sits down. "What are the plans for today, Rietvield?" He says looking at Kaz, but it's his brother that speaks.

"Right now you need to look like a united front. You, your pregnant stepmother, your half-sister and your mother. On the collective today they need to be physically behind you, so we know that you all think the same and are more prepared than before to lead this country."

As someone who works with politics and celebrities, Jordie is perfect for the job. Kaz dealt with steering the narrative the way he wanted when they shared the news of the King stepping aside from the throne and taking a vacation. Now it's his brother's turn to make sure that they seem like a united front; and he, Wylan, like a strong future King. Jesper says very little during the meeting and Wylan avoids looking at him in case he's still thinking things he shouldn't.

"So, when your mom gets here, I'm going to need to speak to her and Alys to discuss their part in all this." Jordie finishes.

"Um, both of them together?" He asks.

"Why?" Kaz asks. "If they're fighting we need to know."

"They're not fighting." Wylan says dismissively. "They haven't even met. Which is the problem."

"Well, we will do quick bonding exercises then." Jordie says, unconcerned and completely serious.

"Alright, um," Wylan gets up. "Why don't you go to the living room, and I will meet you there in a second. Jesper." He looks at him for the first time in half an hour and he feels a shock go through his body.

"Be quick, we don't have all day." Kaz says.

Wylan doesn't even bother to answer him, he steps outside of the room and opens the first door he sees, the library. For a second he wonders if Jesper followed him, but when he turns he's right behind him. He pulls Jesper inside and then pushes him against the door, locking them inside. "Did you have to say that? God." He attacks Jesper mouth, not giving him time to answer.

"I'm spontaneous like that." Jesper says between kisses, pulling Wylan even closer to him.

For a moment Wylan allows himself to pretend he can keep kissing Jesper, and then maybe they could take their clothes off and fuck right there in the library. Or maybe he could go down on his knees and suck Jesper off until he forgot all the words. But eventually, he leans back and watches Jesper. He will never get tired of looking at him. Jesper is so handsome with his grey eyes, short hair and the most perfect lips Wylan's ever seen. He kisses them again because he can, but then he takes a step back and straightens his clothes.

"Come on, we still have time." Jesper whines - whines - and tries to get him closer again, but he steps away, smirking.

"I need to look impeccable today, no time for fooling around."

Jesper pouts. "We are fooling around."

"Well, you keep rilling me up."

Jesper presses himself against him in the blink of an eye. "I can rile you up even more." He gives a small thrust against Wylan's leg and he can feel that he's hard. Semi. Not that it makes a difference.

He wiggles away from Jesper's grasp. "You can stay here and take care of that if you want. I can show you which ones were Jan's favorite books and you can use them to clean yourself after." He holds Jesper's chin and leans up to give him one last dirty kiss before leaving.

When he gets into the leaving room there are more people sitting there than before. His mother and Alys are sitting side by side, not talking or looking at each other.

"Oh, mom!" He says, surprised. "You came early."

"She's right on time." Kaz says dismissively as Wylan hugs his mom. "We were talking to them."

"Right, um, can you two give us a second, real quick." He says to the brothers.

Kaz looks at him. "Should I find Jesper?"

Wylan flushes. "No, he's fine." He turns to the women after they leave. He breathes. "Mom, this is my step-mother, Alys. Alys, this is my mom, Marya." He wonders how many more of those introductions he has before all the people important to him know each other.

"Yes, we met." His mom says, a little confused.

"I know, I just- the only reason you two are meeting is me. Me and Lynn. She's my sister, and that makes us all family. So, I want us to be one." He feels nervous and choked up, but their eyes soften as they look at each other again. He knows his mom must be thinking of his father more than ever when she's in this house, seeing a woman pregnant with his baby. But he doesn't want her to think of him.

They get up and give a tentative hug. It ends almost as soon as it starts, but it's a beginning. The doors open and he sees Jesper, a question in his face, he nods him forward as an answer.

"Now, mom, you already know him, but, um, this is Jesper. Jesper, this is Alys, as you probably guessed."

His mom turns to them. "Yes, I remember you. How are you, boy?"

"I'm great Mrs. Hendriks, nice to see you."

Alys' eyes shine as she looks at him and Wylan knows what she's going to say immediately. "Oh, so this one is your boyfriend. Let me tell you, a better choice than the other boys that were here."

"He's just my- nevermind. Thank you." He says through his blush. He doesn't want to look at his mom and Jesper must sense this because he steps closer to him, not touching, but still giving comfort. He looks up to find her closer to him than before. She gives a soft smile and hugs him tight. He tries to say something, but nothing gets out. He closes his eyes instead and hugs her back, he thinks it's enough.

She kisses the side of his face and then pulls away. "Now, where are the boys?"

"I'm gonna get them." Jesper says, squeezing his hand for a second before leaving.

Wylan watches him go and then turns to the two woman in the room to find them both sitting again, a twin expression of mischief on their faces.

"What?" He asks, flushing for no reason.

"That boy is gone for you." His mom says.

Alys nods in agreement. "You need to stop pretending he's not your boyfriend, everyone can see he is."

"I'm not- I'm not _pretending_. We just haven't talked about it yet."

His mom rolls her eyes. Rolls them. "He's being ridiculous." She says to Alys.

"Not calling him his boyfriend doesn't make him any less of his boyfriend." She agrees.

He huffs indignantly, but at that moment the boys come back, Jesper sits down next to him, their tights touching, and he makes a point of not looking at anyone else during the meeting expecting Kaz and Jordie.

 

After two extensive hours of discussing and planning their next moves, they take a break to eat and Wylan takes his mom outside to see her horse, their horse.

"Oh, Maya." She squeals. "I missed you. Have you been taken good care of?"

"I took care of her personally." He says a little proud and his mom looks at him fondly.

"You look good, happy." She says to him. "Better than before."

He chuckles. "I mean, the day we saw each other wasn't exactly a good day, but I'm good. A little nervous." He confesses.

"You're going to be a good king."

"I- I'm going to try my best." He says seriously.

"I have no doubt." Her eyes turn sad and she looks back at Maya. "I missed so much."

"I can show you pictures." He rushes to say. He doesn't want her to be sad. "And you're going to meet Lynn, and you'll love her."

"Yes, but I missed you turning into a man." She says and he feels alarmed when he notices a tear going down her face.

"I'm not a man, yet." He says dumbly and she smiles.

"Maybe not yet, you're right." She tries to seem cheerful, but he knows she's not.

"It's okay." He says, holding his hand out to her. "The man I'm now it's all thanks to you. You'll see so much of me now you'll get tired."

"Thank you." It's all she says and he hugs her again. She smells different than the last time he saw her and he feels nostalgic when he smells her now like this is what she used to smell way back.

"If you ever want to move out, you tell me." He says against her neck. She's going to live in the mansion for a while, but he doesn't know how happy this will make her.

"For now I think I'm good here."

They go back inside and Lynn is back now, sitting on the floor with Jesper, showing him her dolls. There's another round of hellos as he introduces his mom to Lynn and then he and Jesper step back to see them interact.

"Big family, um." Jesper says, resting his face on Wylan's shoulder.

"Five people don't make a big family." He snorts. He wonders if seven does. "Do you have a big family? I mean, cousins and such?"

Jesper sighs and Wylan can feel his breath, brushing against his cheek. "Kind of, yeah. My mom's family is big, my dad's not. But I haven't seen them in a while. Maybe I can do it now that I'm not working with Kaz anymore. I could even do it on my birthday, you know me and my father have been planning to visit my mom. But I don't wanna leave you alone now."

Wylan wants to agree with him, Jesper's birthday is in a few days and he was planning something special, but he also knows Jesper needs to visit his mom again. "You should do it. You're going to be here today and tomorrow and those are going to be the hardest days, besides, I have people watching my back now, and it's all thanks to you."

"You already had people that loved you before. But I guess I could spend the night at your place and the rest of the day with my father in our hometown."

"Sounds like a plan." He turns to Jesper and their lips almost collide with how close they are. His heart is pounding because this is the perfect moment for him to talk to Jesper about something he's been trying to avoid. "Are you sure about doing this?" He asks quietly so only he can hear it.

"Going to my hometown?" Jesper asks unconcerned, his hand coming up to brush Wylan's hair.

"No, about working with me. You left Kaz, but you're still working. Wasn't leaving all this behind the point of not working for Kaz anymore?"

Jesper looks him deep in the eye. "I don't know what is the point of this. Finding out the point of this is what I'm trying to do. I want to help you. I'm working for Kaz like his brother does now, only as extra hands when he needs to."

"So… working with me is not bothering you?"

Jesper frowns. "You weren't worried about this, were you?" When he doesn't answer Jesper sighs and pulls him closer, ignoring anyone that might be looking at them. "Helping you is fun. I'm your, what's the word that you used, your nevermind?" Wylan pinches him and Jesper's smile gets larger. "I would want to help you anyway."

"Well, if you don't want to do it anymore, please tell me."

"Um," Jesper hums, pulling down to kiss Wylan's neck, making him blush immediately. "Don't worry. It's not gonna happen, but I promise to tell you if it happens." He pulls away and looks at him. "We should have a talk at some point though, get some things straight."

Wylan scrunches his nose. "Getting things straight is the last thing I want." He looks behind him and when he doesn't see anyone looking at them he gives Jesper a peck and steps away. "But sure, Nevermind, let's talk."

He turns back to the room, ready to get some more planning done before the interviews this afternoon. And then maybe after this, he and Jesper can have some time alone.  
  


* * *

He and Wylan haven't had time alone for almost a month and Jesper doesn't think he can handle it anymore.

As he walks through the Geldstraat propriety by himself, he keeps catching himself thinking how beautiful it is. It's been almost two months since he saw it for the first time and he still hasn't seen all the rooms. It stands imponent and undiscovered in all its white glory.

It makes him sad to imagine a tiny Wylan alone in a place like this, without his mother and with a father that hated him. Now this place is always filled with people, today more than ever, but he thinks he can still see the ghosts that live here.

In a couple of hours, Wylan is going to become the king. Officially. Jesper's boyfriend will be the king. No, that's not really it, because before being his boyfriend, he was already the prince. Jesper is the one who will be dating a King after today.

His stomach turns with nerves, he doesn't know if that changes anything for them, he hopes it doesn't.

His feet bring him back to the mansion and he immediately recognizes one of the windows. He gets a pebble from the floor and throws it strong enough to knock on the glass without breaking it. A couple of seconds later Wylan's frowny face appears, a smile blossoming when he sees it's Jesper.

"What are you doing?" Wylan asks, only slightly louder than usual.

"Oh, you know. Walking around."

"You can wait inside the house, you know."

"I'm sorry, but it's a little creepy. All those employees that I don't know the name watching me."

He can't see from this distance but he can feel Wylan rolling his eyes. "So you let your father alone?"

"There's a time when we need to let them go discover the world on their own."

"Go back inside right now Jesper, or your father won't ever come back here." He says in a tone that Jesper now recognizes as the one he uses with Lynn. Without waiting for an answer he goes back to his room.

Jesper pouts but goes inside the house, finding his father where he let him, sitting on a couch and eating biscuits.

His father gives him a knowing look when he gets in. "Feeling better?"

"I don't know why I would need to feel better." He gets a cookie and then pours himself another cup of tea, ignoring his father's stare.

It doesn't take long before Wylan comes in the room. He's wearing his full-on king outfit. Jesper saw him wearing it before when he was getting it fitted, but nothing can compare to seeing it now. Wylan looks impressive in a way he never did before. As much as Jesper always knew he was part of the royalty, now he feels intangible, like a prince in a movie.

"Colm!" Wylan says brightly as he goes to hug Jesper's father. "I'm glad you could come."

"I wouldn't dream of missing this." His father says.

"Is the least I could do to thank-" Wylan starts but Colm is already shaking his head.

"You don't need to thank me for anything. You were a friend of my son and you needed help, I barely did anything. Considering who you are to my son now, I should have done even more."

Wylan blushes a little and he changes the subject. "These events are really boring, but the food is always great, so I hope you can have some fun." His face turns mischievous then. "I'm going to make sure you're filmed at least once so you can show your friends." Colm laughs and Wylan looks pleased. "Did you guys see my mother yet?" He looks at Jesper.

"No." Jesper says faintly, still thinking about how the ceremony is going to be filmed and broadcasted live on television.

"Oh, I'm going to-" Wylan starts, but at that time his mom comes in with Alys, both of them laughing. "I was just looking for you!" He says happily and he goes kiss both of them. "I want you to meet a friend of mine, this is Colm Fahey, Jesper's father. Colm, this is my mother Marya and my step-mother Alys."

They all say their hellos and then Alys starts fussing on Wylan while Colm tells Marya how he met Wylan, and Jesper sits back down on the couch, holding his cup of tea in both hands. He needs to get rid of all his doubts and fears now, so he doesn't ruin this special day for Wylan later. The more time he and Wylan spend together, the fewer doubts he has, but no matter how much longer it feels like, he and Wylan have only known each other for two months. Jesper's record time in a relationship was three months.

He feels someone sit down next to him and he doesn't need to look to know it's Wylan.

"It seems like it's going fine. Our parents' meeting." Wylan says and Jesper hadn't even thought of it like that, but it's exactly what it is. He's glad he didn't even have time to be nervous before the worst had passed. "Are you okay?" Wylan asks, his hand coming to rest on Jesper's tight.

He exhales and turns to face Wylan. He almost forgets what he was going to say when he looks at his earnest face. He looks both young and old. Determined and nervous. And Jesper adores him. "A little nervous. Don't want my debut on television to be a disaster."

Wylan breathes a laugh and rests his face on Jesper's shoulder, his hair brushing Jesper's face. "Tell me about it. And your part isn't even that important. I'm the one who needs to remember everything. Fuck, what if I trip when they put the crown on my head or something?"

Jesper can't help the laugh that escapes him. "You should do that, it would make me feel less nervous."

Wylan pinches his tight. "Fucker." He says fondly. "We're okay, right?"

Jesper closes his eyes. "Yeah, we're okay." He can feel Wylan's smile and the pressure on his chest feels lighter. It makes him feel an urge to pull Wylan to his room and kiss him silly. He thinks he might love him. That must be what happens in his chest every time he sees Wylan, or talks to him, or thinks about him.

He clears his throat. "Are you done getting ready?"

"Yep." Wylan pulls away from him, his hand going up to fix his hair.

Jesper gets up and he sees that his father is still talking with Wylan's mother. They seem to be laughing about something and it makes Jesper smile. It feels like now nothing can get between their lives. Except for king duties. But he needs to trust Wylan to not let it.

"Sir Wylan, your friend Kuwei Yul-Bo is here." One of the employees say.

Wylan's face lights up. "Let him in." He gets up and holds Jesper's hand. "You're finally meeting my best friend." Jesper stomach turns.

The Prince of China comes in the room and Wylan lets go of his hand immediately to go hug his friend. He's shorter than Jesper thought he would be, but he has the same powerful air Wylan has. He supposes it's something that you acquire after being born rich and powerful.

After introducing Kuwei to his family and Colm, Wylan comes to Jesper side, a smile so big on his face it seems painful.

"This Jesper Fahey."

Kuwei eyes him for a second and then he turns to Wylan. "Is this your secret, then?"

Wylan's face closes up. "He's not a secret. He's my boyfriend." He says, sure, and it makes Jesper stop. They haven't used this word aloud yet.

"He's hot." Kuwei shrugs.

Wylan gets red at the same time Jesper arches an eyebrow. "Kuwei! Let's go. I want you to meet my sister."

"I already met her two years ago." Kuwei tries to protest but Wylan holds his arm and drags him out of the room.

Jesper feels a smile play on his lips and he lets it stay there as he goes join his father.

 

Ten hours later, after a day full of interviews and pictures and rude people, they finally have time alone. Wylan drags him to his room and pulls Jesper on top of him on the bed where they make out until Wylan's lips can barely move and they're only resting against Jesper's. Still, he doesn't let Jesper go very far, circling his arms around him and breathing against his neck.

"Did you have a good time?" Wylan asks him quietly.

"It was nice. Your mom can be really funny, and having Nina and the crows around was also nice. I missed them."

"I'm glad." Wylan holds him tighter.

"King Wylan." He tests the words. He feels Wylan's face heat up and he laughs. "You knew it was going to end up like this one day."

"Not really. I thought my father was immortal for a while."

"He could be a vampire."

Wylan hums, not wanting to talk more about his father.

"So." Jesper starts. He's been dying to talk about it the whole day. "You're not the only one that gained a new status today. Boyfriends uh?" Wylan tenses a little, but he continues, not letting Wylan hide from him. "We just became neverminds, I'm not sure we're ready for boyfriends, yet."

Wylan laughs but his hand curl on Jesper's shirt. "You're not letting that go, are you?"

"I liked being neverminds with you."

"I'll make sure to put it on the ring." Wylan says and then he freezes. This time Jesper lets him turn around to hide his face on a pillow, but he can still see how red his neck and ears are. "There's no ring!" Wylan says, voice muffled. "There's no ring, forget I said anything."

Jesper laughs and lies down on Wylan's back, kissing his neck until he calms down. "Don't worry about it."

When they're alone like this, it's so easy to say it. To not worry. Here he knows his feeling won't be hurt. Here is okay that they're dating and that when Jesper thinks about the future the first image on his mind is Wylan.

"I hate you." Wylan moans, he turns his face to the side, away from Jesper and Jesper slides to the other side of him, still lying mostly on top of him, but now being able to see his face. "You were freaking out earlier, but now you're mister chill."

"You being jealous of Kuwei gave me a buster and validated my feelings." He says, taking a curl out of Wylan's eye.

Wylan sighs and doesn't even blush. "I was not jealous of Kuwei."

"Uhum."

"I was not." He tries to punch Jesper, but his arm is locked under their weight so his hand can only touch Jesper's chest. "I hate you and Kuwei both. You two should date."

"I wanna say he's not my type, but that would be a lie. The only truth is that right now I don't care about anyone else but you."

Wylan swallows. He moves again and pushes Jesper on his back, lying his head on Jesper's chest. Jesper doesn't think there was ever a place he felt more like home than this.

"I'm gonna miss you." Wylan says.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are. To college."

Jesper bites his lip. He hasn't told Wylan, but he wasn't exactly hiding it either when he was looking for colleges online. It's no surprise Wylan would realize it at some point.

"I don't know if anyone is going to accept me." He says carefully. "Besides, there are more than six months to go before term would start."

"Do you know what you want to do?" Wylan asks.

"No fucking clue." Jesper laughs and he does feel happy. He wants to figure out what he wants to do with his life, and this time he will have his father and Wylan on his side.

"With you away for college and Alys leaving with Lynn after Luuk is born this house is going back to being so lonely. She's even taking Adem with her."

The image of tiny Wylan alone in this house pops in his mind again and he squeezes Wylan closer. "It's not going to be like before. Your mom is going to be here. And I'm going to visit. You can also always go visit my father or the crows. They're your friends now too."

"I guess." Wylan's hand slips under his shirt and he yawns on Jesper's neck. "I wish I could go to college with you."

"Maybe one day." He says even though he thinks it's unlikely.

Even with all the changes Wylan wants to do, - or maybe even because all the changes - he's going to need to be present as the only king.

"It's okay." Wylan says, his voice laced with sleep. "I wanna do this now, I think I can do something good here. I can always live college through you."

He tries to answer but falls asleep before he can.  
  


* * *

Wylan can barely walk. Jesper's warm hand in his, a promise that helps him put one foot in front of the other in the direction of their bed. Jesper's bed. He hasn't been in Jesper's apartment for a while and even in his extreme state of tiredness he can still tell that he missed it.

It doesn't have the homey feeling that Colm's house has or the immutable comfort of the Geldstraat propriety, but it feels like a place where he can be himself. He likes seeing the mess in Jesper's house and knowing where he stands in it. The side of the couch he usually sits in, the mugs he uses, his shampoo in the bathroom. Somehow he's carved a place for himself in Jesper's life and he's proud of it.

Jesper takes him to the bedroom and helps him undress and then they fall under the covers only in their underwear.

"You were so amazing today." Jesper says as he kisses him deeper than he would have expected. "I wanted to kiss you so badly. If there weren't cameras all around…" He kisses him again and Wylan tries to keep up with him but he's tired and a dopey smile keeps breaking into his face between kisses and getting in the way.

Jesper finally seems to give up and sighs in his mouth.

"Things are going to calm down now." Wylan promises him, scratching his nails lightly over Jesper's head. After today their country is a Parliamentary Monarchy and Wylan's job has become much smaller.

Jesper snorts. "Give six more months and you might be right."

Wylan only hums. He knows now that Jesper is at his side and is proud of him. He doesn't need to blame himself for trying to do the right thing for his people. "I was talking to Kaz today." He says instead.

"Did he ask for more money?" Jesper jokes.

Wylan doesn't answer back immediately. Some things are always going to be hard to joke about. "We were talking about me coming out."

Jesper detaches himself from Wylan's chest to look at his face. "Really?" He asks neutrally, but Wylan can see the spark in his eyes.

"Not now, but yes." He gives a tentative smile and feels it grow when Jesper pecks his lip, a smile on his own lips. "I want to come out. I think… I think the truth can be freeing."

Jesper pulls away from him again, his face serious. "I'm proud of you. But if you decide you don't want to do it later on, I'm still going to be proud of you."

Wylan's hand smooths over Jesper's back as he sighs. "With Kaz on my side, nothing could go wrong."

"That's the spirit." Jesper pauses. "And would I be coming out with you?"

Wylan's cheeks heat and Jesper kisses one of them, nosing on his hair. "If you want to, yes. Kaz was talking about how being in a committed relationship would help, and the people already knows you, and knows you're gay. It only depends if you would want this kind of atten-"

Jesper kisses his lips. "You know I love attention."

He shakes his head and curls himself around Jesper. He doesn't need to confront Jesper anymore, now he knows when he's joking to lighten the mood or when he's doing it to avoid talking about his feelings. And in this case, he knows it's the former.

"Thank you for everything." He tells him honestly.

"It was mostly Kaz."

"I'm thankful for the help Kaz gave and continues to give me. But with you, I'm glad you chose to be in my life."

Jesper rolls over him and breathes against his hair. "I'm glad I had the choice, and for my part, I'm going to continue making this choice for as long as I can."

It's way past midnight and Wylan knows that means it's officially been four months since he first met Jesper. He thinks about all the people he has in his life now that he didn't have before, and the ones he's glad to see outside of it. He thinks about the major he was doing and isn't anymore, and his status as the king that feels so new and fragile. He thinks of Geldstraat, his house on the UvA campus, Colm's house, the Slat, and the house he's in now. He thinks of his little sister and his newborn brother. And he thinks of Jesper.

Lately, everything seems to come back to Jesper. So much has changed, including himself, and sometimes he doesn't know how all his lives fit together, how he can be so many people at once. But it seems like no matter who he is, he's always in love with Jesper.

In a couple of hours he has a long morning of meetings as a king, and then he promised to go visit Alys before another meeting he has with Kaz's brother, finishing up his day with dinner with a president and a king. He also wants to wake up early and try to have the morning sex with Jesper he's been dreaming about for weeks but could never find the time to, and at lunch, Jesper promised to bring him food from his father's place over to him, and he might even go to the Rietvields meeting with him after.

He pushes Jesper enough off him to sit up and turn the bedside table light off. He has six hours before he needs to get up. He goes back under the covers and adjusts Jesper's arm on his waist.

"Let's go to sleep. I can't wait for tomorrow." He whispers against Jesper's skin and closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you noticed but we had another development to the superhero au, kaz has now mind-reading powers, which would kind of explain why he knew everything from the start.
> 
> This is soooo cheesy. I have no regrets.
> 
> Again, thank you for everyone that commented and gave kudos!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story you can reblog [this post](http://my-honeydukes.tumblr.com/post/175458801198/upholding-by-sterekristmas-jesper-still-hasnt) on tumblr


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